Backstory: I had to defriend my mom on facebook a while ago because she went a little crazy with it but I sent her a link so she could see pictures I had posted from a trip I took with my friend.
i loved your pictures of philly and your commentary..too bad I couldnt comment cause Im not your friend :( and that Kevin is so cute! why does he have to be gay? can you ask him for me?
Love, your mommy
Sounds like mom, alright!! Do I even have to tell anyone that it’s a Jewish mom, no less?
May 27, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Ha! Oh dear. My suggestion is keep your mother as a friend, but put her on limited profile. That’s what I’ve done to mine!
May 27, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Wow, taking your mom off your friend list is harsh as hell…no matter what she was doing…there are way to ignore posts…wow…you’re mean.
May 27, 2009 at 5:17 pm
you unfriended your own mother?! bitch move, epic fail.
May 27, 2009 at 6:53 pm
These reactions are exactly why I’m glad that my parents and aunts are not on any social networking sites! I agree with the limited profile.
May 27, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I don’t even have my mother on Facebook. I have denied all attempts at friending. There are just some things that you don’t need your mother to be a part of.
May 27, 2009 at 7:08 pm
lynn & anon– hey, woa! in my sister’s defense, my mother did get a little nuts and way overstepped her boundaries. why don’t you just appreciate the humor of the note, and avoid making personal attacks, especially when you don’t know the whole story.
May 27, 2009 at 11:08 pm
That comment about Kevin is justification enough. I imagine she would have commented “Oh Kevin, why do you have to be gay??” on the picture if she could have. No thanks mom!
May 27, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Lynn & Anon are clearly moms who are trolling this site, waiting to tell us what bad kids we all are because their own kids are ignoring them.
May 28, 2009 at 8:20 am
sheesh, it’s not a bitch move. it’s not like she disowned her. it’s FACEBOOK. calm down, stop hating. my goodness.
May 28, 2009 at 10:37 am
lawl, no, i’m not a trolling mom. that would be cute though. i just call them like i see them. if you didn’t somewhat agree, you wouldn’t be so defensive.
May 28, 2009 at 1:07 pm
It’s the internet, it’s not like they moved and didn’t tell their mom their new address.
May 29, 2009 at 11:04 am
Also, she shared an fb album with her mom so obvs there’s no hard feelings between them!
Anon: In regards to your use of the term “fail”… INTERNET WURDZ, UR DOIN IT WRONG
May 29, 2009 at 4:36 pm
arghhy
hahaha@your response to anon
May 29, 2009 at 9:56 pm
i’m still unsure why my comments have triggered such animus amongst the readers of this blog. it seems to me obvious that unfriending one’s mother, when she probably joined facebook to communicate with her children, would be hurtful and therefore rude. no one seems to give much thought to the feelings of others.
arghhy, your criticism of my usage intrigues me. please elaborate, and do be specific, if you’re able.
May 30, 2009 at 11:53 am
I would imagine the Mom has other ways to communicate with her kids, Anon. Like…a telephone, perhaps? E-mail? Pigeon carriers?
Facebook isn’t the primary form of communication for loads of moms and kids.
I also think it’s interesting how you refuse to listen to the OP’s Sister regarding Mum’s overstepping of boundaries. The OP sounds like an adult and is allowed to have a separate, personal life, and can decide for herself when she feels her space is being violated. This does not mean wither the Mum or the Op has to be the bad guy- just that everyone needs their own space.
Before smugly implying that there are issues present in the relationship (especially since the people in the relationship have pointed out that there is in fact, a good reason for the de-friending), I’d actually try to keep an open mind and think of other possibilities instead of jumping to the worst possible conclusion.
Not every Mum-Progeny relationship has to be the way you feel it should be.
OP, your Mum sounds very cute. :)
June 1, 2009 at 2:01 am
Oh, and Anon, it’s animosity, not “animus”. Animus sounds like a really cool Harry Potter spell, however! :)
June 1, 2009 at 2:02 am
While I agree it is not a big deal she defriended her Mom, *animus* is a word.
