Backstory: When my mom dropped me off for my first day at college, she gave me a Dear Abby column about leaving home that she was keeping in her purse. I was slightly underwhelmed.
Mom: I’m sorry about that Dear Abby column. I did think of some better advice: Never have sex in the same room as a pit bull.
Me: ?
Mom: There’s something about it that sets them off. Every time I hear about someone being mauled by a pit bull it involves a prostitute.
Me: Uhhh…thanks?
Mom: Well, I have already told you about all the other ways you could die. If I knew about this and didn’t tell you, I’d feel awful if it really happened.
Me: [silence]
Mom: Also, don’t fall in with a nest of lesbians. Love you!!!!!
A ‘nest of lesbians’? Like vampires?
March 11, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Does nest apply to 3 or more?
March 11, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Aww, that’s so sweet – keeping and handing on the Dear Abby column. Cute mum. The rest… not so cute!
March 11, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Reminds me of how crazy my mom can be. Pit bulls mauling prostitutes? Nests of lesbians? Can’t help but love a mom like that :-)
March 11, 2009 at 10:58 pm
I thought lesbians traveled in gaggles, or was it herds?
March 25, 2009 at 5:16 pm
She’d be LUCKY to fall in with a nest of lesbians…
May 13, 2011 at 5:18 pm