Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME

Mom:  So when we come to Sydney can we stay at yours?

Mom: Hello?

Me: Oh. Sure. Well, actually there are a number of awesome hotels just a two minute walk from my house. I’ve just emailed you a bunch of links. Have a look! Am happy to book any of them for you. But, yeah, of course you are welcome to stay at mine, if you really want to.

Me: Mom?

Mom: You were welcome to stay in my uterus for nine months, and then my house for 17 years. But I understand, a week at your apartment might be a bit … much. :)

Me: Don’t you passive-aggressive-smile-face-ME, woman.

Mom: Fuck off. Love you – M.

  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • TwitThis
  • MySpace
  • Google
  • email this post to a friend!
    • 1.  Stayce

      This is so funny…I’ve had a conversations with my mom telling me to fuck off….

      August 4, 2008 at 4:21 pm

      reply arrow
    • 2.  TimBuk2

      No there’s a woman who’s not afraid to speak her mind !

      August 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm

      reply arrow
    • 3.  brittany

      i could totally see me and my mom having this same conversation. lol

      August 4, 2008 at 4:29 pm

      reply arrow
    • 4.  Julie

      OMG! How hilarious!!!

      August 4, 2008 at 7:37 pm

      reply arrow
    • 5.  Holiday Djinn

      Very funny indeed. Guilt trip ftw!

      August 5, 2008 at 7:36 am

      reply arrow
    • 6.  j

      How do we rate this post? THIS is my favorite!

      August 5, 2008 at 10:19 am

      reply arrow
    • 7.  kelly

      It would have been funnier if the child had written back “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN!”
      Classic response to Mom guilt!

      August 5, 2008 at 12:21 pm

      reply arrow
    • 8.  Dreamer Mom

      Best post ever! Wicked funny.

      August 5, 2008 at 12:21 pm

      reply arrow
    • 9.  Erin

      Bwahahahaha! My new favorite.

      August 5, 2008 at 11:06 pm

      reply arrow
    • 10.  Russ

      Now this is a cool mom.

      August 6, 2008 at 4:36 am

      reply arrow
    • 11.  Elizabeth

      Come on… let your mom stay at your house. Sheesh! Sometimes it’s tough to handle and you’re afraid if she opens her mouth even one more time you will scream… but later, you will not regret it.

      August 6, 2008 at 1:09 pm

      reply arrow
    • 12.  Joann

      Wow! Sounds like these two don’t get along. I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams telling my Mom that she should stay in a motel rather than stay at my place for a few days. Then again she allowed me to come home with 2 little children when my husband dumped me so I guess it is what goes around comes around!

      August 6, 2008 at 6:31 pm

      reply arrow
    • 13.  Poster

      We actually get along great. But seriously? Five nights of ‘together time’? Nuh uh ~ not going to happen!

      August 6, 2008 at 8:40 pm

      reply arrow
    • 14.  Kate

      I have read this one several times…it still makes me laugh.. I will have to remember to use this in years to come!

      August 6, 2008 at 9:51 pm

      reply arrow
    • 15.  Ashley

      AHHH!!! I LOVE THIS MOM!!!

      Seriously, this belongs on Best website EVER!!!

      August 7, 2008 at 3:50 am

      reply arrow
    • 16.  Heidiann

      This is the BEST post EVER. That’s a mom who keeps it real!

      August 7, 2008 at 9:56 am

      reply arrow
    • 17.  TimBuk2

      POSTER : I hope she cuts you out of the will….You don’t deserve her…

      August 7, 2008 at 10:48 am

      reply arrow
    • 18.  MFD

      As a Mom I’ll be using the 9 months / 18 years guilt trip when the opportunity presents itself.

      August 7, 2008 at 2:03 pm

      reply arrow
    • 19.  Dulcinea

      Simply hilarious. I can see it being done as an SNL skit.

      August 9, 2008 at 10:27 am

      reply arrow
    • 20.  Sara

      Just let your mum stay at your place, don’t be a prick.

