Happy 35th Birthday, LOL LOL!

Dad says he’ll solve the makeshift washer drain pipe issue next weekend.  And you should be happy you got confirmation that roots are not getting in…that is very good news!

He’ll also show you how to snake a drain.  Do you want a drain snake for your birthday present this year…now that’s definitely something to commemorate your 35th birthday.


Tarts and Liars

Backstory: I have just come out of a long term relationship and was making the most of being single. This was sent around 8 a.m.

Mum: Are you at home?
Me: No
Mum: I know your not, I drove past your house and your car wasn’t there.
Me: Then why ask?
Mum: I was checking to see if you were going to try and lie to me.
Me: Why would I do that?
Mum: TART!

Too Young for Nail Polish

Backstory: I recently attended a work party with my husband where we were told we looked too young to have three kids.
you think you are too young looking to have 3 kids??? I got some nail polish remover today and was asked for ID!!!! had to be over 18 to buy it!!!!! you have nothing on your mother!!!!!!

New Year’s Cleaning

Mom: was going to get in the shower, put pjs in the wash.. decided to vacuum the house… in socks and Birkenstocks. (you are welcome for that picture!)
Me: LMAO!!
Mom: Have added a scarf to my cleaning ensemble
Me: Nips get chilly?
Mom: yes, and hit one on the door… ouch! hahaha

Skin Care Secrets

Mum: Hi, I’ve got 3 white spots on my face. Bummer.
Me: No picking! I will inspect on Saturday.
Mum: I know. You will have to help.
Me: Help you what? Please don’t make me squeeze them.
Mum: I had a little pick. I have never had them before.  I will look them up on the internet.
Me: Eeuw! They might be milia. I get them all the time and they’re like little waxy beads under the skin. Nice.
Mum: I don’t care what they’re called I want to get rid of the little buggers.

Gift Peepin’

Backstory: I asked my mom via email not to open any packages I’ve sent to her house until we arrive for Christmas.  This was her response.  She’s worse than my kid.
You know i like to peek, but i will not leave any traces.  this is the best i can do.

Grandma’s on the Prowl

I keep looking for a boyfriend but they’re so old looking. Besides I’m enjoying my independence!!! I would give it all up if I could have your grandpa back but since that’s not going to happen I’ll only hitch up with some rich old guy who has NO FAMILY , HAS LOTS OF MONEY ,AND ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE AND ONE ON A BANANA PEEL!

Happy Thanksgiving, From Dr. Seuss and The Traffic Gods

Backstory: I was stuck in traffic on the way home for Thanksgiving, and decided to vent my frustrations to my mother via text message.  I appreciate that she responds to my vulgarities with smiley faces.
Me: Traffic is balls!
Mom: no sweetie, its just cars and trucks :)
Me: well then it also sucks cars and trucks
Mom: ok dr seuss


Backstory: My sister and I are in our mid-twenties and I only live 30 minutes from home. I think my mom watches too much dateline…
I think we have to a make a rule for the family. No one needs to remind each other. We all have to do this.

We can do the things mentioned below, as much as we can.

1) When any one goes out of town:

TEXT when going and coming back:
- when you reach airport in Chicago,
- the phone no of the friend’s house you are going
- if taking taxi from airport – let us know which cab
- when you reach friends house

Then every day
- just 1 text at night when you are back – saying how your day was and that u are in the house.

When in town:
Every one when they go late night out should text when they are back home.


Morning Run, Sans Bra

There’s just nothing like running around the neighborhood, in the wind, in your stained robe, with your braless boobs bouncing down to your waist looking for your husband and a runaway dog.  Yes, Whimsy pulled herself off the leash and had an early morning run.  She is now back home, looking very proud of herself, with all of us starving for some breakfast and a good stiff drink.

Love, Mom