Good Music to Sex To

Backstory:  My fiance and I spent the weekend at my parent’s lake house, and evidently left behind a CD that I burned for him to listen to in the car, a long while back.
Mom: I found a CD on the bureau in the third bedroom that had “I (heart) you” on it.  Looks like your writing.

Me: Oh.  Sry.  We must have left that by accident.

Mom: Is that your lovemaking cd?

Me: What?  NO!  Did u LISTEN 2 it?

Mom: No, I did not want to think of you and Jason making sweet love on that new mattress that I just bought, tainting it.

Me: MOM!  It’s a CD with rock music on it.  Seether, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, etc.  I highly doubt that we would be hittin’ it to that!

Mom: I have never heard of those bands.  Is that what Denise calls “Kill Your Mother Music”?

Me: Knowing her, probably.

Mom: Well, it could be possible you use it for that.  Some people like rough sex.

Me: OK Mom, that’s enough.  But no, it is not our “lovemaking” CD.

Mom: Ok….I’ll mail it.  Wait!  Does it have any music on it from that Kahnyay person?  A nurse at the hospital was having a fit her daughter was listening to his music?????????  I wanted to hear some.

Me: NO, there is no KANYE West on there.

Mom: Okay, well maybe you should check him out.  He might make some good music to sex to.

Me: Ok, mom.  Enough.

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    • 1.  carolina

      This is hilarious. Sounds just like a conversation with my Mom.
      I even end a lot of conversations with enough!

      February 19, 2009 at 5:48 pm

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    • 2.  Meg

      My mom today after hearing the ongoing boy drama in my life suggested “You should just sleep with him and get it over with. That would fix everything.”

      February 19, 2009 at 10:23 pm

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    • 3.  Jen

      This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read on this site. Your Mom rocks. You must have been mortified, LOL!

      February 19, 2009 at 11:13 pm

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    • 4.  Little Lemon

      Mum needs to learn some boundaries regarding sex and her child. It really is non of her business.

      February 20, 2009 at 2:30 am

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    • 5.  Lisacles

      Oh god, this made me laugh so much! I am having a terrible time and work and this is the first time in ages that I have laughed so hard!!! thanl you!

      February 20, 2009 at 6:16 am

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    • 6.  Elizabeth

      This is hilarious. The sex talk aside, I love how she has just discovered Kanye West exists and assumes you still need to check him out.

      February 20, 2009 at 1:25 pm

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    • 7.  Ben

      HAHAHA! I love how she spells “Kahnyay”. This Mom is awesome!

      February 20, 2009 at 4:10 pm

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    • 8.  K

      This was one of the best ones yet!

      February 20, 2009 at 5:15 pm

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    • 9.  JeffreyG

      What does she mean “taint” the mattress? Isn’t it like when you change your sheets you have to break them in by having sex on them? Same with a mattress, only it takes longer to break in the mattress than it does a clean set of sheets.

      February 20, 2009 at 6:07 pm

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    • 10.  Lis

      My stomach hurts from laughing at other posts…then I get to this one. HILARIOUS…..omg…thanx for sharing!

      September 11, 2009 at 8:29 am

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Love, Mom