      August 12, 2008 at 3:25 am

      reply arrow
    • 21.  voodoo_Child

      fuck-off…love you

      August 12, 2008 at 4:23 am

      reply arrow
    • 22.  albert

      JOKER!!!!!!! ur a bit mean to not let ur mum stay at ur house but i can see were ur coming from

      August 12, 2008 at 9:25 am

      reply arrow
    • 23.  Mona

      My son in San Franciso sent this to me. It is so “us”. This is always how his side of the conversation sounds. I’m just not a quick thinking as this mom…with the exception of FO.

      August 12, 2008 at 12:31 pm

      reply arrow
    • 24.  maxine

      haha uterus.

      August 13, 2008 at 4:20 am

      reply arrow
    • 25.  Mark

      The motel ad next to the post adds that extra touch.

      August 13, 2008 at 7:04 am

      reply arrow
    • 26.  ubidubi

      The last time my mother told me to fuck off was the first time and it was in my apartment on a rainy christmas eve and i showed her the door

      August 13, 2008 at 10:53 am

      reply arrow
    • 27.  sarah

      On the contrary, you can tell that this mother/child team is actually very close. They have fun joking with eachother and they’re not afraid to be honest. Well adjusted family FTW! lol

      August 13, 2008 at 12:06 pm

      reply arrow
    • 28.  No Problem

      No worries your mom can stay with me just like last time!

      August 13, 2008 at 5:12 pm

      reply arrow
    • 29.  Eric D.

      oh man! i think i love your mom.

      August 13, 2008 at 6:57 pm

      reply arrow
    • 30.  Boob Biter

      I’m calling – Photoshopped on this one

      August 14, 2008 at 4:23 am

      reply arrow
    • 31.  To Eric D.

      Why Think about loving his mom. For $5 you really can!

      August 14, 2008 at 9:13 am

      reply arrow
    • 32.  Teri

      Just happened to “stumble” by and read your little Passive-Aggressive Face conversation… being a mom myself…. and putting up with 18 years of raising two kids, wow I can’t believe your mom was polite enough to only say FO. Suck it up for a few days, she put up with you… I’m sure you weren’t exactly a dream. Just guessing.

      August 14, 2008 at 10:54 am

      reply arrow
    • 33.  Ross

      RE: Teri – #32:

      Just happened to “stumble” by and read your little comment… being a son myself…. and being 18 years old with a very close relationship with my mother myself; all I can say is, wow I can’t believe are self-righteous enough to believe you know exactly how their relationship works. Suck it up, it’s different from your relationship with your children Just guessing.

      this sounds like a dialogue me and my mum would have when I move out if she ever wanted to come round. Me and my mother have the same very dry sense of humour as each other. I’m sure if the writer really felt that strongly, s/he would have just said “no” flat out. as it looks, it was quite obviously jokey, otherwise, I doubt “fuck off” would have been followed by “love you”. Please, Teri, get off your high horse.

      August 14, 2008 at 7:04 pm

      reply arrow
      • 33.1  Terry

        Tell her Ross! You’re a good egg.

        February 22, 2011 at 11:52 am

        reply arrow
    • 34.  sarah

      RE: Ross – #33

      AMEN!! lol

      August 14, 2008 at 7:19 pm

      reply arrow
    • 35.  Joyce

      yoo! dat shit if fucked up!
      haha! mad funny =)

      August 14, 2008 at 9:24 pm

      reply arrow
    • 36.  Stephanie

      If my mom wanted to stay at my place when she came – it would fine, though trying. We love each other, but we both need our space. She generally gets a hotel room – she has the resources to do. Much easier than sharing my small space.
      And I have emailed links for hotels nearby to her. Too much together time and we’d be at our wits end. Both of us.

      August 14, 2008 at 9:37 pm

      reply arrow
    • 37.  Trevor


      August 14, 2008 at 9:43 pm

      reply arrow
    • 38.  rprebel

      That’s cool you have a laid back relationship like that. My mom is the same way. I’ve been told to fuck off more than once. And I have returned the favor, on rare occasion. At the risk of sounding like Buster Bluth…mom rocks.

