Backstory: I’ve gone back to college & started dating again, at the ripe age of 28. My mom feels the need to encourage me.

me: so one of my classmates/groupmates plays hockey for psu. he got the crap beat out of him in their game last night!
mom: gotta love those hockey boys. they take a licken’ and keep on ticken’
me:he’s a cutie but i think he’s only like 21
mom: that meat is a little young!
me: omg! i just said he was a cutie not that i was planning on hitting that!
mom: yeah right!
me: uh hello i have to work on the project with him until the end of may! after that, maybe…
mom: be gentle…
me: ok this conversation is over!