mom: IS THIS THE NEW GIRLFRIEND???? SHES CUTE
me: yes, it is
me: and she’s jewish!
mom: SHE LOOKS IT I WAS GOING TO ASK YAY. SHE LOOKS NICER THAN THE OTHER ONES…
me: MOM!
mom: OK PRETEND I DIDNT SAY THAT. I DONT EVEN WANT TO MEET HER BECAUSE YOULL JUST BREAK UP SOON ANYWAY
me: mom!!
mom: HAHA ENOUGH FOR TONIGHT IM GOING NIGHT NIGHT
mom: ACTUALLY SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR SISTER AND YOUR AUNT [redacted]!
me: …
mom: ONLY PRETTIER
mom: WHATS HER NAME AGAIN?
me: [redacted]
mom: VERY VERY VERRRRRRY JEWISH! YOUR DAD WILL BE SO HAPPY
WHAT’S UP WITH MOM WRITING IN ALL CAPS? MY FATHER DOES THIS, AS IF E-MAILS WERE TELEGRAMS.
August 13, 2008 at 2:03 pm
i’m dying to know what this very very verrrrrry jewish name is…miriam cohen? esther goldberg?
August 13, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Sarah Feinstein!
August 13, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I like that the pro-Semitic message is so strong as to promote incest.
Am I the only who thinks it’s deeply disturbing that this person is dating someone who looks just like the person’s own sister and aunt?
Of course, I’m a Jew who’s been shacked up with the same shaygitz for 18 years, I’m sure this mom wouldn’t trust my judgment on dating matters.
August 13, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Maybe she doesn’t look like a family member, but the mom thinks she does.
August 14, 2008 at 4:52 am
Oh c’mon — how about not wanting to meet her because “you’ll just break up with her soon anyway.” I don’t know if that is more universal as a comment from moms or as an action from sons/daughters…but so true.
August 14, 2008 at 11:44 am
I just couldn’t keep within the religion. Way too cultish for me. For a mother to get THAT excited over the fact that she’s jewish and LOOKS it?! Man. I had to sit down with Mom and have a talk one day. “Mom, It just might not happen, so let’s get the grieving out now. Oh and by the way, I don’t believe in organized religion as it is anyway”
She moved on. Now all she cares about is grandkids. (Of course she can’t help throwing in: “they’ll be jewish anyway since you were born jewish no matter what you say.” I let her have that one).
August 14, 2008 at 2:43 pm
It would be funny if the family wasn’t Jewish, they just wanted their son to date a girl who LOOKS jewish. it’d be the fodder of sitcoms.
September 9, 2008 at 1:33 pm