I’m sorry about the boy drama. You need to put him out to pasture. If he said he wanted to be with you, how could you ever trust him? And what kind of man is he to be so disrespectful to you so many times. Of course he keeps coming around because you are beautiful, wonderful, smart…, but he isn’t good enough. Would your Dad ever treat a woman like that?!!
Oopps, I forgot to ask if you wanted my input on the subject! :)
I love you doll, and will say prayers for you to be strong and get your work done. I love you doll.
XOXO Ma

I wanted to ask you if you have any plans or plan to have plans on February 14 (VD). I was telling Tom that I have off for that whole week, and because I can’t really plan an entire family vacation, maybe we could come over and see you that night!

Hi Girls,
It is just after 10pm and I learned that XXXXX has recalled, because of the peanut contamination, their peanut covered donuts. Guess what I had for breakfast this am? Yeah, I bought 3 donuts yesterday, and had 1/2 of the peanut donut this morning. Oh oh, it is now only 11 hours since I ate, it looks like I have from now until about 72 hours to see if I’m infected. Dad is taking the 1/2 peanut donut and the other glazed donut back in the morning.

They sure looked so good!!! Why didn’t I resist the call of the peanut donut?

Ok, 12-72 hours and counting. LOL Hummmmmm…..nice to be close to the bathroom. Get the bucket Tim.
Love,
Mom

Backstory: My mother decided to send me my Chinese Horoscope for 2009 and check my compatibility with my husband

Yep he’s a snake. Here’s his compatibility with you:

Snake and DOG
Mutual respect and some area of common interest. No large conflicts. Compatible to a good degree. Will cooperate amicably.

But snakes and pigs (me) don’t get along. Especially when they make fun of Obama. Hahaha.

Dad took me to lunch afterwards. All in all, the procedure itself was a breeze. I just wish that bitch with the needle had told me how much it would burn. They did warn me I might feel light headed after the IV meds kicked in, but that turned out to be a sensation I found surprisingly enjoyable. I bet my hiney was the cutest one all day.

Love you, Bumble! Don’t forget to call me after work.

Hi girls, I’ve been invited to join g-mail…I feel very special. But I always feel “special.” Talk to you later, Mom

If the world is ending in 2012, somebody better make me a grandma in plenty of time to let me enjoy it. (Don’t tell your sister this.) :)

your father had no rhythm. i would never dance with him in public. he made elaine benes look like fucking ginger rogers

I forgot to tell you that I ate all the sweets you bought and left behind at Xmas–I don’t even particularly like sweets!…I am really going to change my eating habits and enjoy eating fresh fruit and veg. To that end I have just purchased a bag of grapes. I mean it this time I am going to get in shape and feel good about it. Phil is now so fat that when he rolls over in bed he takes all the covers with him and I end up freezing – I know too much information-he says a dog is the answer – I said I’m not sleeping with a dog-thought that may make you chuckle! Your buxom mother xx

Backstory: My mom hurt her knee while walking into work… she doesn’t like taking pills and never swears, so dropping the “F Bomb” is her way of saying she was in a lot of pain. PS: I never told her to “man up.”

Trevor. broke out in hives last night! We were a sorry site. Every time I take a step I drop the “F” bomb and he is red polka dots! Next time I get hurt tell me not to “man-up” and be brave and take the pain pills. I wish I would have taken the prescriptions yesterday. I took two Aleve last night and still suffered. Happy Hump to you.

Don’t do drugs!! You can’t afford them.

list of possible presents for mom:
1. Parfurm:

Burberry Weekend
or
Burberry Summer

I will be happy…

2. Return my Burberry scarf (I will be happy…)

3. clean your room (I again will be happy…)

I was just “chatting” with the credit card co. about something other than fraud, and the credit card lady told me to
WATCH OUT!!! The wallet and Purse thieves are out in full force due to the bad economy. She told me that the calls for stolen card (wallets) has escalated in the past few weeks, Turn around and it is GONE, so be vigilent! and carry only what you really need in your wallet!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Also phone calls trying to get the card numbers.
Love from your ever watchful M

Nanci and I took the girls to the game tonight, they are sooo cute and fun, I wish I had the energy to have more. Thats up to you girls now. I hear Tom Cruise was in your town recently keep your crazy eye out for him. Love ya and talk to you soon.
Mum

Are you OK? Some one told me last night about a murder in Belgium. Apparently some guy went crazy and shot somebody?? Just respond so I know that you are OK. I know, I’m neurotic. Thanks for the B-day card!

Love and miss you, Mom

Jennifer, this is your mother, what the hell is going on since when do you put me to voicemail???????? WHAT ARE YOU DOING????? Call me.

Backstory: My parents are divorced so she thinks this is just hilarious, and so do I!

Let me to tell you about something that happened to your dad and brother while they were in Virginia; I wasn’t supposed to repeat it, yeah right, like they will know that you found out.. so, they went to a rest stop off the highway; like they always do, cause your brother always has to pee, anyway, they came out and couldn’t find the car. Your dad calls the state police and tells them that his car has been stolen. Now mind you, he probably has most of what he owns in his car, including the cooler full of cash, most likely, but I’m not sure. So the state police tell them to go back inside the rest area bldg and go out the other door. His car is parked right out front. I guess it was one of those buildings with several exits and the state police said they get 6-8 calls a day from people saying their car has been stolen cause if you go out a different exit than you came in, especially if it’s night time, you can’t find your car. He must have been ready to shit his pants.
HAHAHA

Backstory: This is the last paragrah in a letter I found that my mom sent me during my first week at college – 13 years ago.

Be careful, lock your car, don’t forget your keys, make your bed, pick up after yourself, hang up those wet towels, watch your money, study hard, and don’t believe a darn thing that some guy tells you!!!