Hey lil I sense a transition coming up…..we know how good we are with those….you K? love you miss you gotta go oatmeal is burning. hey it didn’t send. Oatmeal disaster averted. Dad says “BLAH BLAH BLAH hi, I love you lil” I just wrote the important stuff. Now. I’ve scorched the oatmeal. I was up late last night counting my blessings (at the risk of sounding like a douche) somewhere around toilet paper I fell asleep. I woke up wondering why I get in my own way so much of the time. The only thing I can think of is… I am a douche. Sorry about so much douche but it makes me smile every time I type it. douche douche douche she typed laughing like an idiot. In short don’t be a douche like your mom. AND if for some reason your feeling down or doubtful or numb type douche it works for me. Well that is enough motherly wisdom for one email. now it’s time to eat my now cold oatmeal. love ya doll mom
-
"I asked myself the same question many a time during my years of teaching teenage boys! Poor Mom and poor Mr. Harrison.
(No, I never had X is a Penishead written on a desk, thank goodness, but I did have to throw out a dozen textbooks at the end of the year at one point because just about every picture had been, ahem, similarly embellished.)"— Anne
-
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
- thetanofa: When I first moved to NY from CA it was similar. In CA you can buy ANYTHING at the...
- Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name? (131)
- So It’s Not the Phone? (6)
- nolalola26: Poor daughter! Sick AND worried her mom is losing her marbles??
- Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- nolalola26: This is adorable.
- Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- Terry: Oh, Lordy! I have to send this to my mom and brother. In addition to 60 years of Field...
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
-
-
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 2. Something to Tell the Police +28
- 3. Macho Died With Your Father +8
- 4. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) +8
- 1. Camel Toe Explained +67
- 2. So It’s Not the Phone? +60
- 3. That’s How Bad This Haircut Is. +42
- 4. At Least She Remembered to Wave +42
- 5. Freedom Through Dementia +41
- 6. How Twitter Works +38
- 7. The Meaning of Gray Hair +36
- 8. Urgent New Guy Questions +35
- 9. Goiters and Such +31
- 10. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 1. Dept. of Useless Kitchen Gadgetry +186
- 2. Special Delivery +146
- 3. Google as Mom Replacement +134
- 4. Safe Sex for Strangers +128
- 5. Looking for Woo Loo +126
- 6. High Tech Momflix +122
- 7. Thought You’d Appreciate My Coolness +121
- 8. Looking for a Happy Father’s Day +120
- 9. Friend With Benefits +118
- 10. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired +112
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1413
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1093
- 3. Get me out of here! +994
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +955
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +927
- 6. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +895
- 7. What Mom Learned From AARP +893
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +839
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +813
- 10. Cleaning Out The Closet +772
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 2. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- 3. "Sex and Defenders" (1)
- 4. Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- 5. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 6. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 7. "Sex and Defenders" (0)
- 8. (0)
- 9. Macho Died With Your Father (0)
- 10. Quake (0)
- 1. Airbrushed Makeup with Brian Champagne (7)
- 2. Old Dog Blues (7)
- 3. Give the Peace Sign a Chance (6)
- 4. So It's Not the Phone? (6)
- 5. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 6. That's How Bad This Haircut Is. (5)
- 7. Goiters and Such (5)
- 8. The Septic Tank Saga (Ft. Josh Groban) (4)
- 9. The Tao of Mom's Booty (3)
- 10. Just Say No to Vampire Fashion (3)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 2. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (25)
- 3. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired (23)
- 4. Today In Mom News: Does Yo Momma Have a Potty Mouth? (20)
- 5. Surprising Found Objects (19)
- 6. Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die? (19)
- 7. Today in Mom News: French Writer Says Motherhood Is Oppressive (13)
- 8. This is your mother speaking (13)
- 9. Bra Shopping with Mom (13)
- 10. Watch out for Spike (13)
- 1. Where Are You From? (178)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (97)
- 4. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
- 5. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (70)
- 6. And you are becoming a male hater (69)
- 7. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (64)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (51)
- 10. Obama's Speech Makes Muslim Mom Happy (47)
-
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
-
Tags
advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting tmi totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work


















“douche”
omg, that actually works! Moms totally know best.
January 5, 2009 at 10:23 am
Team get mom into therapy.
January 6, 2009 at 1:35 am
Um, what the hell drugs is that mom on? Totally crazy incoherent message.
January 6, 2009 at 11:04 am
Christie, it made perfect sense to me. That could say a lot about my sanity though. . .
anyway, you should really try it. Douche douche douche.
You can’t help but smile when you type it.
January 6, 2009 at 11:10 pm
I love your mother Lillian! She is awesome…
douche douche douche douche douche.
And I believe that its a totally coherent message, I understand nothing, drugs or no!
January 11, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Brilliant, funny, caring, and a wonderfully loving message to a daughter. Mom eats scorched, cold oatmeal for You!
Add it to the blessings list. And we’re working on that idea for a decent laundromat for Prague.
January 11, 2009 at 3:29 pm