I wish you a Happy New Year!!  It was wonderful to have you home.  Have a fun New Year’s Eve and behave.  Do not get into too much trouble with your antique coat rack!!

Love you bunches,
Mom

Hey honey! I’m at the airport and there is a whole team of UCLA basketball players. How serious are you about your boyfriend? I know you like chocolate.

This is a personal question…..Have you ever experienced wet gas passing?

Love, momma

How does it feel to be almost 30 years old? Time to start making those babies!!!!

Backstory: A friend had just given birth and I called my mom in tears (near hysterics) to share with her how emotional I was feeling – the miracle of birth and specifically how emotionally overwhelming it all was…  This was her emailed response.

I totally understand – I had an emotional day too – my credit card bill came in the mail.

All men are shitheads. It’s just the degree of shitheadness that separates one from the other.

Honey,
You go girl!!! Of course, there’s never any doubt in my mind that you could excel at anything you put your mind to. When I think about all you’ve done and accomplished,  it amazes me. Snap!
I love you oodles and oodles and oodles,   Mom

Yours is without doubt the prettiest Christmas card I have ever seen! We appreciate the picture (how you change, when we don’t see you often!) Now you remind me of our sister-in-law D.C., in her younger years! I expect it is the hair style.

And for me, there is no better gift than stamps. I go through them like they were free. (Thankfully, some of them are!)

But it saddens my heart that you and K. have, with a few exceptions, refused to help your mother around the house (specifically dishes!). After fixing a big meal for all of you, she is tired! She has not been well for years, yet no one pitches in to help her out. When does she get a break? The first thing you know, she won’t be around to “do” for everyone, and at that point, I expect there will be a few regrets. Please do me a favor and help her out once in a while when you’re home! You are never a “guest” in the home of your parents.

Love, Grandma

I felt so bad this morning because when I was getting ready, for some reason I was thinking to myself about how old R will be in February. I thought he was 23 now but then that didn’t make sense that he would be turning 24 when you just turned 26. Then I couldn’t think if J was going to be 25 or what in March. So, I had to subtract 2009 from 1984 and 1986 to figure out how old they were going to be. That’s pretty bad when you can’t remember the exact age of 2 out of 3 of your kids. Sheesh. Love you, baby doll!

Backstory: My mom always tells my sister and I what words she does not want to hear come from our mouths during family gatherings..

You better not say words such as “snatch” or “smegma pie” during christmas dinner!

Backstory: My mom flew to Reno and got married… and forgot to tell us!

I had this thought this morning…
Life is the lesson.
How you live your life is your lesson.
The choices you make are your lessons.
How other people respond to your choices are their lessons.
From our choices, is our growth.
Grow in love.
God is love.
I made a choice to follow my heart…Bill and I will be married tomorrow at 4pm. Carol & Harry will be witness.
We are all very happy & excited!
My wish for all of us is to be ourselves & grow together.
I love you more than ever…
Mom
XOXOXO

I really need to sweep up all the damn leaves in my back yard!! God I hate that tree. Linda told me to pour gasoline into the roots—that kinda reminds me of murder (!!) and it would be just my luck that some skallywag would toss his cigarette there and then not only would the tree be gone, but my house as well…

Backstory: I asked for a PostSecret book for Christmas.

Watch out for posting “secrets” on the Web! Everyone knows the secret immediately and it’s not as anonymous as you think–even I could figure out the sender in 10 mins! remeber My Space teacher who posted the best part about teaching is Jul and Aug and now has no job! Also, EVERY mark on a computer can be traced and everyone knows who reads these secrets. THINK ABOUT it!
Love
Moma

…complete with a middle eastern virgin and a middle aged man (who has no memory or knowledge of how his virgin wife became pregnant), animals that gravitate to human babies in mangers.(aren’t mangers what barn animals eat out of?? maybe they want to eat baby Jesus?)..Sounds like Sci-Fi to me..oh gosh darn i feel so sacrilegious!!

Thanks for taking Jessie back yesterday.  I hope she gave you the money for the car!  I’m beginning to think you don’t want me in your apartment anymore; it seems like every time I say I’m going to hang out there you are too busy.  You aren’t having orgies or anything in there, are you????

Love,

Mom