When you get a chance, ask your dad about how he almost killed Al Gore. It’s a good story.
-Mom
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"I asked myself the same question many a time during my years of teaching teenage boys! Poor Mom and poor Mr. Harrison.
(No, I never had X is a Penishead written on a desk, thank goodness, but I did have to throw out a dozen textbooks at the end of the year at one point because just about every picture had been, ahem, similarly embellished.)"— Anne
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Please ask about the story and share it!
September 7, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I’m the poster’s mom. In an effort to speed up the clarification –
Apparently, Mr. Gore got out of his car faster than his secret service guys had in a hotel driveway. The poster’s dad was pulling through the same driveway and had to stomp on the breaks to avoid hitting Mr. Gore. Apparently, one of the secret service guys shrugged apologetically to my husband and another glared at both of them.
It was just one of those cutesy, provocatively worded things that I am compelled to send from time to time. Her dad has also been stuck in an elevator with Carol Channing, hidden an in-flight cookie from Robin Williams (who had co-opted his little bowl of 1st-class nuts), told Carl Rove to “pound sand” and accidentally had breakfast with Muhammad Ali. It really is like living with Forrest Gump sometimes.
September 7, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Poster’s Mom, you may face anger that you admit to reading this site, posting on this site, and thinking yourself cute and provacative…be forewarned!
September 7, 2008 at 8:06 pm
I know, I know. Shame on women over 40 for still living and breathing. We’ve heard it all before.
I think of myself as neither cute nor provocative; however, I am quite capable of writing in many ways.
Rest assured, all ye young people who believe they rule the world, I tuned in because a young person invited me to do so. We’ll all survive whether I’m approved of or not!
Cheers!
September 7, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Well I certainly approve of you – for what it’s worth????
September 8, 2008 at 2:52 am
Man… how does Poster’s Dad get into so many unlikely situations? ;)
September 8, 2008 at 6:31 am
Poster’s mom is great writer and should have her own blog.
September 8, 2008 at 10:06 am
Poster’s mom, you’re awesome. :D
September 8, 2008 at 10:43 am
Even more astounding than how he “almost killed Al Gore” is…”accidentally had breakfast with Muhammed Ali” which begs the question….how does one accidentally have breakfast in the first place, let alone breakfast with a legend?
By the way, I think the poster’s mom’s e-mail was both cute and provocative….It’s exactly the type of e-mail or text message I love to get….
…let your cute and provocative flag proudly fly! :o)
September 8, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I hope no one thinks I was criticizing her! I was just trying to warn her. :)
September 8, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Kelly,
I read it as a warning and not criticism.
September 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Is this the same Kelly who posted a few days ago saying she thought moms should be banned from this site? If so, she may want to realize that moms come in a wide range of ages. I have children in college that I email, and I also have a mom that emails me. Unintentionally funny emails abound. Internet use is not limited to those under the age of 35.
September 8, 2008 at 4:30 pm
No I am a different kelly!
September 8, 2008 at 4:33 pm
LOVE THIS!!!!! No worries, poster’s Mom…this is great for us.
You sound just like my PERFECT (yet cute and provacative…not that theres anything wrong with that) Mommy!!!!!
No need to be “invited” by a young person…I love your style!!!!
September 8, 2008 at 5:26 pm
My dad has ‘adventures’ like this.
September 8, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Too bad you named your kid Poster, though.
September 9, 2008 at 1:14 am
so how DOES that Poster’s dad find himself in these stories?
September 9, 2008 at 10:40 am
LOL @ jen
September 9, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I dunno. “Poster” is certainly no worse than Apple, Coco, Trig, or Jet. In fact, it’s sort of a new-milennium kind of name. Too bad I’m finished having kids…I’ll keep in mind for when my grandkids come along.
September 12, 2008 at 8:42 am
Well, maybe. But Apple and Coco will have good taste. Trig may be a mathematical savant, who knows? Jet will certainly be well traveled.
But Poster? Poor Poster’s destiny is that of a wallflower.
September 13, 2008 at 5:01 am
Now, if he had ALMOST killed George Bush or John McCain, that would be a tragedy…
September 16, 2008 at 12:25 am
Gee, I looked away for a few moments and look at all the hubbub! Thanks for the encouraging words.
FYI, the Poster gave up using her first name years ago. Unfortunately, we thought we had chosen an under-used, old-fashioned name only to find it was most popular girl’s name for the several years.
Re the breakfast with the Champ — My husband, the Poster’s dad, was having a meeting in an airport back when Poster was only Pos (she was very small at the time). It was a case of him changing planes in the same terminal as the other person in the meeting. They met in the “upscale” restaurant in the Detroit Airport — one with a host to seat people. They had just finished up the meeting and were about to order their food when they noticed that host was asking small parties that were seated at larger tables (for 4) if they’d be willing to share their table since the restaurant was now so crowded. People kept saying no. So Forest Gump and his collaborator said, “sure!” That’s when Muhammad-Ali and his assistant came in and sat down with them. Muhammad-Ali was already quite incapacitated by the Parkinson’s and very slowly ate raisins and Cheerios out of his own bag while his assistant got a restaurant breakfast. Apparently, raisins and Cheerios taste really good when offered with a really, really big hand. At least that’s what my husband says.
As usual, I was at home washing his socks, my husband’s not Muhammad-Ali’s.
I’d probably cause trouble if I wrote the other brushes with greatness, Poster’s dad has had.
Thanks for reading.
September 16, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Poster’s mom you really should start a blog! Love your entries!
September 16, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Karl Rove and sand-pounding pleeeeeeeeeeze…
September 17, 2008 at 6:21 am
I second “Karl Rove and sand-pounding pleeeeeeeeeeze…”
September 17, 2008 at 10:41 am
Such attention can turn a head.
I am not at liberty give details regarding Mr. Rove’s need to play at the beach, if only to protect my family.
(insert cute winky emoticons here)
September 17, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I agree with everyone that says you should start up a blog. It sounds strange, I know, but I actually enjoy, no matter how short they may be, reading your comments.
November 1, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Yeah! Blog! Please!? Poster, make you mom do it!
April 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm
oh my god funniest one ever!! i choked on nothing!! hahhahaha aaahhhhhhhh i HAVE to show this to my mom! hahahaha my night is MADE!
April 11, 2010 at 6:42 am