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Oh, Let Me Just Meet Him

Honey, honestly, don’t you think it’s about time that pseudoboyfriend be moved up in status to boyfriend.  What’s with this, “wait until i come back to school in the Fall?” Does he think someone better is coming along in the meanwhile? Hmmm?  Doesn’t he know that YOU ARE THE FRIGGIN BEST? I should know.  I made you.  I suggest we plan an outing (hehe) where i grill, no wait, take you both out to dinner.  I promise to be nice.  I am, after all, a psychotherapist.  LOL.

love,
Mum

Why Bennigan’s Closed

Just heard on the radio that all Bennigan’s have closed…..we ate there in the spring and the menu was awful…everything was fried and I know this doesn’t sound nice, but all the waitresses were really overweight….I told Dad I wondered how they stayed in business this long…..and then I heard this news this morning….

Oh by the way, White Castle’s now have BACON CHEESEBURGERS….I always think of you when I see the commercial…

Gotta go…got stuff to do..

Have a good day…love ya..

Mom xoxo

Your Dad’s Prezzie

Hi dear…..3.08pm here.
We are just back from shopping, during which your dad bought his birthday prezzie from you.
He is delighted with it!
I have it hidden, as usual, and will drag it out on the appointed day.
It’s very nice.
Cost is 49.99 plus GST and PST which, here in the centre of the universe is 7%.  So it is 14% altogether, I guess.  I can’t figure all that out, or rather, can’t be bothered remembering it. I told him that you wanted him to choose his prezzie, and he was very thrilled.  He has waited a long while for a new knife, so he’s pleased.
If you want to respond to me here, you can do so by 4.10pm my time, at which time I expect he will haul himself out of the sack and come down here.
Love, dear, always.
Mom

Magazine Scam?

Me:  I think i just gave your number to a scam artist, Im sorry  :*{

Mom:  What happened?

Me:  Some guy from the streets wanted to sell me magazines, i told him if you all renew you might do it thru him, but Sara says its a scam

Me:  I love you  O:)

Me:  His name is John if that helps

Mom:  That doesnt sound good – was this by phone?

Me:  No.  met him on the street.  he was wearing a nice suit, but didn’t have any teeth

Mom:  R U shitting me?

Me:  No maam, R U mad?

Mom:  No, but id like to know why he wants to call me

Me:  To buy his magazines, Mom!  His friend was framed for fraud and he’s tryin to help her get back on her feet

Mom:  Hell no.

Me:  you don’t have to, tell him u went bankrupt tonite.  but the man already knows I’m spoiled.

Scrabulous R.I.P.

did you see that scrabulous is disabled?
got the broke tooth. boo.

xo yer ma

Save This Email And Remind Us

Dad and I will move to assisted living when we are 75.  Save this email and remind us that we promised to never make you deal with this – there will be plenty of other craziness we will put you through.

Cuz that’s why you have children!

Love , Mummy

SOME MACE IS A GREAT IDEA

I thought for a minute there was no shower  and I was a little nervous . It looks like a residential  area are you sure there are no gangs up there because I know that these gangs live in some Chicago neighborhoods and they do drive bys so you should definately ask about crime statistics . Even if it is gated they can shoot into the widows so  be sure you find out about that sort of thing . I know we have even had a gang murder here in recent weeks  and also since the car is a mini it may be a target for a carjacking so don’t let Robin go out alone or maybe  SOME MACE IS A GREAT IDEA. i DO LOVE HARDWOOD FLOORS THEY ARE AWESOME AND OH SHIT ok caps off  it looks very city like you see on those New York shows and just wait until you decorate it and it will be fun because you will have MONEY to spend . I think it will be very nice and I look forward to visiting. Do they have their own police station or is it the chicago police?

Mum

You Probably Know Of This Icelandic Group

i just finished watched sigur ros – heima. it’s funny, because today i found a clipping i had to buy a cd called krunna (sp?), and some of the members of that group  play with sigur ros. you probably know of this icelandic group. i loved the film for the scenes of iceland…love,  mommy

That is why everyone loves us!!

We are on the same page which is why I too enjoy soap operas and reading People. Having the ability to enjoy books, movies, entertainment, hobbies, crafts, SEWING, gardening, working around the house, etc. – on all levels – enables us to understand and be able to identify with a broad spectra of people. That is why everyone loves us!!

