Mom: So when we come to Sydney can we stay at yours?
Mom: Hello?
Me: Oh. Sure. Well, actually there are a number of awesome hotels just a two minute walk from my house. I’ve just emailed you a bunch of links. Have a look! Am happy to book any of them for you. But, yeah, of course you are welcome to stay at mine, if you really want to.
Me: Mom?
Mom: You were welcome to stay in my uterus for nine months, and then my house for 17 years. But I understand, a week at your apartment might be a bit … much. 
Me: Don’t you passive-aggressive-smile-face-ME, woman.
Mom: Fuck off. Love you - M.
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This is so funny…I’ve had a conversations with my mom telling me to fuck off….
No there’s a woman who’s not afraid to speak her mind !
i could totally see me and my mom having this same conversation. lol
OMG! How hilarious!!!
Very funny indeed. Guilt trip ftw!
How do we rate this post? THIS is my favorite!
It would have been funnier if the child had written back “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN!”
Classic response to Mom guilt!
Best post ever! Wicked funny.
Bwahahahaha! My new favorite.
Now this is a cool mom.
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Come on… let your mom stay at your house. Sheesh! Sometimes it’s tough to handle and you’re afraid if she opens her mouth even one more time you will scream… but later, you will not regret it.
Wow! Sounds like these two don’t get along. I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams telling my Mom that she should stay in a motel rather than stay at my place for a few days. Then again she allowed me to come home with 2 little children when my husband dumped me so I guess it is what goes around comes around!
We actually get along great. But seriously? Five nights of ‘together time’? Nuh uh ~ not going to happen!
I have read this one several times…it still makes me laugh.. I will have to remember to use this in years to come!
AHHH!!! I LOVE THIS MOM!!!
Seriously, this belongs on passiveaggressivenotes.com. Best website EVER!!!
This is the BEST post EVER. That’s a mom who keeps it real!
POSTER : I hope she cuts you out of the will….You don’t deserve her…
As a Mom I’ll be using the 9 months / 18 years guilt trip when the opportunity presents itself.
Simply hilarious. I can see it being done as an SNL skit.
Just let your mum stay at your place, don’t be a prick.
fuck-off…love you
JOKER!!!!!!! ur a bit mean to not let ur mum stay at ur house but i can see were ur coming from
My son in San Franciso sent this to me. It is so “us”. This is always how his side of the conversation sounds. I’m just not a quick thinking as this mom…with the exception of FO.
haha uterus.
The motel ad next to the post adds that extra touch.
The last time my mother told me to fuck off was the first time and it was in my apartment on a rainy christmas eve and i showed her the door
On the contrary, you can tell that this mother/child team is actually very close. They have fun joking with eachother and they’re not afraid to be honest. Well adjusted family FTW! lol
No worries your mom can stay with me just like last time!
oh man! i think i love your mom.
I’m calling - Photoshopped on this one
Why Think about loving his mom. For $5 you really can!
Just happened to “stumble” by and read your little Passive-Aggressive Face conversation… being a mom myself…. and putting up with 18 years of raising two kids, wow I can’t believe your mom was polite enough to only say FO. Suck it up for a few days, she put up with you… I’m sure you weren’t exactly a dream. Just guessing.
RE: Teri - #32:
Just happened to “stumble” by and read your little comment… being a son myself…. and being 18 years old with a very close relationship with my mother myself; all I can say is, wow I can’t believe are self-righteous enough to believe you know exactly how their relationship works. Suck it up, it’s different from your relationship with your children Just guessing.
this sounds like a dialogue me and my mum would have when I move out if she ever wanted to come round. Me and my mother have the same very dry sense of humour as each other. I’m sure if the writer really felt that strongly, s/he would have just said “no” flat out. as it looks, it was quite obviously jokey, otherwise, I doubt “fuck off” would have been followed by “love you”. Please, Teri, get off your high horse.
RE: Ross - #33
AMEN!! lol
yoo! dat shit if fucked up!
haha! mad funny =)
If my mom wanted to stay at my place when she came - it would fine, though trying. We love each other, but we both need our space. She generally gets a hotel room - she has the resources to do. Much easier than sharing my small space.
And I have emailed links for hotels nearby to her. Too much together time and we’d be at our wits end. Both of us.
Photoshopped.
That’s cool you have a laid back relationship like that. My mom is the same way. I’ve been told to fuck off more than once. And I have returned the favor, on rare occasion. At the risk of sounding like Buster Bluth…mom rocks.
My Mum’s dead, so she can’t tell me to fuck off , or stay at my house anymore.
Grab these opportunities while you can.
Well, technically, the son wasn’t “welcome to stay” in the aforementioned uterus. He was pretty much put there, by her, and more or less forced to stay there on penalty of his death, of which the he had no choice. The following 17 years, she was required to provide for him to the best of her ability by law, so it’s not exactly like she was granting him some great boon in that, either. I don’t like when moms try to use the old uterus guilt trip, because the offspring doesn’t really have a choice in the matter.
