Me: I don’t know what to get my husband for his birthday
Mom: Well, I don’t know if the standards are higher in New York, but in Oakridge, a 6-pack and a blowjob would do. That’s all men around here want.
What Men Want
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"I'm named after the song A Letter to Elise by The Cure, and my middlenames: Klara and Lisel were chosen because my mom had a dream about having a daughter named Klara, and she promised my great-grandmother that she would name me Lisel."
— Elise
on "Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name?"
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- What’s Coffee Without Cream Like? (3)
- k: Ha! came here to say the exact same thing.
- Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name? (98)
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- What’s Coffee Without Cream Like? (3)
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Past 7 Days
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6 Months
All Time
- 1. In Case of Craigslist Murder +69
- 2. Where the Heck is Click? +67
- 3. What’s Coffee Without Cream Like? +50
- 4. The Virginal Superhero Market +49
- 5. Happy… Birthday? +49
- 6. Dad is a BFB +43
- 7. Red Carpet Commentary +37
- 8. The Case of the Deodorant Thief +30
- 9. The Politics of the Ballet Recital +28
- 10. At Least Look at Him! +25
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- 2. Olympic-Sized Warning +128
- 3. Swallow After Reading +90
- 4. President of the I Can’t Stand David Cassidy Fan Club +87
- 5. Trapped With Dad and Bro +87
- 6. Thought You’d Appreciate My Coolness +85
- 7. Home is Where the Mom Is +83
- 8. That’s Not My Name! +80
- 9. My Googilly +79
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- 1. Pulling One Over on Dad +298
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- 3. Thoughts on Death +252
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- 5. Beyonce and Sigg Bottles +238
- 6. Where Did You Go? (On AIM) +229
- 7. The Truth Behind Dad’s Itinerary +221
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- 9. Best Buy Jailbreak +207
- 10. Actually, I Don’t Get It +196
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1335
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1011
- 3. Get me out of here! +941
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +888
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +870
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +840
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +835
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +782
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +746
- 10. Cleaning Out The Closet +726
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (14)
- 2. Radical Mom (5)
- 3. Planning for a Barista-in-Law (5)
- 4. The Case of the Deodorant Thief (4)
- 5. Happy... Birthday? (4)
- 6. In Case of Craigslist Murder (3)
- 7. What's Coffee Without Cream Like? (3)
- 8. At Least Look at Him! (2)
- 9. Red Carpet Commentary (2)
- 10. Where the Heck is Click? (2)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (98)
- 2. Did You Know About This? (25)
- 3. Olympic-Sized Warning (17)
- 4. Twilight: A Critique (14)
- 5. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (14)
- 6. How to Date-Text Your Mom (13)
- 7. Today in Mom News: Does Motherhood Affect Memory? (13)
- 8. That's Not My Name! (11)
- 9. President of the I Can’t Stand David Cassidy Fan Club (10)
- 10. Hand-Me-Down Bras (9)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (98)
- 2. We Go On, We Live Life (42)
- 3. Never Too Young for Babies (34)
- 4. No Grandchildren Yet? An American Girl Doll Will Do (30)
- 5. Did You Know About This? (25)
- 6. For Future Reference (24)
- 7. Why Punish the Rest of Us? (22)
- 8. What Dad Wants for His Birthday (19)
- 9. Sex Ed, Coming Right Up (18)
- 10. The REAL Joy of Sex (18)
- 1. Where Are You From? (178)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (98)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (96)
- 4. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
- 5. And you are becoming a male hater (69)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (68)
- 7. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 8. Mom the Grammar Nazi (49)
- 9. Obama's Speech Makes Muslim Mom Happy (47)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (45)
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I love this mother! This is a conversation I would have had with my dad, but it’s just as funny coming from mom!
November 24, 2008 at 1:07 pm
This would be a great gift for any man who is hard to buy for!
November 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm
TMI, Mom!
November 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Best. Mom. Ever.
November 24, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Jesus, Mom!
November 24, 2008 at 2:32 pm
uhhhhh……yeah, no. Waaaay too much info coming from her mama.
November 24, 2008 at 2:51 pm
After all these years I hope that husband is still getting that. Perfect gift!
November 24, 2008 at 3:21 pm
That is just priceless! I love it!
November 24, 2008 at 4:14 pm
lol oh my god! your mom is amazing and sadly for me oh so right!
November 24, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I’ve got to say, I agree with your mom. I’m sure he would love it.
November 24, 2008 at 6:15 pm
He shouldn’t have to wait until his birthday.
November 24, 2008 at 7:33 pm
[...] Karly made Postcards From Yo Momma! [...]
November 24, 2008 at 11:14 pm
ROFL…I think I actually cringed when I read that!
November 25, 2008 at 5:42 am
Oh my God. Hilarious, but Mooooooooooooooom, that is sooooooooo embarrassing!!!
November 25, 2008 at 9:38 am
…annnd I have finally figured out what to get my husband for Christmas. Thanks, Mom!
November 25, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Does anyone have her phone number? Maybe she is feeling charitable this year :)
November 25, 2008 at 6:19 pm
I’d say our standards are higher than New York. I hear that in NY you’d be lucky to get a hand job…..and some cheap wine. Kack, you go girl!
November 26, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Hum… is it funnier knowing the parents, or just as a general saying? Best male friend’s motto for women, “Come naked and bring beer.”
November 26, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Whoever this mom belongs to, thank her for me – I just finished Christmas shopping for my boyfriend!
Might be an awkward gift to open at his parent’s house, though. =]
November 27, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Makes the daughter worried about all the times Dad was drinking a beer on his birthday…Or at least I would be.
December 3, 2008 at 2:27 pm
The worst part of this conversation?
Now you know what your dad gets for his birthday every year. XP
May 11, 2009 at 1:19 am
How can you look your Dad in the eye after hearing something like that?
December 2, 2009 at 10:59 am