Dad Is Useful

« The World Needs My Outlook // Happy Fourth of July! Bring Your Own Bail Money. »

Backstory: My mom wages epic war with various wild creatures attempting to eat everything in her garden (urine of larger/predatory animals apparently does repels smaller animals).

me: AGH BIG ANT
KILL IIIIIIT.
where’s dad when i need him???
mom: hey, I need him here to pee on the garden fence.

Posted on 07.03.2009 at 1:00 pm

78 Likes +1

Leave a Comment »

1. travestine

… hope that wasn’t an electrified fence. Poor Dad!

July 5, 2009 at 1:06 pm

Reply

"I asked myself the same question many a time during my years of teaching teenage boys! Poor Mom and poor Mr. Harrison.
(No, I never had X is a Penishead written on a desk, thank goodness, but I did have to throw out a dozen textbooks at the end of the year at one point because just about every picture had been, ahem, similarly embellished.)"
— Anne
on "What Did I Do To Deserve This?"
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
  - thetanofa: When I first moved to NY from CA it was similar. In CA you can buy ANYTHING at the...
- Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name? (131)
  - thetanofa: Born in Sept. 1985 I was supposed to be Ashley, until my mother read Full Circle...
  - Jami: I have no idea where my mother got my name. But apparently she had a thing for...
- So It’s Not the Phone? (6)
  - nolalola26: Poor daughter! Sick AND worried her mom is losing her marbles??
- Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
  - nolalola26: This is adorable.
- Macho Died With Your Father (1)
  - Terry: Oh, Lordy! I have to send this to my mom and brother. In addition to 60 years of Field...
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 2. Something to Tell the Police +28
- 3. Macho Died With Your Father +8
- 4. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) +8
— view all —
- 1. Camel Toe Explained +67
- 2. So It’s Not the Phone? +61
- 3. That’s How Bad This Haircut Is. +42
- 4. At Least She Remembered to Wave +42
- 5. Freedom Through Dementia +41
- 6. How Twitter Works +38
- 7. The Meaning of Gray Hair +36
- 8. Urgent New Guy Questions +35
- 9. Goiters and Such +31
- 10. “Sex and Defenders” +30
— view all —
- 1. Dept. of Useless Kitchen Gadgetry +186
- 2. Special Delivery +146
- 3. Google as Mom Replacement +134
- 4. Safe Sex for Strangers +128
- 5. Looking for Woo Loo +126
- 6. High Tech Momflix +122
- 7. Thought You’d Appreciate My Coolness +121
- 8. Looking for a Happy Father’s Day +120
- 9. Friend With Benefits +118
- 10. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired +112
— view all —
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1413
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1093
- 3. Get me out of here! +994
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +955
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +927
- 6. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +895
- 7. What Mom Learned From AARP +893
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +839
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +813
- 10. Cleaning Out The Closet +772
— view all —
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 2. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- 3. "Sex and Defenders" (1)
- 4. Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- 5. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 6. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 7. "Sex and Defenders" (0)
- 8. (0)
- 9. Macho Died With Your Father (0)
- 10. Quake (0)
- 1. Airbrushed Makeup with Brian Champagne (7)
- 2. Old Dog Blues (7)
- 3. Give the Peace Sign a Chance (6)
- 4. So It's Not the Phone? (6)
- 5. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 6. That's How Bad This Haircut Is. (5)
- 7. Goiters and Such (5)
- 8. The Septic Tank Saga (Ft. Josh Groban) (4)
- 9. The Tao of Mom's Booty (3)
- 10. Just Say No to Vampire Fashion (3)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 2. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (25)
- 3. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired (23)
- 4. Today In Mom News: Does Yo Momma Have a Potty Mouth? (20)
- 5. Surprising Found Objects (19)
- 6. Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die? (19)
- 7. Today in Mom News: French Writer Says Motherhood Is Oppressive (13)
- 8. This is your mother speaking (13)
- 9. Bra Shopping with Mom (13)
- 10. Watch out for Spike (13)
- 1. Where Are You From? (178)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (97)
- 4. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
- 5. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (70)
- 6. And you are becoming a male hater (69)
- 7. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (64)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (51)
- 10. Obama's Speech Makes Muslim Mom Happy (47)
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website

email:

or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
search:
Tags

advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting tmi totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work

Dad Is Useful

Leave a Comment »

Have Your Say »

Tags

Dating

Entertainment

Friends

Food

Gardening

Funny

Travel

Moms

Weddings