oh worry, new york has 3 times the rate of new hiv infection of us cities,  72 cases per 100,000. date only virgins.

That’s quite a tail-gate you have planned. Remember, I do not provide bail money, don’t get caught with alcohol and keep your clothes on.

Well, your father left the house early this morning to go crabbing at high tide… and returned about 30 minutes later…. As I told him he didn’t give the crabs a chance…

I thought the speech was outstanding!!!!! It actually made me cry. The stadium worked better than I thought it would. They should have held it in the Bird’s Nest and let the Chinese handle the fireworks!!! I am so relived.
I bet the Republicans are shaken!!!! (speeches sound even better while consuming one of your dad’s [...]

He is still sexy and one of the best speakers in politics. I don’t blame Monica

This is going to seem so small and petty but now that you’re with a protestant, you have to hold on to your catholic lingo.  I have noticed that catholics say someone died or passed away, never ‘passed’.  Believe it or not, I’ve noticed this and it always felt foreign to me.  And I’ve noticed [...]

I’m living in backwards world! Mother has on thick winter socks, a jacket, & is under an afghan.  Dad has on a wool jacket.  It is 75 n house cuz I sneaked thermostat down 5 degrees!  When I get old, u r gonna have 2 tell me shit straight up.

Hey guys, just accept my myspace invite for playing mafia wars. It will let me try to beat the crap out of daddy if you join my mafia family. You don’t really have to do anything, I don’t think but you might get killed off of my family if you don’t play too. It really [...]

Mom: yes, your little sister’s new college roomie seems nice. she’s from a large catholic family in minnesota, so you don’t need to worry about her getting into all that ‘goth stuff’.

Good news! I called Huffy who makes the retro bike she REALLY wants, and asked if they make it in 24″ and they do! (BUT) only for Walmart! So, I got on line and ordered a 24″ Huffy Cranbrook Cruiser and got free shipping to boot! Dad and I were having an intense verbal exchange [...]

Hi Kitten. You will be very happy to know that I was picking at my toenails and the swelling under it popped and all this black stuff came out onto the floor. It looks much better now.

Mom: It’s funny, I leave food out for the dogs all day and they don’t touch it. They wait until I’m there and then they gorge it all down. They’re like, ‘Karen’s home! Time to eat!’
Me: They call you Karen? Doesn’t that bother you?
Mom: Well, they know I’m not their mom. Actually, I’m sure they [...]

I need to hire a housekeeper.   If I make contact with your person, I will discuss pay, but if you care to tell me how much you pay, that would help.  Also, I wish that you would be honest in your assessment of the individual.  I have been burned twice recently and I would just [...]

OK - so whose blue satin bag of laundry in my entry way and whose thong on the cedar chest in the hallway????????????????????
xo

Happy Holocaust Remembrance Day! My calendar has all these ‘funky’ holidays that I’ve never heard of before. Just thought you would want to know and remember.
Love xoxomom

Oh OD (other daughter!)- did you realize Misty screwed up and when she went to scatter Mamma, they were putting up the medal platform and the ashes went on the platform??  So I guess she wasnt scattered to the winds but walked out of the stadium on the feet of the medalist. I wish I [...]

Me: I’m piercing my nose
Mom: Fine, I’m not raising your illegitimate children.
Me: What?
Mom: You’ll pierce your nose, get a trashy boyfriend and end up with illegitimate children. You and your trashy boyfriend are not living in my house, and neither are your kids.
Me: Wow mom, thanks for the credit. Clearly that’s the natural progression after [...]

Mom:  I called your grandmother and she answered with “Hi! How ARE you doing!”, then I said “Mom, it’s me.”  She dropped the act then and responded with “oh…”
Me:  I’m sorry, well she is going deaf, she doesn’t know who she is talking to most of the time.
Mom:  It’s okay, one day I’ll do it [...]

Got it!  Good photo!   Did the studio send out the buffet  for you?!!  Is that a hotdog/cigarette/donut you’re eating?!!    Who is the young lady in front of you?
I really must know what you have in your mouth.  Dad is curious, too.
Please reply immediately.  Love, Mom

what is the reason for loving Michael Phelps…  could it have anything to do with his large package???????? Did you get everything done that you wanted to do today? were you able to leave work early like you wanted to do?  call me later.  love you Mommy