So, after we left you on Friday night, back at the campground I realized I had forgotten to bring along my contact lens case, No problem, because teaspoons will substitute nicely, in an Emergency. Unfortunately, Dad had cereal for breakfast, and ate my left lens. He’s such a fun, alert guy to hang out with!
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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
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- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- The Joys of Aging (1)
- Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
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6 Months
All Time
- 1. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 2. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 3. I Have Fun Too +3
- 4. In Case of Charles Manson +2
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +17
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. New Year, New ‘Do +9
- 4. The Joys of Aging +9
- 5. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 6. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 7. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 8. Happy Milk Day +7
- 9. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
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- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 4. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 5. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 6. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 7. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +20
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer +18
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +950
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +910
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 2. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 3. Way Harsh, Mom (0)
- 4. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 5. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 6. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 7. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 8. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Seth Rogen, the Thinking Mom's Sex Symbol (2)
- 4. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 5. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 6. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 7. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. New Year, New 'Do (0)
- 10. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
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- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
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- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
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- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
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There seem to be a lack of communication skills in this mix.
July 14, 2009 at 12:47 pm
This is hilarious! Killer line at the end there!
July 14, 2009 at 2:10 pm
My BF and I returned to our hotel room (very late) and I realized I didn’t have my lens case so I put them in a glass of water. I told him 3 times my lenses were in there. Sure enough the next morning, empty glass of water. He said “I thought something was in that water”. I was just like, why would you drink a glass of water that was sitting on the counter in the first place!
July 14, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Wow. I lost my mom’s lens in a similar fashion on a camping trip when I was young. She was not nearly as cheery about it as this mom.
July 15, 2009 at 1:12 am
ummm this is hilarious :)
July 15, 2009 at 2:31 am
My brother ate one of my mom’s contacts when he was little. He told her he ate the blue M&M! This was before they made ble M&M’s!
July 16, 2009 at 11:34 am
oh man i’m laughing so hard i have tears squirting out of my eyes!! that last line is a killer!!
March 17, 2010 at 10:05 pm