You Can’t Handle the Meth

Mom: So what are you doing for New Year’s Eve?

Me: Heading to Cleveland with some friends.

Mom: Are you going to the Flats?

Me: No, probably heading to the Warehouse District.

Mom: Is that in the Flats?

Me: No, it’s in the Warehouse district.

[lingering inactivity]

Mom: Is that where they do the meth parties?

Me: What now?

Mom: Meth Parties. I heard there are all sorts of meth parties up in Cleveland.

Me: No, no meth parties.

Mom: Just promise me you won’t go to any meth parties. You can’t handle meth.

Me: I promise.

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Love, Mom
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