HI!
I remembered I hadn’t said thank you for the wireless connection thingy that you also sent.  Dad is very excited by that. Apparently we can also use it with the IPOD thingy too but we definitely haven’t figured that out at all!

Once again thanks for bringing us in to this brave new world!

Love you guys.
Mom

I know you get busy sometimes and don’t have time to call and check in with me on your way home and things are so busy when you get home with getting dinner and everything.  Don’t worry about it if you can’t check in, just give me a call and let me know.

Backstory: I sent my dear, sweet Mumsi the link to your website and ever since she has been signing her emails “LOL Mom”.  I wasn’t quite sure she understood what it meant, so I asked her…

I got the LOL from that website about Moms’ emails – some of the Moms used it to sign off – it means Lots of Love of course, what else COULD it mean?? – hope it’s not something kinky as I don’t do kinky – have been racking my brain to think of something off-color that it could mean and just can’t come up with anything!!

If LOL is off limits for signing off, I might adopt your xxoo – it’s a nice one – love is nice too but gets boring to just put “love” all the time – variety is good, right?  So, bye for now … xxoo Mom

Hi there Missy,

How are you today? We’re having James and Nancy over tonight, and of course, I couldn’t rest thinking of all the stuff I wanted to get done – so I didn’t get to sleep till after midnight and I’ve been up since 5:00. I am crazy, its true. But I got the vacuuming done this am., cleaned the downstairs bathroom, folded one load of laundry,unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned carton of strawberries (which I promptly dumped all over the kitchen floor- gads!) and misc. odds and ends. Now I just have to cook when I get home, and I can handle that, I think. I’m getting my allergy shots today, I just hate them, they hurt and my arms swell. Oh well, I am a big baby.

Love,
mom

Backstory: I’m deployed overseas with the Army

I was really sorry I missed your call for my birthday. Thanks for the picture disk; sorry I haven’t gotten one off to you. I can’t believe with Linda here I completely spaced on picking your things up at the armory. I’m going to try to make it there tomorrow. I am having a party here tomorrow and it should be a lot of fun. All girl-sleep-over optional. I don’t want any drunk drivers. We’re playing WII, Karoke, cards, ping-pong and just being nurses gone wild…wish you were here to celebrate. Can’t believe I’m 50 hoping for a better decade than the last one. I’m glad things worked out for your leave. Is this a short one? Are you going somewhere? Well I’m off for now. Love, MOM

I saw that [redacted] fellow sent you a silly email at 2:30 AM.  How sad.
I think he is crying out to be accepted by you.  I think you should invite him over for a bbq and let him know he doesn’t need to be successful or funny or even smart, to be your friend – he should just ask nicely.
This is what I told your brother in 1st grade when Zach used to trip him every day at school, and break his pencils.  Zach just didn’t know how to make friends.  He is still a rotten kid of course, but at least his is a rotten kid who is your brother’s friend.

Hi,

I wanted to let you know that I’m home from the dentist, and everttying went well. I;m not even going to spellchech this cause I am really out of it. I’m somewhat still flying with all the meds in me, I read your email, and I’m sure we can help this wekend. .

love from your stoned out mother, x0×0x0×0x0×0x0×0

Backstory: My cousin, who is 15 years older than me (I’m 19), just had a baby. My mom emailed my dad the pictures of her baby, and CCed me on the email.

Do you want to be a grandpa already? ^_^

I am ready to be a grandma, a young and pretty one. ^_~

I need to ask our daughter to “HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!”

Surprise, I am writing you an email.

I NEED HELP AND SOON, BEFORE I STARVE TO DEATH !!!!

I am guessing that you are wondering how come I’m doing this — it’s just because I am locked into my computer room and cannot get out.  I was trying to put a door knob on the door and got started, but the thing went completely closed as I was trying to see if it was going to fit — and now here I am having to stoop so low as to write an email to you to see if you could call someone to come get me out.  My phones, of course, are all in the other room. I thought that perhaps you could call Beverly and have her and Howie come over and get me out.  If you happen to have Tami’s number then call her.

Anyhow, can you get me out of here.  I guess I’ll just play games on the computer until someone lets me out of here.  Send me an email to let me know you are doing this for me.

At least the bloat is not permanent.  My bloat has lasted ever since Steven was born.  That boy messed me up.

Mom

I just talked to Grandma and your aunt’s wedding is going to be the 6th of December.  She asked if she could send your invitation here and I told her that if she wanted YOU to get it, she should mail it to YOU.  Novel idea?  Anyway, the best part of the conversation came later when she told me that your aunt had found her dress and it is beautiful but your aunt is worried that because the dress is ivory, people will think she’s not a virgin.  Are you kidding me?  She’s 41 years old.  I’d be wearing flaming scarlet so no one would think I was a virgin, especially if I were.  I didn’t think there was such a thing as a real forty year old virgin.  I thought even nuns had had an adventure or two by that age!  Geez!  At least I’m not related to them by blood.

L,

M

Backstory: “I received this from my mom after my brother got a DUI. Both of us are over 25, but I suppose I’m in trouble, too?!”

I shouldn’t have to find out that my son got a DUI from the local newspaper. Please come over soon so that we can discuss.

Mom

Hi Jim! I did a lot of returning today. Was successful except for Celine Dion perfume. A receipt is mandatory. Guess I’ll give that to Rita for her 60th next August. Dad and I are going to Rob Roy Beauty school tonight for Dad’s haircut and my manicure. Then we’ll go to Barbara’s Place for wieners. Hope you had a nice day. Love, Mom

The college counselor is cleaning out and has a book bag (about 12″w x 16″h and 2″ deep), has just a single magnetic clasp with a shoulder strap. It does read College Board in the lower right corner. If you don’t want it (toting yoga things?), I’m going to put it up for grabs on the counter here.

Yippee….I’m off tomorrow and Monday!!! Cindy arrives at 12:45 tomorrow afternoon…Dad will bring her home. Yes, my house is almost ALL clean; crazy me, I still want to go buy some new plants for the patio table and the flower box by the little garage door!! Can I do it?????? I still have to grocery shop too!!!!! Why do I get like this? Did you inherit it????

Mom

It’s kind of nice for the ego – that he called, right? Just remember not to give him the “power stick”. Also, you are the one who broke things off – staying friends is nice and you never know …he might introduce you to my son-in-law!!!

Call me after your lunch!

Love you,

Mom

XOXOXO

So how is it, girlie girl?  Are you okay?  We have a guy in the top 15 most wanted on the loose in MS.  He stabs and beatrs his victims with a hammer after he robs them.  Good grief.  That is truly crazy.  Let me know how the work is going.

Hi babies,

I am a little bit frightened about what is happening with daddy.  He and your sister are watching….not once, but twice a day,…… the GILMORE GIRLS.

and if that isnt bad enough, I just walked by the playroom and daddy wanted to know why she said they were getting married in 2 weeks werent they getting married beFORE he left.  I dont know what that means….but I know it isnt good.