mom: i have pretty nails
mom: i got them “done”
me: really?
mom: yep
mom: 17.99
mom: i got them for my 25th reunion
me: fancy!
mom: i am a fancy lady!
mom: i should marry myself!
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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
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