Backstory: This is an email I got from my mother talking about a man I have a crush on but have not yet found the strength to speak to him.

You certainly don’t want to stand back and watch someone else walk out with that sweater you thought you might like to try on.  It’s also really irritating to keep running into someone wearing that sweater — if you never had the chance to see if it was a good fit or not.   If that happens, one can waste time wondering if it would have fit, and then waste more time looking for something similar, and even obsess about it  - rather than resuming “shopping” & maybe even checking out a different Mall.  There are some great things out there.

If it were only all that easy —  could be why so many are checking out shopping online these days.

Love you,
Mom

I would so much appreciate if you called or wrote to Dad for his birthday.  And, despite any under the mustache grumbling on his part, I know he would, too.

So far I am thinking of getting him a banana plant.  Is that too subtle?

Forty yrs ago today I sat in Roy and Mary’s house watching the moon landing and telling you all about it, in utero. However, since I was only 2 mos pregnant I don’t think you had ears.
love you

Backstory: Mom’s car & house are notorious for stinking like her two dogs, who play every day in the lake next to her house. My sister & I finally had to tell her she wasn’t getting any dates because her car & house smelled so bad.

Thanks for telling me my car smelled like wet dogs. I shampooed the whole frickin thing, including trunk. then
I came inside, shampooed the chair and couch, and sprinkled stardust on all the carpeting and vacuumed all that, including stairs. Wow, my place smells awesome and looks great!!

He who laughs first… laughs last! Is that how it goes? Grass was wet & slippery but i had 2 cut it anyway. It was getting dark. I was in a hurry. The deep slope out in front by the street. Going down the slippery slope is when it happened.. i watched as my Nikes went forward and i didnt. Boom! Hands slid off the mower… and all was quiet. Why is that old lady on the ground? Arent you supposed to mow the grass standing up? Right fanny cheek is sore, butt thats all

At Outback.  Dad is in the bathroom- I’M BORED! Rednecks sitting next to us- no teeth! Love, Mom

Backstory: My mom was telling me about how she had to use fertility drugs before getting pregnant with only me – not multiples.

i got all the happiness of eight babies in one. i just wish i could take all of that happiness, roll it into a ball, make it into butter, and spread it on my toast every morning.

I’m just trying to figure out what I’m going to do this weekend. The only big new movie opening is G-Force and that’s about the government hiring an elite squad of highly trained guinea pigs for the secret service. So I guess I won’t be going to the movies. At times like this I’m glad I no longer have little kids.

“My name is Bond. Fuzzy-Wuzzy Bond.”

Mum

Backstory: My mother is a medical doctor.

I found an excellent site to read about egg donation.  After reading it, I STRONGLY advise NOT doing it, even though it is better than prostitution.

The site is:  www.health.state.ny.us/publications/1127

Love,
Mom

I like Sketchers shoes. Are they dorky?? answer quickly as I’m on line wanting to order my third pair. The two I got are white and too cute to care if they are dorky, but the one I’m considering is black.

Backstory: My cousin’s kids are always sick, and my mom always uses it as a life lesson for my future parenting skills.

And if you ever have one super sick kid…even tho it’s your own damn fault…beings he was sick and then allowed to be in a water fight in the heat and play all damn day at the b-day party…but still find time to blog and facebook about it…Momma may have to come slap someone…

I’m going green. I even bought a pillow made out of recycled water bottles the other night to replace the one made out of recycled chicken feathers that were escaping and flying all over the bedroom. It’s like a chicken coop in there. I opened the door, feathers flew and I was scared of a cock fight.

Love,

mo

i forgot to tell you-i watched TWIGHLIGHT on the plane-i cried…..i LOVED him (what’s his name)? oy-vey what a great story…..how gorg is he?

i want him. who doesn’t.

what did you think about idol???

love, mom

Sorry I’m so useless. Thank u 4 ur help. Life would be much simpler if we were all chickens!

Backstory: I recently moved and have had a lot of trouble getting my mail forwarded to my new place.  Then today (in the middle of July) I got a package from my mother that was postmarked December 16, 2008.  It was a little angel pin with the rather ironic note, “Here’s an early Christmas gift!”

Well, happy Christmas in July!

Was she okay? Survived the long trip unscathed?

I can’t remember, I think she was cute.

Wonder what she’s been up to! Maybe someone took pictures of her like the garden gnome in Amelie in front of famous landmarks to show her travels.

What’s really amazing is how she found your condo! Maybe the tooth fairy gave her directions.