Check Out Our New Facebook Page!

We decided to switch our Facebook group over to a brand-spanking-new Facebook Fan page, which will make it easier for us to keep everyone clued in to the latest PFYM developments, including upcoming appearances in New York, Boston and San Francisco. Also, you can post photos and videos of you and your mom! (Please do. We’d love to see them.)

make me and jesus proud

me: UGH mom you would not believe this. My fiance’s flight is canceled! he doesn’t fly out until tomorrow morning!
mom: Oh NO WHAT R U going to do??
me: Well, we are looking for a cheap hotel.
mom: for him or for BOTH OF YOU????
me: For him
mom: I know IIII am not there, but GOD is… and just a friendly reminder, WEDDING DRESSES ARE MADE FOR ONE NOT TWO! so make a good choice.
me: you are unbelievable
mom: love you too! I know you’ll make me and jesus proud…. right?
me: BYE

the problem with waking up at 4:50 am…

…is that i end up putting my underwear on inside out.

Potato, Potahto.

I’m not sure if I’m Tweeting or Twatting, what’s the difference?

Mom’s Thoughts on the Bachelor Finale

me: Did you see the Bachelor last night?

mom: Yep, i think he is an ass now
wishy washy fish lipped girlie boy

That’s No Gag Gift

Mom: OK….This is really weird.
I’m looking at S and B’s bridal registry on line…. They’ve registered for “Operation”… You know, that goofy kids game.  What the heck?
Me: maybe because S is going to medical school?
gag gift?
Mom: …and Clue, and Monopoly…and…
a bunch of electronic games….Wii and so forth
Me: huh, eeehh maybe they like to entertain?
Mom: Ok.
Mom: And a poker six deck shuffler, and Risk
Me: LOL
huh
Mom: Hmmmmm.  Maybe they’ve figured out some kind of kinky, newlywed way of playing these games…
Me: ew gross mom no
Mom: “I don’t have a Clue what you want dear…”  “Let’s take a Risk, shall we?”  “Don’t Monopolize the [fill in the blank here]
It could work.

You Always Do Laundry on Monday

Mom: I’m in a cab coming to your place
Me: Why don’t you go to the hotel and I’ll meet you there
Mom: No I’ll come over and we can chat and I can help you with your laundry
Me: I’m not doing laundry
Mom: Yes you are
Me: No I’m not doing laundry I don’t have any laundry to do what are you talking about
Mom: You always do laundry on Monday
Me: No I don’t
Mom: yes you do, every monday morning
Me: you’re insane i do laundry once a month and only sometimes on monday
Mom: whatever.

There Are Only Three Options.

Have tried to phone you but no reply so 3 options
1. terrible hangover
2. found floating in lake with very high blood alcohol
3. very depressed and head under duvet
Mum

Phish Food For Thought

Hi! Saw on a ticket web site that Phish will be in WI on Sat, 6/20. That would be a good B-day gift for Dan. Looks like the tickets are expensive. You should not partake if it is a pothead party as you have much to lose in your career. Is it an outdoor venue? Food for thought.

Aye Matey, Twill Be a Good Bridal Shower

The party is on Saturday at 1:00pm in Brooklyn. I guess, I would drive and pick you up on the way.
We still need a song (pirate song???), which we have to get somewhere. I tried to get one in Kiev to no avail.
Talk to you.
Love, Mom

True Girlfriends, Not Sexual Girlfriends

Backstory: This email came after I told my mom that the person I will be bringing with me to visit her isn’t my friend, but in fact a girl I am sleeping with (up until this point she thought I was straight).

As for sleeping arrangements go, I know that you are an adult but since you are not in a committed relationship with this girl, I think she should sleep on the couch and not in your room ( the same thing would be true if this was a man!!). Unless you two can sleep together as girlfriends, like true girlfriends not sexual girlfriends. Your grandmother is right down the hall!

The Right Girl Will Come Along

Yes you do not have the macho chat up lines of our Turkish brethern who are really only concerned with the size of their penis and want evryone to admire it. Sorry in a way that she’s gone but you clearly didn’t think she was ‘the one’ so i’m glad she’s fallen for someone else. Your time will come again when you ask a girl out and she’s available and wants to come. I distinctly remember having dry patches between relationships-boring but necessary.



Love, Mom