omg–I did it.  I bought something from an infomercial.
And not only did I get one, if I ordered in the next 18 minutes they would sent two!
Are you wondering what it is?  The Instyler.  The new rotating hair polisher.  I hope I don’t hurt myself.

Oh and, you get one too!

love~~~mommie

Backstory: I got an abnormal pap smear result and my Jewish-Catholic-Buddhist mother sent me this e-mail ahead of my return to the doctor today.

Baby, I’ve already sent you thousands of positive energies, and I’ve wished on Archangel Raphael (the healing one) to bless you and protect you, and make you healthy soon, you know until you’re Kosher I won’t relax!!! LOVE YOU

Backstory: My mom and I text back and forth when we watch “The Bachelorette.” She sent me these text messages during Monday’s episode, in which Jillian (the Bachelorette) invites each of her three remaining suitors to spend the night with her in the “Fantasy Suite.”
Mom: Does she do each dude?
Mom: What else r these nites 4?
Mom: I’m hysterical! The dogs look worried

Just want to keep you updated: I have researched both our dogs for months and have confirmed… Jilly’s and Boo’s paws smell like Fritos!

Backstory: I had to cover an eco-festival as a photographer and I jokingly told my mom I would have to dig up a pair of Birkenstocks to wear so I would fit in.

Okay funny person why would I take computer classes when I have you?

Next question how do I forward a gmail sent to me to someone else?
Can’t find a “forward” button anywhere?!?!!?

And I forgot to ask how your “nature revival” or was it a “power flower fest” went yesterday. Did you have the right shoes? Did anyone have a “tie dye” shirt?

Most of all what did you learn?

I took my bike, PINKIE, out for a ride. I saw another women riding a bike very similar to mine. Could there be two PINKIES in this neighborhood? I should hope not!

So, after we left you on Friday night, back at the campground I realized I had forgotten to bring along my contact lens case,  No problem, because teaspoons will substitute nicely, in an Emergency.  Unfortunately, Dad had cereal for breakfast, and ate my left lens.  He’s such a fun, alert guy to hang out with!

Called my mom, she had a funny story about being out with Marge , and Marge got a pill stuck in her upper false teeth and had to take her teeth out in public. Mom was upset, but i thought it was funny.
Take care. Always fun to have you visit. MOM

I am scheduled to donate platelets on 8/8 and would like to bring you with me to also make a donation. They need whole blood and platelets. Do you know your blood type? That may determine what you donate.

Nothing is set in concrete so if you really don’t want to go with me, that’s fine. Just think about the mitzvah you would be doing by saving a life (no guilt here). I feel so fortunate and blessed to have 3 healthy children and not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

Let me know ASAP please. The appointments are in the morning so you would have the whole day free.

(I said I would go)

I’ll pick you up at 7:30. I’m so glad you are doing this with me. You can’t take aspirin 3 days prior and you need to drink lots (not alcohol!) before so your veins are nice and plump. They have told me it’s good to eat protein before so if you want to come the night before I’ll cook us steaks!

Trying bathing suits is traumatic….but I would suggest the following:  Buy something that’s so low cut, and so microscopic that no one will notice the suit, only your boobs and yur butt.
And, oh yes, buy a bright color.
Anything you need from here?
maman

have i told you lately how grateful i am for your existence? i forgive you for that awful labor, the episiotomy and those awful stitches, and even those 5 months of colic.

Maysie just pooped a bunch of clear plastic looking stuff. So it looks like I found your ear plugs. Ha’

The floor guys finally showed up. Two arent stoned. Floors look great though!

Backstory: My parents were engaged through their senior year of college, and got married the June right after graduation. I was born the following January, and turned out to be quite the partier.

So there is this calculator that determines when you were conceived.  Jacqui was conceived on 4-9-84, Justine was conceived
12-10-85 and Craig was conceived 10-7-89.  Wow Jac I was really drinking in April thank God you are normal!!!!!!!!

Sorry to bother you, but could you tell us who lady gaga is?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT TO PROSKA PARK FOR YOU BIRTHDAY AND YOU WALKED AROUND IN YOUR UNDERPANTS ONLY CAUSE IT WAS

SO HOT AND THEN WE HAD PIZZA DELIVERED. IT WAS LIKE THE PERFECT BIRTHDAY PARTY. HOPE YOUR DAY IS THAT MUCH FUN AGAIN!

LOVE MOM.