Stanley was the monkeys name on Leave it to Beaver.  It got pneumonia and almost dies!  His bed was a wagon while he was sick.

Can you do me a favor and look at Ashley’s wish list on hottopic.com? you just need to put in her email address.

some of the tee shirts i think are relatively harmless (e.g. bloo), and some i know are offensive.  but what about the others? don’t know what paramore is (a band?) or invader zim (a cartoon?)  “omg-wtf”?

please advise your uncool clueless parental unit.  don’t want to buy her something that’s blatantly offensive and she’s going to get sent home from school!

 gracias…
 xo
 mom

Can’t believe you’d be so dumb to do that video and put it on your blog…..I’m not tunning in anymore…..smart and funny is great; that ‘s disgusting

In my excitement, of course, this was totally incorrect; Julie will always have the claim to fame of being the first great-grandchild, even if her Dad’s tattoo is from “Never Ending Story.”
XXXOOO
Mom

The song I was trying to think of was “Addicted to Love” sung by Robert Palmer.  The girls are all dressed alike and have no expression.  He died at age 54 of a heart attack.  Love, Your ‘Debbie Downer’ Mother

A man came to my house yesterday selling windows. He kept talking and talking. I tried to shut the door. I didn’t want to be impolite. I kept inching the door shut more and more. Finally I told him that his zipper was completely open, which it was.  He turned around and zipped up and then turned back around and kept trying to sell me windows. I told him that “Yes, I knew there was fog in our windows, that it didn’t bother us and we were not interested. Door shut. Man left.
Mom

oh my gosh, Busted!  How often does that happen?  Far too often, just when you think it’s safe to release your inner bitch, some overly nosey parker has to listen in to your highly confidential very private discreet convo……oh what tangled webs we weave when first we endeavor to GOSSIP!!!!!!!!!!!!   And the queen of “Close the door…”  ought to know.  It is pretty darn funny though!  Well daddy is now watching a movie called the reluctant astronaut starring Don Knotts.  Can I take some meager hope that at least it’s not quite as gay as chick ice skating movies?  He is now chuckling contentedly as he happily chaws on pistachio nuts…..omg I think this may be a double feature….help!!!!!!!!  Daddy has seen this a couple of times, he says it’s one of his better ones!   Well ttfn!

Lori (Greg’s) is pregnant—by the way, she is 31.  Also Michelle (Ted’s) is expecting in August.

Hi my beautiful daughter—Did you read the book review section of the NY Times last Sunday? I am going to buy the book DOG MAN. It is the story of Akitas, and I am going to whisper it into Baba’s ear. What are you doing today? I hope Obama wins today. Love and kisses—Mommy

My new glasses are still sht…. They tried to cover up by saying wireless frames need to be a little thicker due to the string that holds them on.  Bull poop

Love, Mom

I’m still in the bathroom!!!!   I DID call you back! How are you?  How is the weather?  Not bad here yet. We have a couple inches of slush and maybe we’ll get 5 inches today,  It’ll have to get colder for that to happen. Your car is being fixed. Needs an alternator and also a timing belt. Just a quick $1000!!!

More babbling later. I’m out of toilet paper!!!

MOMMO

I hope you are feeling better today.  Now you have a special area to treat with care.  That’s an important orifice as it gets used for most necessary business every day, so make sure it gets respect.
Looking forward to seeing you.  That’s an important milestone, graduation from college.  Let us know if you want us to bring anything.
mom
(trying to not be toooo mom-like)

I think the age difference for you is OK.  The only thing is that he might be very ready to settle down at 30.  And you have said you are not ready.  Nice that he is cute but not essential.
Take care of yourself.  Watch your heart.  Keep your head.  Have fun.

Love always,
Mom
 
(Maybe you should google him)

I went to a plastic surgeon yesterday to talk about Brenda’s and my droopy eyelids and my many chinz. He was really good and very candid and impressive. Said I didn’t need an eyelift— botox would do just as well— and told Brenda she needs to go to an eye surgeon, not a plastic— to fix her droopy eye. He said that there are better, less invasive was to do my chinz— lipo mostly and slight tucks at the hairline. I’m wondering if there are better and less invasive ways to do your arms. He’s one block from my office, and I would be happy to go with you if you are interested. Actually, Nana raised it when i told her about me. She wants us to use your trust to pay for it. You’ve stabilized your weight for long enough to have it make sense— and the gym will only help.

loveyou
mommy

Oh,

And dad asked if I wanted him to call me “Di” instead of Diane, like the rest of my family does. Isn’t that odd that after 30 years he would ask me that? I told him sure. He called me Di once (with a Scottish accent) and hasn’t called me that again. I just thought that it was strange.

Mommy