      August 15, 2008 at 2:42 am

      reply arrow
    • 39.  Satangreavsie

      My Mum’s dead, so she can’t tell me to fuck off , or stay at my house anymore.

      Grab these opportunities while you can.

      August 15, 2008 at 8:52 am

      reply arrow
    • 40.  Skwirral

      Well, technically, the son wasn’t “welcome to stay” in the aforementioned uterus. He was pretty much put there, by her, and more or less forced to stay there on penalty of his death, of which the he had no choice. The following 17 years, she was required to provide for him to the best of her ability by law, so it’s not exactly like she was granting him some great boon in that, either. I don’t like when moms try to use the old uterus guilt trip, because the offspring doesn’t really have a choice in the matter.

      August 15, 2008 at 8:53 am

      reply arrow
    • 41.  j

      Skwirral – “I didn’t ask to be born” is the spoiled child’s refrain. Life is a GIFT which mothers/fathers give to their children without them having to ask for it. How many kids reject gifts of cash/cars/toys they didn’t ask for? If you had the choice would you choose not to exist? There is an easy way to fix it if you woulnd’t. Get over yourself.

      August 15, 2008 at 9:13 am

      reply arrow
    • 42.  cheeky

      Jesus, all of you who have gotten pissed off need to chill out. Just enjoy the laugh, for chrissakes.

      August 15, 2008 at 1:07 pm

      reply arrow
    • 43.  TimBuk2


      We you raised by squirrels? Just curious about the name.

      August 15, 2008 at 2:32 pm

      reply arrow
    • 44.  Bill Vincent

      I love my mother too, but no way could I handle her for five days straight. My mother knows this, I’d probably drive her nuts, too. She’d never ask. :) Great post! Mucho lulz!

      August 15, 2008 at 10:06 pm

      reply arrow
    • 45.  evpstud

      Another good comeback would be like

      “You’re the idiot that never charged me any rent. Get a hotel because you can’t afford my place.”

      August 18, 2008 at 9:15 am

      reply arrow
    • 46.  Mel

      Wow, way too many people are bringing their own dysfunctional family baggage to the comments here lol. Hostile parents and hostile kids. Gotta love it.

      I wish I had the kind of relationship with my mom that you have with yours. Thanks for a great laugh :D.

      August 19, 2008 at 5:37 pm

      reply arrow
    • 47.  dev

      lmao me and my mom talk to each other like this =P

      August 20, 2008 at 12:13 am

      reply arrow
    • 48.  Zabimaru

      I just don’t understand all the people who say that he’s a prick for preferring that she gets a hotel room. Seriously, we have no idea how small his apartment is. Most young, single people live in tiny apartments to save a bit of money, and he could very well have a one bedroom studio. Sharing an apartment is one thing – sharing a bedroom another.

      Besides, the dynamics between parent and child change as the child becomes an adult. Even though they might grow very close, like these two obviously have, it usually becomes much harder to stand being around each other for long stretches of time. It was the same with my dad and my grandparents; he loved them, couldn’t stand them.

      So, to all the judgmental pricks out there picking on him, stop and think for a while first. Based on their little exchange they obviously have a close relationship and I’m sure he loves her, and he did say it was ok for her to stay with him if she really wanted to, but there might very well be reasons for him not preferring that.

      Oh, and this was funny.

      August 20, 2008 at 4:50 am

      reply arrow
    • 49.  guy

      Sounds exactly like my relationship with my mom.

      August 25, 2008 at 2:06 am

      reply arrow
    • 50.  Nasta

      See son, I’m not the only one who just seems not to love his child.

      September 4, 2008 at 8:15 am

      reply arrow
    • 51.  BlackstarAM

      TOP NOTCH! I love when my mom tells me to fuck off….makes her even THAT much more lovable.

