Backstory: Two nights before my wedding mom thinks we need to have “the talk”.
Honey,
I just want to let you know that if you have any, you know, QUESTIONS, you can ask me anything. Your father isn’t the best lover in the world, so I also know a lot about toys. Let’s get dinner tonight.
Love,
Mom
My maid of honor’s mom decided that I needed to have this same conversation a few days before my wedding because she didn’t think my mom would have “the talk” with me. Talk about too much information!
April 14, 2009 at 10:25 am
Sightly more information than a girl needs!
April 14, 2009 at 10:25 am
Bahahahaha! I LOVE THIS!
April 14, 2009 at 10:40 am
OMG Mom, NOOOOO! *la la la I can’t hear you*
April 14, 2009 at 11:15 am
I got married at 23. At age 26 my mom thought she should have “the talk” with me. She wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself and not getting into “any trouble.” Right… That would have been helpful at say age 17??? LOL!
April 14, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Mom, exactly what kind of toys are you talking about? Feel sorry for dad though that mom has to resort to electrical devices for her pleasure.
April 14, 2009 at 12:50 pm
JeffreyG, you seem to feel sorry for a lot of people based on your posts.
Maybe you just shouldn’t.
April 14, 2009 at 3:06 pm
oh snap!
April 14, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Do people actually save themselves for marriage these days or is it mums just thinking we do? I had The Talk at 14!
April 14, 2009 at 5:56 pm
It’s lovely that Mom is concerned, but I really wouldn’t want to know this about my Mom. Or my Dad for that matter.
April 14, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Yep, there are still people around who only want to have sex with their spouse. I’m one and never regretted the decision for a moment… in fact it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!
All the same, I also got ‘the talk’ two weeks before my wedding. Poor Mom was trying to be all buddy buddy and open and take our friendship to some new level. Sorry Mom, nothing personal, just not gonna happen.
April 14, 2009 at 9:33 pm
This totally reminds me of my mother. When I was 22, my mother tried to have “the talk” with me. I realized quickly what she was doing and told her that she was about 10 years too late, my dad had given me “the talk” at 12.
April 15, 2009 at 8:15 am
I had a c-section a month before our wedding, with my fiance watching the surgery. My brother thought he’d be funny and give my husband the talk at the wedding. The hubby quieted the brother with “dude, I’ve seen her bladder”.
April 15, 2009 at 2:38 pm
hehe. About a week before I got married, as I was headed out the door for work, my mom handed me a note to “read later” which outlined what to expect if my fiance and I had opted to wait until we were married to have sex. It was sweet. I still have it almost 4 years later.
April 15, 2009 at 4:58 pm
A few years ago when I was dating a guy who seemed to potentially have a drinking problem, I was gently probing my mother for information as to how and why she maintained for years her second marriage (my father committed suicide when I was five) to a man who turned out to be a homicidal, alcoholic criminal who tried to kill on her on more than one occasion: “Well, John (second husband) was the best sex I ever had. Your daddy was what they call a bunny-f**ker…”
AARRGGHH!!
April 18, 2009 at 12:23 am