Your poor Dad has now been on the porcelain launchpad multiple times. The first pill was at 6 pm and it is now 10ish, so they are fast-acting!
Love,
Mom
The Porcelain Launchpad
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"As someone who just started grad school with an assistantship, and the first person in my family to go to college, i can SOOO see my mom saying this. She's not at all impressed, lol."
— Paulina
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- Jonesing for Valium (5)
- Real Housewives of New Jersey?? (2)
- Katie: LOL harsh!
- You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby (11)
- Allie: Haha! Whenever I accomplish something big like a college degree, job offer, etc. my...
- Accident, Mugging, Gender Transfer… (4)
- Little Corporate Katie: Don’t worry, I high five regularly….and often...
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Momkini +99
- 2. Floral Distraction +93
- 3. IDK Who’s On First! +80
- 4. Wanted: Garden Variety Porn +75
- 5. There’s No Such Thing As Just Enjoying Pizza +73
- 6. Accident, Mugging, Gender Transfer… +61
- 7. Bad Boyfriends Are Like Expensive Shoes +61
- 8. He Was Being So Damned Chipper +56
- 9. Some IUD Confusion +49
- 10. The Non-Dating Life +46
- 1. You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby +207
- 2. Where Did You Go? (On AIM) +197
- 3. A Christmas Poem +171
- 4. Head of the (Cl)ass +139
- 5. If You Still Speak to Your Ex… +137
- 6. Bringing Boys Home to Momma +130
- 7. Not That Kind of Entertainment +126
- 8. Found You a Boyfriend on Oprah +116
- 9. How to Cross the Street +115
- 10. A Very Important Question +101
- 1. Pulling One Over on Dad +278
- 2. We Should Probably Stop Hugging. +251
- 3. Thoughts on Death +244
- 4. Beyonce and Sigg Bottles +227
- 5. The Truth Behind Dad’s Itinerary +214
- 6. You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby +207
- 7. We Go On, We Live Life +204
- 8. Best Buy Jailbreak +199
- 9. Where Did You Go? (On AIM) +197
- 10. Stiff. +192
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1315
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +992
- 3. Get me out of here! +926
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +876
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +861
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +827
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +825
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +769
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +732
- 10. Cleaning Out The Closet +717
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Bad Boyfriends Are Like Expensive Shoes (12)
- 2. There's No Such Thing As Just Enjoying Pizza (9)
- 3. IDK Who's On First! (5)
- 4. Jonesing for Valium (5)
- 5. Wanted: Garden Variety Porn (4)
- 6. Prevaricator, Prevaricator, Pants on Fire (4)
- 7. Accident, Mugging, Gender Transfer... (4)
- 8. Ready for "Love, Mom" Part Two (3)
- 9. Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Momkini (2)
- 10. The Non-Dating Life (2)
- 1. Never Too Young for Babies (33)
- 2. Helping Haiti (15)
- 3. A Christmas Poem (13)
- 4. Bad Boyfriends Are Like Expensive Shoes (12)
- 5. Not That Kind of Entertainment (11)
- 6. Where Did You Go? (On AIM) (11)
- 7. Political Confusion (11)
- 8. You've Come a Long Way, Baby (11)
- 9. Your Dad Is Gross (11)
- 10. Hairstylist With a Veeeerrrry Plump Head (10)
- 1. How Mom REALLY Feels About Tattoos (44)
- 2. We Go On, We Live Life (42)
- 3. Never Too Young for Babies (33)
- 4. No Grandchildren Yet? An American Girl Doll Will Do (27)
- 5. Why Punish the Rest of Us? (22)
- 6. What Dad Wants for His Birthday (19)
- 7. Sex Ed, Coming Right Up (18)
- 8. The REAL Joy of Sex (18)
- 9. The Bitch Itch (17)
- 10. Sometimes a Pen Is Just a Pen (17)
- 1. Where Are You From? (168)
- 2. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (95)
- 3. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
- 4. And you are becoming a male hater (69)
- 5. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (66)
- 6. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 7. Mom the Grammar Nazi (49)
- 8. Obama's Speech Makes Muslim Mom Happy (47)
- 9. How Mom REALLY Feels About Tattoos (44)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (43)
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Leave a Comment »
too–much–information!
July 11, 2008 at 1:41 pm
must be getting ready for a colonoscopy. so not fun.
July 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Yes, J! He was getting prepped for his colonoscopy. I felt bad for him, but not to the extent where I wanted the moment by moment commentary from my mom… So Kelly I agree. TMI.
July 11, 2008 at 8:57 pm
The “porcelain launchpad” is the best part… my father likes to refer to it as “the big white phone.”
… Oh dear. That just sounded like something that would be found on [the currently non-existent] “PostcardsFromYoPapa.com”. haha. ha.
July 12, 2008 at 11:19 am
i hope thrust sufficient for lift-off was not attained. Messy. . . . . .
July 14, 2008 at 7:36 am
Sounds like Dad is an ass-tronaut ??
July 14, 2008 at 9:23 am
Ass-tronaut….
I’m dying ova heah!!!
July 14, 2008 at 12:20 pm