      September 4, 2008 at 11:53 am

      reply arrow
    • 52.  Poster

      I love the dialogue ma’s IM has inspired. To speak to speculation:
      * Yes, I live in a tiny one bedder, and most nights share it with my boyfriend (NB: I, too, am a boy)
      * Yes, she and my dad (they’re both coming, folks) have the means to cover hotels
      * Yes, we will enjoy each other’s company FAR more when we can go home to our own spaces at the end of the day
      We have an awesome relationship. Being able to lovingly and jokingly tell each other to FO is something that I treasure and hope to have with my own kids one day. Rock on, mom, just rock on around the corner and I’ll catch you at happy hour.

      September 6, 2008 at 4:39 am

      reply arrow
    • 53.  kellyg

      Maybe there is a very good reason why you would’t want a mom who tells you to FO to stay at your place for a few days…

      September 8, 2008 at 2:07 pm

      reply arrow
    • 54.  Arg

      This summer both my mother and my boyfriend’s mother came to visit. (As a side note, my boyfriend is literally twice my age, hence my mother is slightly younger than him and his mother is my grandmother’s age…) When his mom showed up he gave her our bedroom (which she EXPECTED) while he and I had to sleep on the couch and our dogs got banished to the kitchen. When she found out that I was refusing to let my mother have my bedroom when she visited, his mother was basically outraged. She gave me the whole “she gave birth to you ect ect” speach. I had the last laugh because when I told my mom about all this she said, “HELL NO I would NEVER sleep in your bed… I’m fine on the couch. God knows what you all DO in there…”

      Love my Ma!

      September 12, 2008 at 9:04 am

      reply arrow
    • 55.  berryjo

      Oh, my father-in-law hates to even be in our bedroom, let alone sleep in our bed! Before we had a second bedroom he actually preferred to sleep on our hardwood floors than take our bed! Nothing I said would convince him otherwise. He was clearly weirded out by the notion of sleeping where his son had so many good times.

      September 12, 2008 at 1:31 pm

      reply arrow
    • 56.  car cheap insurance liability

      car cheap insurance liability…

      subtitled roaster lightweight grinding …

      September 16, 2008 at 1:02 am

      reply arrow
    • 57.  violetaqua

      As a mum with grown sons, I can totally feel the humor and bittersweet recognition of love with rejection that moms feel coming head on with their kid’s independence. There is a kind of, Yeah, I know I am an obligation… bt can’t you pretend you want me around type of feeling… Still, this mom, and son have a good relationship… he calls her on her attempts at manipulation, she tells him to fuck off and dealwith it.. all done with love by the way.

      September 23, 2008 at 7:28 pm

      reply arrow
    • 58.  Deb

      Wait! Why is everybody dumping on the daughter? In about 10-15 years, my daughter will make a similar offer to me, b/c she knows my husband would always rather stay in a hotel.

      I thought it seemed like an attempt by the daughter to say, “You’d probably be more comfy in a hotel, but of course you can stay with me.”

      The whole exchange made me laugh out loud and want to get to know this pair.

      September 28, 2008 at 7:58 pm

      reply arrow
    • 59.  Dray

      Ahh, this sounds like how my mother and I talk to each other. We make jabs at each other all the time. Why? Because apparently unlike SOME people, we are actually close enough that it doesn’t hurt either of our feelings.

      Those that get pissed off about it need to lighten up. Seriously.

      And Deb? Go back up and read Poster’s reply, a few comments up (#52) if you’ve not already, before you assume that it’s a mother-daughter conversation. (I don’t mean to rag on you for it, but sometimes I can’t help it.)

      November 1, 2008 at 6:36 pm

      reply arrow
    • 60.  effie

      so parents have kids so they can extort and guilt trip them later?


      families are messed up.

      and take a look at the language being used in these posts.

      someone said they hope the poster is cut out of the will— what, moms are only good for money once they are dead? what kind of thinking is THAT?

      what would really be great is if parents could just appreciate their children for who they have grown up to be. whenever i see my family, it’s nothing but criticism masquerading as “helpfulness”
      ie. you’ll find the “one”

      whenever i tell some kind of story about what im up to, it’s always turned into an opportunity for them to impart some old school wisdom i never asked for- it goes from a conversation to a lecture about my life in a snap. and never mind the often racist, sexist, heterosexist overtones involved.

      so when adults dont want their parents around for that long, maybe some of the BS parents pull on their kids has everything to do with it.

      just sayin.