Skwirral - “I didn’t ask to be born” is the spoiled child’s refrain. Life is a GIFT which mothers/fathers give to their children without them having to ask for it. How many kids reject gifts of cash/cars/toys they didn’t ask for? If you had the choice would you choose not to exist? There is an easy way to fix it if you woulnd’t. Get over yourself.
Jesus, all of you who have gotten pissed off need to chill out. Just enjoy the laugh, for chrissakes.
Skwirral:
We you raised by squirrels? Just curious about the name.
Peace
I love my mother too, but no way could I handle her for five days straight. My mother knows this, I’d probably drive her nuts, too. She’d never ask.
Great post! Mucho lulz!
Another good comeback would be like
“You’re the idiot that never charged me any rent. Get a hotel because you can’t afford my place.”
Wow, way too many people are bringing their own dysfunctional family baggage to the comments here lol. Hostile parents and hostile kids. Gotta love it.
I wish I had the kind of relationship with my mom that you have with yours. Thanks for a great laugh :D.
lmao me and my mom talk to each other like this =P
I just don’t understand all the people who say that he’s a prick for preferring that she gets a hotel room. Seriously, we have no idea how small his apartment is. Most young, single people live in tiny apartments to save a bit of money, and he could very well have a one bedroom studio. Sharing an apartment is one thing – sharing a bedroom another.
Besides, the dynamics between parent and child change as the child becomes an adult. Even though they might grow very close, like these two obviously have, it usually becomes much harder to stand being around each other for long stretches of time. It was the same with my dad and my grandparents; he loved them, couldn’t stand them.
So, to all the judgmental pricks out there picking on him, stop and think for a while first. Based on their little exchange they obviously have a close relationship and I’m sure he loves her, and he did say it was ok for her to stay with him if she really wanted to, but there might very well be reasons for him not preferring that.
Oh, and this was funny.
Sounds exactly like my relationship with my mom.
See son, I’m not the only one who just seems not to love his child.
TOP NOTCH! I love when my mom tells me to fuck off….makes her even THAT much more lovable.
I love the dialogue ma’s IM has inspired. To speak to speculation:
* Yes, I live in a tiny one bedder, and most nights share it with my boyfriend (NB: I, too, am a boy)
* Yes, she and my dad (they’re both coming, folks) have the means to cover hotels
* Yes, we will enjoy each other’s company FAR more when we can go home to our own spaces at the end of the day
We have an awesome relationship. Being able to lovingly and jokingly tell each other to FO is something that I treasure and hope to have with my own kids one day. Rock on, mom, just rock on around the corner and I’ll catch you at happy hour.
Maybe there is a very good reason why you would’t want a mom who tells you to FO to stay at your place for a few days…
This summer both my mother and my boyfriend’s mother came to visit. (As a side note, my boyfriend is literally twice my age, hence my mother is slightly younger than him and his mother is my grandmother’s age…) When his mom showed up he gave her our bedroom (which she EXPECTED) while he and I had to sleep on the couch and our dogs got banished to the kitchen. When she found out that I was refusing to let my mother have my bedroom when she visited, his mother was basically outraged. She gave me the whole “she gave birth to you ect ect” speach. I had the last laugh because when I told my mom about all this she said, “HELL NO I would NEVER sleep in your bed… I’m fine on the couch. God knows what you all DO in there…”
Love my Ma!
Oh, my father-in-law hates to even be in our bedroom, let alone sleep in our bed! Before we had a second bedroom he actually preferred to sleep on our hardwood floors than take our bed! Nothing I said would convince him otherwise. He was clearly weirded out by the notion of sleeping where his son had so many good times.
car cheap insurance liability…
subtitled roaster lightweight grinding …
As a mum with grown sons, I can totally feel the humor and bittersweet recognition of love with rejection that moms feel coming head on with their kid’s independence. There is a kind of, Yeah, I know I am an obligation… bt can’t you pretend you want me around type of feeling… Still, this mom, and son have a good relationship… he calls her on her attempts at manipulation, she tells him to fuck off and dealwith it.. all done with love by the way.
Wait! Why is everybody dumping on the daughter? In about 10-15 years, my daughter will make a similar offer to me, b/c she knows my husband would always rather stay in a hotel.
I thought it seemed like an attempt by the daughter to say, “You’d probably be more comfy in a hotel, but of course you can stay with me.”
The whole exchange made me laugh out loud and want to get to know this pair.
Ahh, this sounds like how my mother and I talk to each other. We make jabs at each other all the time. Why? Because apparently unlike SOME people, we are actually close enough that it doesn’t hurt either of our feelings.
Those that get pissed off about it need to lighten up. Seriously.
And Deb? Go back up and read Poster’s reply, a few comments up (#52) if you’ve not already, before you assume that it’s a mother-daughter conversation. (I don’t mean to rag on you for it, but sometimes I can’t help it.)