Backstory: A senile grandmother misplaces things… like her keys, her teeth and apparently her underwear.

mom: guess what is missing today…

me: her teeth again?

mom: she has entirely run out of underwear
I checked at Marshalls and Kohls … lacey and bikinis … no Hanes in packages of three
just picture Gram in thong?

me: you just ruined me

mom: hahahaha

me: this is going to be very expensive therapy

mom: a spa in the Bahamas, huh?

me: that will work, but you cant come if you ever say anything like that again

mom: grandma is looking forward to seeing you at thanksgiving, but where were you all this time?

me: well at least she remembers my name