Backstory: Mom works at a university with a young Greek fella she thinks would be a good match for me, and she emailed me to announce his recent return from vacation. When talking to me, she refers to him oh-so-discreetly as “Greek Salad.”

Saw him and said “Welcome back.” His voice is a bit high but I doubt he is gay since I saw him almost lose his eyeballs looking at a female student with olive skin and long dark, straight hair. Of course, he could just be trying to see if he knew her. He is so committed to causes and good works; he is Saint Salad.