Love,
Mom

You Are Possessed!!

OMG!!!! You are possessed by the spirit of–certainly not your mother, not even either of your grandmothers…..must be your GREAT Grandmother! (the German one) Does your healthcare policy cover
exorcism? Maybe it has something to do with having your teeth cleaned…..

Talk to you on Sunday sometime….
Love, Mom

why mom needed to know if i had a date

To mail back the RSVP card.  The bride might need to tell a caterer at least two weeks ahead of time how many people to make food for.

I thought you read bridal magazines.  Maybe not.

Mom

Computer Problems

I think that we are going to finally ditch AOL.  I want to save my favorite places and also my old email. The computer is running very slow.  I brought it down to the computer guy, and he recommends that we get a new hard drive.  He said that my hard drive is corrupted.  Who knows.  I was more concerned that it is too warm in this room and the fan is constantly going.  I will talk to you later about IE.  It will be quite a process to get Dad used to the new way of doing “EBAY”.  I may just go nuts.

Love,
Mom

25 cent PBR

25 cent pbr at the rhino club on sundays! Of course you probably dont want to frequent there but i thought of you when i saw it.

Drifting Mind

Having a hard time concentrating this afternoon. My mind keeps drifting to Montana, a certain mountain man, and ….. Damn.

Love you.
Mom

Keylime Miley

Hey Babe,

I’m gonna make your keylime pie today, but I gotta tell ya, I had to buy the keylime in a small plastic thing like they sell lemon juice, is that right?  I hope there’s a cup in there!  I guess I should have tried Whole Foods instead of Food Lion.

Miley Cyrus is on the Today Show, she doesn’t really sing that well!!!

Mom

Twilight Bark for G-ma and G-pa

Remember in “101 Dalmatians”, when the dogs in the village wanted to talk to each other, they would bark to the dog next door, and it would carry on until every one heard the news? It was called a ‘twilight bark,’ as I recall. Well, I was going to call G-ma & G-pa just now, but I realized that they would say, how’s Melanie? how was the party?, and I would not have an answer, so if you could please get back to me with a brief synopsis of the party – kind of a like a society column item – then I can call the G-parents with answers to all of their questions.
Write back soon!
<3 momula

Lottery Dreams

Off to the gym tonight and I’ll probably pick up the winning lotto ticket on the way–I’ll let you know if we win.  Big trip to Italy/Greece and locations beyond if I do.  You would surely be invited!!!!!!  We’d ride in the airplane section that uses real utensils and salt shakers.

What a Life, Eh??

It will probably come saturday or monday so you can buy monistat external cream if you are uncomfortable in the meantime. Call me if u have any questions.

I am getting the gray out of my hair this morning. This afternoon is my nails.-what a life, eh?? Not to mention all the unpacking laundry around the house. The air conditioner man is coming 8 minutes ago-so he is late. I will wake Dan to let him know to lsiten for him cause I am going to debbie and to get your meds in a few minutes.

Sounds like you and Dan will have a good time-I am happy that you will be together. It is a mother’s dream for her children to like each other, etc. At least it is for me.

Beach house sounds fun. Glad that you are having some extra curriculars  in addition to work.  Well I have to get going so …have a great day and keep in touch.

Love, Mom

I have his bobblehead doll.

I just read the paper and in the sports section LeBron James is in Las Vagas getting ready for the Olympics.  YOU might get to see him.  He sprained his right ankle, if you see him hobble by try and get his autograph.  Tell him I saw him play in Akron when he was in High school tell him I am a huge fan of the Cavs. I have his bobblehead doll. Be sure to tell Jim this great news too. Your mission today is find LeBron,  he might even be gambling at your hotel!
Get going,
Mom

Scallops And Redrum!

We are in Digby Nova Scotia tonight and staying at the Digby Pines. It is really nice and a very old historic hotel/lodge built in the early 1900’s. Dad and I sat in the huge lobby and had  scallops for dinner. Because Digby is the scallop capital of the world! It is very similar to the lodge that was  in the movie the Shining. I hope I don’t hear redrum in the night!



Love, Mom