hi, pooh:
grandma is using the homeopathic remedies you sent, but she still isn’t feeling well.  she says it’s not a cold or the flu, she just feels weak.  i sometimes see her holding on to something like she’s lightheaded and when i ask her what’s wrong, she says “nothing, i’m fine”.  i don’t believe her [...]

Mom: You know that bridesmaid dress you showed me?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: I think you need someone with big boobs to try it on. We don’t need prostitutes walking down the aisle.

Backstory: this email is a response from my mother -in-law as to why she broke up with her boyfriend.

Gus is hungarian and was bought up w/gypsy magic. he is too into ghosts, witches and that shit. it all scares me. i just left a message on his phone and wished him [...]

That is very strange.  Do you think the bird’s building a nest and wants hair?  What kind of bird is it and did it draw blood?
Do you call Animal Control for something like that? It’s kind of Hitchcockian.  Do not throw the Coach bag at him. Better to be maimed and sent to the ER.  [...]

It’s cloudy and cool today.  A great school picnic day.  I don’t think it will rain but its very overcast.  I prayed for a nice trip home.  Was my prayer answered?  I hope so.  I can’t wait to see the pictures.  I didn’t ask but did you ride on the bridge?  As long as you [...]

I have a stupid question.  Do you think that I have instant messenger?  Because I seem to get your emails right away.

Backstory: I am the youngest of 4 children, my mother was terrified for me to leave home and live on my own. I finally found a roommate and a place we could afford, this was her answer to my email informing her of our plans. The funny part is, we aren’t immigrants…

Grumble,,….grumble,…. You don’t know [...]

I have to share this Andrew story with you. Your nephew is unbelievable.
Scene: Friday afternoon, 2nd floor den
Characters: Dana, Jack, Andrew, and Sadie (Bubby)
Andrew (seeing the telephone he had left on the floor after answering it): I’m going to put this here, on the couch. It’s very delicate.
Bubby: Thanks, sweetheart. That’s really thoughtful of [...]

mom: omg, cute overload is sooo cute lately
me: that’s pretty much the point
mom: haha, true. I love it when they say, just kill me now

OMG Now when I move the cursor over your name, this Barbie-doll-ish blong CARTOON pops up!! Very lifelike!! How did you do that, & how can I make one??