Loved it!  Why aren’t you a writer or working in that field?  I am about to say something horribly insensitive….Rome wasn’t built in a day. Visit the world through photos until you can get there. Plan on a trip every couple of years like most people. Are you planning on a short life? If not, you have plenty of time to do everything, even grow basil, plus many things you haven’t even thought of yet. Relax and enjoy the moment you are in. Life is not a race, it’s more like a lovely stroll where you encounter pot holes now and then. Expect to trip once in a while.  You are just in a slump…go buy some cute shoes.

1. pasta for dinner
2. got you a black bra
3. when should we give dad his prezzie? am?
4. I LOVE YOU!
5. even though you’re mean to me
6. not to worry, g-d will punish you  :^)

Backstory:  got a tarot reading in Mexico City, and one of the things I was told was that I should call my mother, which I posted about on my travel blog…

Just caught up on your latest blog posting, and I must say it took me by surprise!  Tarot!  Well, I see you didn’t
mess with the fates since you called me from the incoming runway yesterday – I appreciate it and am keeping you in my will now. (that was a joke)

TTYL

Monday morning feel so bad……………coming Tuesday I’ll feel better…..la, la, la,la……………… Talking about a heat wave (DC)……la, la, la,
Working 9 to 5……la, la, la, and the beat goes on…………….
Luv Mommy

Backstory: my 72 year old Mother went with her friend to the local casino b/c they sent a coupon for a free steak…at the Chippendale’s 5 p.m. show.

We had a good time Saturday, the show was hilarious, g-string only, thank God!  Never heard so many screaming women, sex starved, I guess, Ha!  Got a headache from the loud music and screaming..we were home by eight o’clock, was so tired yesterday, just can’t do that anymore, too old!!
went over to Cam’s around 3:30 yesterday to see Darcy swim in his new little pool ! took Lady and she behaved..then stayed til around six as Cam put the movie, Indiana Jones in to have me listen to the surround sound – really great!
Will grocery shop this morning – tomorrow will go to lunch with the bridge foursome, then play at Linda’s – look forward to it as haven’t seen them this summer.
Talk to you later!  Love you mucho, Mom

Yeah Chris is cute. Are you gay? I’d be all over him if I was your age. But then maybe you are all over each other and you are still just friends. Or that unrequited love thing. Sniff. None of my business. He seems like a nice guy. I always forget I’m wearing my prescription sunglasses. It is considered rude in some cultures to hide your eyes. By the way, if you are gay, no problems for me as long as you have kids.

Hey, Did you take the gin….Dad was looking for it this afternoon.

Love and Prayers
MOM

Backstory: I have my prescription for medical marijuana.  I told the doctors assistant not to send the ID card to the address on my license.  Unfortunately she didn’t listen and sent the ID card to my mothers house.

I have a medical marijuana card for you.  Hmmmmm.  Don’t you think it’s time to quit?  Pot & cigarettes!  At least quit the cigarettes!!!  love, mom

I’m reading a book about the Brooklyn Bridge. Did you know the Brooklyn Tower sits on rock and the NY tower sits on sand? I wouldn’t go near it, if I were you.

Hi honey!  I was thinking about you. Actually I had a dream about you last night. Kind of strange. I dreamt that you had a cavity on your left canine tooth. Is everything ok with your teeth? I know strange. I love you!
Love , Mom

We are really going to miss you when you leave for college.  But dont worry your father and I will now have an opportunity to do all the things we weren’t able to do when you were around d****, s**, and rock and roll.

Love Mom

Backstory: while on a recent business trip to Baton Rouge my mom emailed me an engagement announcement she saw of someone I used to know….

Why, you may well ask, was I reading the wedding announcements in the NY Times?  Don’t panic, I haven’t completely lost it and I’m NOT turning into a Jewish mother who will continually remind you of all the people  you know who are getting married.  As I said, it was a long trip, so I had an opportunity to read nearly the entire newspaper (after I finished the crossword), and I found that the wedding announcements are a hoot–even better than the personals in City Pages!

Thanks for calling last night. Sorry I was uncommunicative. I’m getting tired of this, but better each day. The Dulcolax I took last night may have helped somewhat. We have not recognized the obvious cure for me……an enema. There was something on TV this morning about people getting depressed with the economy. They talked about looking on the bright side, glass half full. It’s sad about grandma, uncle Bob, the swimming pool being so dirty, my gut, the economy, gas prices, the war. But I’m glad that my kids are doing well, Dad is healthy, and we don’t have money or fat problems. On the Yahoo page, health tip of the day, they say sponges can actually breed bacteria, better if you microwave the wet sponge for 1min and remove hot sponge with tongs. Don’t forget to get your car fixed. Dad and the Brake Experts recommend it. Good luck on your project. Since you like my advice so much, hope you have it fully completed by the end of the summer. Love, MOM

WT f****?????? This is going to be quite the competition. xoxoxo

Sorry to hear your reality sucks. Get over it, find joy in the small things. Would you like me to email grandma to lighten up? I’d be happy to do that for you. Been a bit tough, still in California, flying home tomorrow after the services. Remind my mom you are on vacation too and it isn’t all about HER! The travelers checks should be able to be cashed at any bank. Check and see if there is a toll free number to call on the travelers checks and if so, call and find out where the nearest place to exchange is. Take it easy, relax and be thankful that she isn’t raising you.

Love to you.

Mommy

Backstory: This was sent after we told our mom to break the cycle of chain e-mails that claim you get back luck if you don’t forward them on.

I am trying, but that b*tch keeps sending them to me.  I get scared that I will have bad luck if I don’t forward them on.

i would rather hang around w/you then go to the mtns and the times when you are doing something else, i will sit in the dark and wait for you to come back..mom