      February 21, 2009 at 7:25 pm

      reply arrow
    • 61.  kelE

      Effie- I am sorry you’re having such a rough time with your parents.

      February 22, 2009 at 8:40 am

      reply arrow
    • 62.  bert bogert

      this mom seems like a massive douchebag!

      March 15, 2009 at 9:07 pm

      reply arrow
    • 63.  Heather

      OMG this is EXACTLY the type of conversation i would have with my mother

      April 13, 2009 at 9:28 am

      reply arrow
    • 64.  Mandy

      Selfish really.

      I couldn’t imagine telling my mom to hit a hotel while she came to visit me. I would be happy to open my home to her. For Pete’s sakes she raised me. What is one week going to do for you that is worth your mother’s happiness for a few days? Suck it up and don’t be so selfish.

      GO MOM!!

      April 13, 2009 at 9:50 am

      reply arrow
    • 65.  Me

      Hahahhaha, that’s awesome. My mom would say something like that, except without the FO. lol. :)

      May 5, 2009 at 10:30 pm

      reply arrow
    • 66.  feistyone

      Posts 53 through 64, please read the son’s explanation at #52!!! Living in a tiny place myself and not having a pull out couch, I’d have to tell my parents to stay at a nearby hotel…then they would get a real breakfast and good coffee, too!

      May 5, 2009 at 11:56 pm

      reply arrow
    • 67.  Marcia

      My mom would have taken it to a new level and talked about how she pushed me out of her vagina and how I sucked her teat for 6 months…she wouldn’t have been happy to just say I lived in her uterus, but that is my mom…and yes, she would have told me to eff off too.

      August 25, 2009 at 7:26 pm

      reply arrow
    • 68.  LiLi

      geeez you’re all very bitter! this is totally a joke!!!!

      November 24, 2009 at 11:52 pm

      reply arrow
    • 69.  Gabriel

      to which you should respond: well I guess if I was that much trouble you should have just aborted me. -sign off- lol

      it’s funny if she’s joking but I don’t tolerate that guilt trip bs

      December 31, 2009 at 11:26 am

      reply arrow
      • 69.1  Gracyn

        I guess finding useful, reliable information on the itrnneet isn’t hopeless after all.

        October 24, 2011 at 7:45 am

        reply arrow
      • 69.2  bcshlemh

        JzEsS3 caqpzqgelsal

        October 26, 2011 at 6:01 am

        reply arrow
    • 70.  Gabriel

      and parents are obligated to do a good job raising you without expecting anything back at all. you don’t have babies for your own sake, and if you do that’s selfish. they chose to have a kid, they should take some personal responsibility and not try to take advantage of their children by acting like the children owe them anything. adults don’t relate like that. tragically a lot of people are psychologically messed up because their parents were immature, then their kids go and have kids and do the same thing.

      December 31, 2009 at 11:30 am

      reply arrow
    • 71.  Ana Lucia

      the mom is totally right’ yes the parents are obligated to raise kids w/o expecting anything in return but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give them anything in return because we can never repay our parents for what they have done for us anyway
      the kid is a jerk for asking their mom to stay at a hotel ughhhh
      it’s your mom not your friend
      and letting your mom stay at your house is in no way enough to repay one iota of what her mom gave her and she still doesn’t want to
      that is rotten i’m sorry
      it’s not good to guilt trip kids but still….

      January 11, 2010 at 6:37 pm

      reply arrow
    • 72.  CalRepublic

      Poster: I’ll repeat what #17 said: “… you don’t deserve her”

      It’s very selfish to tell someone that loves you and comes to visit you that they can stay in a hotel because they have the means to. Money shouldn’t factor in this. Even in a one bedroom, for god sakes it’s 5 days! Sleep on the couch!

      February 28, 2011 at 11:58 pm

      reply arrow
    • 73.  CalRepublic

      #68 I must have missed the joke, this was very sad. I feel for the poor mom.

      March 1, 2011 at 12:01 am

      reply arrow

Love, Mom