Possibly Counterproductive Medical Advice
My potassium is low and the doctor is recommending that I simply eat potassium-enriched foods….on the list is chewing tobacco!
I think I’ll start to chew!
love, mom
Beware the Killer Pancakes
Just concerned, that’s all. Make sure you wash your hands often to keep the flu away. The hand sanitizers arent as affective as people think. Soap and water still best.
Also, never use any outdated Bisquick mixes or cake mixes or anything like that. The yeast in them goes bad and creates a deadly bacteria.
OK I’m done.
Love you
Safety Text!
Hey. Girls
Please be careful you both go to schools near. Ghettos. I know you think you are safe and invinsible but please be aware & please be careful
I love you
Xoxo
Presidential Thermometer
Backstory: I recently moved to Russia. As you may expect, it is colder here than at home. I was telling my mother about the weather and comparing it to President Obama’s inauguration in January, where I couldn’t feel my anything below my knees after several hours on the street.
Barack Obama is your new thermometer?
I’ll send you very warm (lined with thinsulate) gloves, hats, scarves, and BTW, you NEED a long down coat, dude!
xox
Making a List, Checking It Twice
Good morning girls!
Dad has given me 2 things for his Christmas list.
1. Cordless Drill Driver
2. 12 gauge pump Shotgun – nothing fancy – all purpose for hunting – he’s thinking that when he retires he might go hunting with his son-in-laws. He also wants to get one before they are outlawed. He thinks that is coming sometime.
So, there you have it so far.
Too Young
Backstory: I had emailed my mom about having a “senior citizens” dinner with a close friend on a saturday night and said I should start buying cats….I turned 30 a month ago.
you are too young to get cats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Project Bye Bye Favre
Backstory: My mom is a 55 year-old Indian lady. She recently started watching football.
Even I was livid watching the bozo and I couldnt care less about football. They had project bye bye FAvre and burned his jerseys then they stopped . But they had groups standing outside and chanting things about Favre. People in MIlwaukee are thoroughly disgusted and depressed about this blatant traitor -idiott.
I hope he breaks his arm
Love,
Amma
Tortoise Rage
Your idiot brother bought a tortoise. I am so angry. He knows in a very clear way that I don’t want pets in my house. Plus it needs a light on all the time and so is living in Dave’s room where I sleep a few nights a week, that will have to change. Would like him to return it.
Travel Plans Thwarted
Me: hi mom
Me: guess what
Mom: what?
Me: i can go from new york to warsaw for $621
Mom: oh boy
Me: i know
Me: in january
Mom: you have a dentist appt in january
