Backstory: My parents are getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage, and word has gotten back to a certain Great-Aunt who has always had a fondness for sending us Bibles and other unsolicited Christian literature. Up to this point, my mom tactfully stays quiet about the religious stuff, but she gets kinda fierce when anyone tries to tell her how to handle the end of her marriage.
For Christmas, your great-Aunt F sent me a postcard wishing me success in the reconciliation of my marriage.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, she sent me a DVD about saving my marriage the Christian way. She said “Even though I am a Christian, I’m not trying to convert you. I accept that you are not a Christian, but I hope you’ll find this helpful.”
I’m gonna write her back- “Even though I am a sinner, I’m not trying to convert you. I accept that you’re not a sinner, but I hope you’ll find this helpful.”
The note will be attached to a vibrator.
That is TOO funny!
March 17, 2009 at 12:16 pm
YES!!!! The best post EVER! I LOVE YOUR MOM…tell her to call me after her divorce…lol
March 17, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Ugh that sounds like almost everyone in my husband’s extended family! (The aunt, not the Mom)
March 17, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I LOVE this mom!!!!
March 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Go Mom!
March 17, 2009 at 12:52 pm
BEST ONE EVER.
March 17, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Haha, sounds like the end of MY marriage (lol)
March 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm
That’s the way to do it (as Punch said to Judy)
March 17, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I would send it attached to a buttplug. Tell her to remove the stick, and have some fun. . . . .
March 17, 2009 at 4:07 pm
When I read that last line it had me laughing out loud!!! This mom is hilarious!!! Does anybody think the “gift” will get used???
March 17, 2009 at 4:16 pm
BEST MOM EVER!!!! GO MOM!!!
March 17, 2009 at 8:29 pm
How witty!!
March 17, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I want to buy your mom a beer.
March 18, 2009 at 12:32 pm
fanFUCKINGtastic.
March 18, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Ha! That’s fanfuckingtastic. If anybody had done that to my mom a few years ago when my dad left after 32 years of marriage/five kids, she probably would have put her foot through their face.
March 21, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Best. Comeback. EVAR! Mom is full of win and awesome!
March 24, 2009 at 12:35 am
“Uh-oh: You have already rated this post!”
This Mom needs to read the comments under this post and realise that there are many many of us who believe her to be the definition of cool.
July 21, 2009 at 8:09 am
Now THAT is funny!
August 23, 2009 at 7:53 pm
This mom is AWESOME! Reminds me of my stepbrother and SIL. I’d been a lay minister, preaching relief for pastors on vacation or ill, for about five years, in a denomination they considered too liberal to really be “Christian” enough for them. For Christmas one year they sent me a lovely, full colour and illustrated book on the fundamentals of the Bible that ended with “Would you like to accept Jesus as your personal saviour? Just say this prayer”!!
August 24, 2009 at 2:41 am
the most awesome come back!!!!!!!!!!!
September 12, 2009 at 1:20 am
I love this post! Most Excellent! This Mom is a kindred spirit for sure! You go Girl!!
January 22, 2010 at 5:46 pm