There are PLENTY of nice young men out there who will love you. But will you love THEM? N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! They’re too boring. They’re too emotionally mature. Ditto to being too stable. They’re not in bands. They’re too rich. They’re not psychopaths! They only want to adore one person-YOU-for the rest of your life. Oy! Where are the Tums?