June 1, 2009 at 9:01 am
I like how anon uses less than ten words to blast someone he/she doesn’t know but when it backfires, he/she suddenly summons the ability to write eloquent paragraphs in his/her defense.
Anon, in internet parlance, a “fail” is something thats wrong in the physical or actual sense, not in the moral sense. So while you may think the OP is wrong for defriending her mom, it was your lame attempt at flaming her that was the fail.
June 1, 2009 at 10:59 am
Jude- Our mom is very cute! Overbearing, sometimes as mothers are wont to be, but cute all the same. :D
June 1, 2009 at 11:31 am
Also, if anyone was wondering:
Animus, n. meaning (1) An attitude that informs one’s actions; disposition; (2) a feeling of animosity; ill will; (3) In Jungian psychology, the masculine inner personality as present in women. (Source: American Heritage Dictionary, 4th ed.)
June 1, 2009 at 11:37 am
thank you, argghy, for your clarification of what can and cannot constitute fail. truthfully, i had no idea it’s application is relegated to physical action. this is interesting. you were right to assume that i was implying a failure in judgement and not that facebook actually failed to unfriend op’s mother when she completed the necessary action. i was under the impression that internet slang, like all language, is malleable enough to be applied as the speaker or writer sees fit. i think you should consider the fact that, under your stringent definition, phrases like “this is fail,” “x is made of fail,” etc., are rendered nearly impossible to define. google some memes, you’ll see what i mean.
i could have written eloquently from the beginning, but i felt the effort would be wasted. clearly, i was right, as the replies have been circuitous defenses of the original poster who is as much a stranger to any of you (except her sister) as she is to me. i won’t even get into the fact that jude can’t recognize “animus” as a word, though he or she gets points back for the harry potter reference.
yes, jude, there are other means to communicate with one’s family than through facebook. this assertion does not negate my claim in any way, i’m afraid. ignoring someone’s calls, for example, is not acceptable simply because he or she can text or email instead.
op is allowed to have a separate personal life, of course, but the moment she posts it on the internet it is neither separate nor personal. something to consider.
my implications were not smug, they were quite brazen accusations, i assure you. although they were directed at those of you gallantly defending op, not op herself.
all this aside, you’re all welcome to continue to try to persuade me that op was justified in her unfriending (i’m really enjoying it, actually), but i will not change my mind.
June 1, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Anon: None of the examples that you cite for uses of “fail” would be used to describe a moral failing. Doing something morally wrong or mean is morally wrong or mean, but is in no way a fail; unless you tried to insult someone, used the wrong choice of words and ended up making yourself look lame in the process. THAT would be a fail.
June 1, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I personally think that there are certain circumstances in which cutting family members out of aspects of your life is acceptable. I have also de-friended my mother on facebook after she overstepped some limits that most mothers have with their adult daughters. Not everyone has the same parental experiences. You can’t condemn someone else for handling a situation differently that you would if you don’t know the whole story.
June 1, 2009 at 7:40 pm
that is so not cool this not good yo mommy jokes
June 4, 2009 at 10:51 pm
That’s rude…it would hurt her! keep her as friend…pls..
June 9, 2009 at 8:25 pm
I’m inclined to agree; defriending your own mum makes me feel sad to be honest ^-^;
(Especially as you are probably a big part of why she was on facebook to begin with.)
July 17, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Why does everyone assume that the daughter is the reason the mom is on facebook? I’m not saying that it’s definitely not but quite a few of the moms I know who did get on facebook were barely influence by whether or not their kids were on/friended. At which point, the whole friending/defriending thing would be a moot point.
July 30, 2009 at 3:09 am
Funny how some people assume that mother daughter relations are all sunshine and light and how guarding the boundaries of a relationship is ‘awww so hurtful’.
No thought to the intrusion and lack of respect the mother had for her daughter’s boundaries. It seems fair to explain to mum that she was defriended because daughter wasn’t comfortable with the way she was using facebook to disrespect the boundaries of their relationship. But other than the explanation? Tough luck. Just because she’s your mother doesn’t mean she gets a free pass to walk all over you.
September 3, 2009 at 5:27 pm