I can see that you have been outbid on a Lacoste Jacket, and have a bid in for a slim skinny jumper.

My money is not yours, so is it really OK, ask yourself?   You have bought on ebay a teeshirt and jacket (the duck one), which would have fitted the average toddler, so it seems to me you are better off going to a clothes shop.  You may live in a consumer capital of the world, but canny consumers can find clothes at the right price, especially in such a capital.  I know you know what you like to wear, and I am glad that you do, but one advantage of being a student is that almost anything is allowed, tattered torn, whatever!

The Wedding videos are great.  Dad enjoyed watching his monolog – he said he didn’t realize he looked so much like Jerry Lewis.

Dad gave the dog a bath – said he didn’t see any fleas, but I used the flea stuff this morning.  The reason the spray didn’t work is because it’s for cats – he says it was in the dog aisle and there’s no difference between the 2 species – I told him “just about 60 pounds” , skin type and fur- but I don’t think he was convinced – even – why do they have different kinds of food didn’t do it, so I just shrugged!!!

LTB,
Ma

Backstory: All three children the e-mail was sent to no longer live at home and are of legal drinking age.

Children,

While cleaning the area under the garage I came across a disney backpack with six or so full bottles of michelob light beer bottles. I have the chilling in the fridge now.
love
mom

SaRAH JUST INFORMED ME I ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. WELL SHE ANNOYS ME TOO! GOOD NIGHT K Dinners ready. Mom

Can you teach me how to use the elliptical over the phone?  I want to get wild and kick up my workout.

This is one of those “Are you ok?” kind of emails. I really felt bad for you yesterday, having to experience the incompetent post office system and most importantly a shortage of underwear! No washing machine and no clean underwear can really send a girl over the edge. I hope by now you are in the clean undies club again and that your stupid building finishes remodeling the laundry room. OMG I would die without my laundry room!

Lots of Love and big hugs,
Mom

I am cleaning out drawers today and came across a handwritten list of “car rules” from 1992. Jennie you would have been 5 and Dana would of been 3. I thought you’d get a kick out of them based on your camp and babysitting experiences. What fun we must have had!!

Car Rules developed 12/1992
Effective Immediately

NO singing unless everyone agrees.

When someone is bugging another person they should stop.

NO screams.

NO spitting.

NO hitting.

NO touching other people.

NO touching the middle space.

NO grabbing another person’s toys.

NO yelling.

Love from your Mom who still loves you despite some obviously challenging car trips. xoxoxo

I know it is trivial but the Register has not had Dear Abby for about 3 weeks.  Do you know why?

I suppose the search goes on.  I’m still looking for a carry on bag/tote that is big enough, nice enough, and the right color!  We might need a Christmas trip to NYC!

***** is excited to come see you tomorrow.

i DON’T KNOW HOW i GOT ON iTALICS AND CAPS.  tHIS SUCKS.

lOVE YOU!

mOM

OMG…This really could be a win…win situation.  Go and see that house across the street from your sister.  If the downstairs is private enough for you (and me)…I could move into the downstairs and you & family upstairs.  I could give you $50,000.00+ and pay you rent and you could pay me for babysitting…which would probably even out.  I could pay some utilities…we could just work it out!!!  I could even work at Jerimiah’s office…maybe 10-12 hours a week.  It would be much closer to Cary, which is very expensive…and the traffic.  Most IMPORTANT…you, your sister & myself could have cocktails at 5:00 PM every day…WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear all:
Check out the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC. She is SO cool. She is Rhodes Scholar, Lesbian, AIDS activist who stumbled into television and radio broadcasting while working in AIDs in prisons…..and she is so smart and funny and warm.. I think I am in love with her, even though i’m not gay, and oh yeah, also I am already married…but, oh well, everyone seems to be in love with her. Watch her show for a really intelligent nightly update.
mom..

We enjoyed the Dam tour. It was damn interesting.  OOOPS! That was a curse word.  The history was fascinating.  Then we went to Vegas.  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Let’s see, we arrived at our non-casino hotel in the afternoon.   Daddy returned the rental car.  We walked to Applebee’s and had dinner.  It was CRAZY DELICIOUS. Then TV and lights out at 7:20.  We are pathetic, aren’t we?

Love,

Mom

Your room looks nice – make sure you check the heating unit doesn’t get blocked by the sheets. Your bed looks good higher, what’s under it?

Dad says you wish you had a rug. Hmmm, time for an ITYS*.

love you,
Mom

*Mom lingo for I told you so.

Do you know what a “bong” is?  I’m reading a police report that came in and have no idea what that is.