me: I feel fat.
mom: It’s Jordan’s fault. Dump him.
me: hahahahaha I love you
mom: Are you going out with the wannabe-stalker tonight?
me: yes
mom: Well just remember, he makes you fat.
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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
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- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- The Joys of Aging (1)
- Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +18
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. The Joys of Aging +9
- 4. Way Harsh, Mom +9
- 5. Happy Milk Day +8
- 6. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 7. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 8. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 9. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
- 10. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 4. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +22
- 5. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 6. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 7. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Which One Wants to Pull the Plug? +18
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +951
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +911
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 2. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 3. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 4. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 5. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 6. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 7. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Christ in a Clown Suit (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (72)
- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
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Be careful with this guy! Mom’s tend to know a thing or two!
June 7, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Wow- a self-esteem attack and dating advice! Kudos to mom for getting it all in there.
June 7, 2008 at 4:09 pm
hahahaha I didn’t think this would make it on here. my mom is wonderful. and my new boyfriend is a bit of a stalker.
June 7, 2008 at 7:33 pm
I love this mom.
June 7, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Sounds like a hip mom with a sense of humor.
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
June 8, 2008 at 4:46 am
I wish my mum would have told me that 10 pounds ago…. or maybe it’s just all the carbs my new husband has around the house always…..
June 9, 2008 at 8:22 am
Oh, wow. Swear on my life, I read the title of this and thought, “Maybe this guy’s name is Jordan.” And it totally was- it’s not from my mom, but my boyfriend’s name is Jordan.
Strange.
June 9, 2008 at 5:10 pm
hahaha this is the funniest thing ever.
June 13, 2008 at 5:49 am
I love this mom! She ROCKS!!
June 13, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Yes, there are some VERY BAD boy Jordans out there. Watch out.
June 15, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I love this so much I cannot stop reading it.
June 18, 2008 at 2:19 pm