Mom: HEY BISH
Me: hiiii
Mom: WHAT ARE YOU DOING ….. WITH YOUR LIFE
Me: are the caps necessary?
Mom: B I T C H
Me: what a wonderful greeting when i get home
Mom: I do what I can
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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
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- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
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- The Joys of Aging (1)
- Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
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6 Months
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- 5. Happy Milk Day +8
- 6. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
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- 8. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 9. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
- 10. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +22
- 4. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 5. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 6. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 7. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer +18
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +951
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +911
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
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6 Months
All Time
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- 4. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 5. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 6. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 4. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 5. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 6. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 7. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Christ in a Clown Suit (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
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- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
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- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
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I love the intentional spacing between the letters: B I T C H. Sheer hilarity.
August 8, 2009 at 11:27 am
I’m really tired of these moms who swear at their children. Sorry. This one isn’t even funny.
August 9, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Eliz., have to agree. Instead of being tagged “sassy moms” it should be “trailer trash” moms!!
August 9, 2009 at 3:30 pm
It is unfortunate that you cannot accept that some moms are different from yours. My mother never swears at me but I have a friend whose mother has a crazy potty mouth because she learned English from her husband who cursed like mad. Doesn’t mean her mom loves her less than mine does, she just has a different vocabulary. Assuming they are “trailer trash” is also dismissive and super rude.
August 10, 2009 at 10:47 am
Wow, Elizabeth and L are a bit judgmental and yes, rude. Guess their prudish mommas didn’t teach them to keep their yaps shut if they don’t have anything nice to say! Oh well. Keep me laughing!
August 10, 2009 at 11:49 am
I am one of those prudish people who hardly ever swears, but I don’t expect other people around me to be the same. I respect the whole freedom of speech bit. I am thinking that this mom was just being funny and do not actually think her child is that kind of a person.
August 10, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Oh, you’re harshly judging me because you found me judgmental. How nice.
I certainly can accept that some moms are different from mine. I probably would have found a note from, for example, the potty-mouth mom you are referring to Julie, pretty funny if it had a backstory to give some context.
I guess I have just never found moms who casually (joking or not) call their child “bitch” all that funny. I come here for the funny, quirky notes from moms, and these ones miss the mark for me. Just my opinion, and I thought the editors should know.
August 10, 2009 at 8:40 pm
My 70 year old mother called me “bitch” this past week in jest. I didn’t like it then, I still don’t like it now. It’s inappropriate for a 70 year old to be acting like a 17 year old. Next thing I know she’ll, like, be using, like, the word “like”, like, all the time.
August 10, 2009 at 11:08 pm
i think the editors should know that this is VERY funny. mums trying to bond with/shock their younger children, using younger ruder jargon than usual. makes me laugh – precisely because of the age gap. controversial – i like. and just thought id mention i LOVE this website.
August 11, 2009 at 1:44 pm
It’s fine for mother’s to be “different”. I love the fact that it seems like mother’s and daughters are closer than ever. However, just because someone doesn’t think that calling their own daughter a bitch is acceptable doesn’t mean that she is “prudish”.
I mean my own blunt mother would probably actually say that the name “Tessa” is a “stripper name” if she saw it. In jest of course.
August 11, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Count me in with those who don’t think cursing at your children is funny. When I read this one initially, I didn’t get the humour either. Still don’t. It’s not about being “prudish” – it’s about dignity. There are places mothers shouldn’t go with their children and cursing at their children, even in jest, is one of those places. JMHO
August 11, 2009 at 11:34 pm
omg, best one yet
August 12, 2009 at 12:49 am
Oooo, I like the idea that someone would think my name is a stripper name! NOW I know what that pole was for growing up! I thought it was because Daddy was a fireman! Silly me! Tee-hee!
;)
August 12, 2009 at 11:49 am
Ahahahahaha! This is great. Especially the non-caps “I do what I can.” Love it!
August 12, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I personally think this is hysterical. If my mom sent this to me i’d laugh forever.
some mother-daughter relationships are different, and swearing doesn’t mean you’re “trash”.
August 14, 2009 at 8:09 pm
It’s hilarious, and appears that Mom is just high on life and having some fun with her daughter. I’m with Kelsey, if that appeared in my chat I would have just about died laughing and played along to see what else she’d say!
August 15, 2009 at 10:25 am
Tessa–you are hilarious! My best friend really does have a stripper name that her mother gave her in lieu of the other stripper name that she wanted to give her…
August 15, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Aivilo, why is it “inappropriate” for a senior to act young? Is there some code of conduct for each age group that we all have to abide by?
Furthermore, I don’t see anything wrong with the playful swearing. Friends do it all the time; why are parents not allowed to act like friends to their adult offspring?
Granted, it wouldn’t be appropriate if the daughter were a child, but somehow I don’t think that’s the case. So why bother with the Behaviour Police act?
August 25, 2009 at 7:17 pm