Gawker Today

I saw that [redacted] fellow sent you a silly email at 2:30 AM.  How sad.
I think he is crying out to be accepted by you.  I think you should invite him over for a bbq and let him know he doesn’t need to be successful or funny or even smart, to be your friend – he should just ask nicely.
This is what I told your brother in 1st grade when Zach used to trip him every day at school, and break his pencils.  Zach just didn’t know how to make friends.  He is still a rotten kid of course, but at least his is a rotten kid who is your brother’s friend.

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    • 1.  Jane

      Totally fake.

      You should be ashamed Pareene. Instead of doing something formative and constructive with the power you have, you choose to be a dick. Milk it for all its worth because when your stint at Gawker is over and the NY Observer or NY Mag doesn’t hire you to edit its classified section, the new Gawker eds will eat you alive too.

      June 27, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    • 2.  Ayn Rand

      Re: “Jane:”
      Jacob, you really need to quit the fucking internet already.

      June 27, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    • 3.  lieberhaeschen

      jane, lol wut

      June 28, 2008 at 10:30 am

    • 4.  Zach

      What d’ya mean I’m a rotten kid???

      July 31, 2008 at 1:24 pm

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Love, Mom