Your idiot brother bought a tortoise. I am so angry. He knows in a very clear way that I don’t want pets in my house. Plus it needs a light on all the time and so is living in Dave’s room where I sleep a few nights a week, that will have to change. Would like him to return it.
Tortoise Rage
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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
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- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- The Joys of Aging (1)
- Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 2. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 3. I Have Fun Too +4
- 4. Mom’s Hip with the Lingo +0
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +17
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. The Joys of Aging +9
- 4. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 5. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 6. Happy Milk Day +7
- 7. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 8. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 9. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
- 10. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 4. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 5. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 6. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 7. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +20
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer +18
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +950
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +910
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
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Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 2. Way Harsh, Mom (0)
- 3. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 4. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 5. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 6. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 7. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Seth Rogen, the Thinking Mom's Sex Symbol (2)
- 4. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 5. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 6. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 7. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (72)
- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
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