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OK
So I’m still being a mother……. it’s you’re a contraction of you are , not your which is a possessive pronoun I only mention this because I love you Of course this could be some type of e-mail shorthand of which I am woefully ignorant and …… you’re….. not alone in using it.
How long are your feet?
Me: i’m going to need to take that dining room table off your hands this weekend. hope that’s ok.
Mom: that’s fine. do you need it for something?
Me: Elizabeth and i are having a party next weekend and we need it for beer pong.
Mom: what????
Me: that game i just explained to you with the cups of beer and the ping pong ball….
Mom: oh that is disgusting. not very lady like.
Mom: you better use a tablecloth!
Heather said if you are only eating 1000 calories a day and not losing weight, it is probably because your body thinks it is starving and is holding onto the weight for your self preservation. She suggests more calories are needed. She is on 1300 to 1600. Love, MOm
Mom: I know and when you are waiting for somehting like that the times drags even more. Cheer up, you have a nice week-end coming up (unlike me).
Me: Yes, it is true that you have a gruesome weekend ahead of you. That is too bad! You will be very happy in your freshlypaintedhousewithsouthernexposure though.
Mom: trudat. It most certainly will be clutch. Lovemomdude.
Me: What the heck does clutch mean?
Mom: cool, awsome, shit hot.
Me: Where or how did you come across this term?
Mom: Your cousin. Do you like it?
Me: Oh my god, I am going to have to kill her
Did I ask you what you are doing for Easter?
P.S. I found the perfect underwear.
well i did something i thought i would never do again – though i knew it would happen sooner or later……………………………i told someone
I LOVED HIM…………………..
well, maybe i’ll vacuum b/c the apartment is driving me NUTS and i will not be able to concentrate with the messiness and this class. i’m going to the farm to water and mow later. it will help with the stress.
i am soooooooooooooooooooooooo glad you found a more peaceful way to travel to/from work.
life is short. ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST.
i am so very proud of you.
love,momma xooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Mom: What are you doing for fun?
Me: I was going to see an outside movie with friends yesterday, but it got canceled so we went to a bar.
Mom: Is that what you do, go to bars?
Me: Uh, that’s what there is in Williamsburg.
Mom: Are you becoming a heavy drinker?
Me: I couldn’t afford that.
Mom: That’s the reason you’re not?
Just got back from Chicago!! We had an excellent time!!! We went bra shopping where Oprah gets all of her bras. Oprah is def. rich I only bought 2 and had a $300 bill. She should give them away on her show. Anyway, the woman at the store measured me and told me that I was a D!!! So you may now stop blaming me for your chest or lack there of I should say! I think you must have gotten that from your father’s side! You will be so happy when you are 80 and those suckers are still purky!!
Love you!
a gentleman does not chase TALE… he chases tail and then tells the tale……. please fix it……I didn’t even read the entire entry…couldn’t believe the first line had such a shabby mistake……when I return tonight , I will read both entries……vagina was spelled correctly, HA, HA,
Hey, I know you are in love.. but what about us???? We look forward to hearing from you…don’t stop calling us….
Samantha says she doesn’t want to snuggle. Says she’s a dog and if you want to snuggle you should be looking for a two legged snuggler. Says her “mom” would certainly appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her biological clock is tick, tick, ticking.
See you Saturday.
I will send cookies in this box as well, so look out for it ! Probably by Friday,ok?
I wish I could see the room. Will you take some pics and send them on email? ( OR i could get limited facebook, and let you do this this way…. LET me know!)
Tell all the homeys that i miss them too. I hope Matthew does ok.
I love you so much! And it is killing me to miss you…. I didn’t think it would be this bad, since you have been gone so much this last year, but I was wrong…
LOVE YOU! mom
Mom: Are you watching the MTV Awards?
Me: Nah, don’t really care about them much. Thanks though.
Mom: Oh, well the Pussy Cat Folks are performing. You’re missing quite a show! ;)
um I was thinking, if we have no tv cable like thingy, will we have tv for dvd? do you have a combo vcr? I still have good vcr movies like everafter. I have the new spider man on dvd. I’m gonna go do my hair. have escrow tomorrow, dentist, store, vet for dog pills, need my hair done. I got a brand new oxygen machine! Oh forgot to ask YOU ARE you UPP STAIRSS or DOWN? Gosh I hope its DOWN!!! Later. oh, I think I had an angina attack today, or else it was some kind of stress attack. Blondie was in here and she said what is wrong?? I told her and she was like you need to go to the hospital and dumb stuff like that. I said noo. I just need to get rid of all this stress, it is overwhelming for me. so probably just stress like in that movie, hyper ventilation from stress. the jack nicholson movie, somethings gotta give. It’s even on right now!!! Lol. Well, gonna go and try to do something constructive. Take care and talk to me soon, k? email or phone, whatever, let me know how you are K? MOM
Hi Darling. Michael Phelps shaves his pits.
M
Mom: So how did it go with the tax man and the internet people and the plumber?
Me: Umm, I didn’t make it, I don’t understand it and I delayed it, respectively.
Mom: Please try to get by on your pretty face for as long as you can, darling, because … well … because I think that’s a very good idea.
Me: Thanks, bitch.
Mom: You’re welcome. And it won’t last for much longer, so get what you can now. Thankfully you don’t look like your father. MX
I made zack get up yesterday and clean up all of his stuff and pack it up. it was all over the living room and the houskeepers came. he said i kicked him out of the house. this isn’t true. he doesn’t want to live here if he has to pick up his guitar hero. mom
Mom: Great news!
We still have the Snakes ‘n Ladders board game with the kids who do bad things and get punished or who do good things and get rewarded.
Also: We still have Mystery Game!!!
Also, we have a Bert & Ernie puzzle as well as 2 Madeline puzzles!!
Hurray!!
Me: Is this your way of putting a positive spin on having thrown out the rest of our childhood games and puzzles?
Mom: i was so mad @ dad cause he had a swearing meltdown in the car; he dropped me off @ pig to get a few things & he went to get coffee. when i was done (it was slow cause they had no cashier so the checker didn’t know what she was doing, but I was patient) and got in the car he had a fit, his coffee was cold, if he knew i was going to buy more than one thing he’d have made me go alone. SO I got home and wrote “you suck” in lipstick on the bathroom mirror AND on his tribune daily crossword…it was usuck across and crabass down…it worked quite well…i’m not going to take that verbal abuse so i have ways of making myself feel better: leave notes and clean and make lots of noise while he’s reading the paper. Sometimes it’s so much fun being married
Backstory: My mom LOVED Bennigans. We would go to Bennigans for any and all occasions. Since she heard that they went bankrupt and would be closing nationally, she has been completely devastated. It is all she can talk about, even on my 21st birthday!
Happy Happy Birthday to you on this special day
Happy Happy Birthday that’s all I have to say
Happy Happy Birthday may all your dreams come true
Happy Happy Birthday from Mommy to you
Benningans RIP 2008
