sluts never come home. » Postcards From Yo Momma

« Goin’ to the Chapel… // So It’s That Kind Of Dinner »

sluts never come home.

Backstory: my mom is a random lady at times too close to her gay son.

Mom: When are you coming home for the holidays?
Me: Wednesday.
Mom: Why not now? What have you been doing?
Me: Just relaxing, just finished up finals Friday.
Mom: Are you a slut?
Me: What does that mean?
Mom: I don’t know, sluts never come home.

Tagged: missing you, sex

Posted on 12.26.2008 at 10:00 am

Leave a Comment »

1. nbrewer

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! Indeed, mom, sluts never come home!

December 26, 2008 at 10:15 am

Reply
2. belle

hahaha this one’s my favorite

December 27, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Reply
3. casey

that’s because them sluts are always at OTHER people’s homes!

this is my favorite too.

December 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Reply
4. Kelsey

HAHAHAHA this is fantastic.

March 2, 2009 at 6:37 am

Reply

Love, Mom

"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
on "Home Cookin’"
- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
  - A Mom: We do this because we think about you all the time. We run-on our sentences, eschew...
  - KMc: My mom sends emails like this too! She writes in her own shorthand language that I...
  - Patrick: I think the response ‘roger’ is appropriate.
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
  - Cat: hahaha that’s my mom! :-)
  - Terry: Laughing, soda dripping down my chin.
- The Joys of Aging (1)
  - Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 2. I Have Fun Too +4
- 3. Mom’s Hip with the Lingo +2
— view all —
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +18
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. The Joys of Aging +9
- 4. Way Harsh, Mom +9
- 5. Happy Milk Day +8
- 6. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 7. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 8. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 9. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
— view all —
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +22
- 4. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 5. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 6. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 7. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Which One Wants to Pull the Plug? +18
— view all —
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +951
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +911
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
— view all —
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 2. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 3. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 4. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 5. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 6. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 7. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Christ in a Clown Suit (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (72)
- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website

email:

or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
search:
Tags

advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pooping pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work