Don’t Just Listen to Dear Abby

Backstory: When my mom dropped me off for my first day at college, she gave me a Dear Abby column about leaving home that she was keeping in her purse. I was slightly underwhelmed.

Mom: I’m sorry about that Dear Abby column. I did think of some better advice: Never have sex in the same room as a pit bull.
Me: ?
Mom: There’s something about it that sets them off. Every time I hear about someone being mauled by a pit bull it involves a prostitute.
Me: Uhhh…thanks?
Mom: Well, I have already told you about all the other ways you could die. If I knew about this and didn’t tell you, I’d feel awful if it really happened.
Me: [silence]
Mom: Also, don’t fall in with a nest of lesbians. Love you!!!!!

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    • 1.  Robin

      A ‘nest of lesbians’? Like vampires?

      March 11, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    • 2.  JeffreyG

      Does nest apply to 3 or more?

      March 11, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    • 3.  melanie

      Aww, that’s so sweet – keeping and handing on the Dear Abby column. Cute mum. The rest… not so cute!

      March 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    • 4.  Carey

      Reminds me of how crazy my mom can be. Pit bulls mauling prostitutes? Nests of lesbians? Can’t help but love a mom like that :-)

      March 11, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    • 5.  Tony

      I thought lesbians traveled in gaggles, or was it herds?

      March 25, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    • 6.  JGD

      She’d be LUCKY to fall in with a nest of lesbians…

      May 13, 2011 at 5:18 pm

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Love, Mom