Backstory: This is my mom’s response to comments on the email from her I’d sent in that was posted on here.
mom: Hello! Back in the late ’60′s and ’70′s when I was dating, “the pill” was the best form of birth control. And we didn’t know about AIDS yet, so condoms weren’t so widely promoted for “safe sex.”
mom: Besides — how many of THEM have read “The Joy of Sex.” PLUS the sequel, “More Joy of Sex.’
mom: YoMomma has. :-)
me: so what’s the joy of sex then? I’m assuming condoms aren’t part of that?
mom: Let’s just say that after reading the first book, you’d never be able to look at goldfish (the fish, not the cracker) or green grapes the same way
goldfish?!?!
December 4, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I was traumatized when I found my mom’s “Joy of Sex” book!
December 4, 2009 at 3:15 pm
DO NOT WANT!
December 4, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Eeww!!
December 4, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I’ve read them both.
December 4, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Oops. I meant to add:
. . . and I don’t remember goldfish or grapes being involved. I think your mom still has some explaining to do.
December 4, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Wow! Sounds like mom needs a better sense of humor!
December 5, 2009 at 12:17 am
Heather – Better sense of humor for what? Some of the comments on the other post could be taken as kinda mean…And she ended by saying something funny enough that this post could get on the site too!
Juno – she swears she read about it! And later asked well did I want to know why about the goldfish and grapes…! So far I’ve declined but I may need to find out now I guess cause all I can imagine is that people can feed eachother grapes in bed so maybe the really kinky people feed eachother goldfish in bed? LOL
December 5, 2009 at 2:14 am
Oh, also, to Heather – it helps get the tone of the first part to know how my mom talks…the “hello!” was in her “teenager” voice…the fake valley girl voice she made up to sound like I did when I was 16 and I’d say something like “well, hell-O, like, duh!” I should’ve put that in the background to make it seem less confrontational and laid back but I didn’t know how to explain it short. I don’t summarize well! lol
December 5, 2009 at 2:22 am
Bella – no explanations needed. It made me laugh. I read both books and I get it. Not the food part, but the whole idea. Your mom sounds fun.
December 5, 2009 at 3:36 pm
some of these comments are so bitchy (i’m looking at you, heather). go back and look at the comments on the original post, all of which were laughing at the mom’s expense when really they just misinterpreted which part of the nylons was used.
i think this mom sounds so cute!
December 5, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Amen, Sam. I wish someone would explain on here what goldfish and green grapes have to do with the joy of sex… although maybe it’s better if i don’t know so that my view of them isn’t altered forever!
December 6, 2009 at 9:08 am
From what an ex-boyfriend once told me, you practise tonguing grapes inside your mouth (I’m can’t remember if you’re supposed to try to peel them or what) to boost your proficiency at oral sex — guess kind of like weight training for the tongue. The only thing I’ve ever read about goldfish was from a scene in the book “Lace” eons ago when the hot-but-cruel lover was using one to perform the vaginal sex version of hamstering.
December 6, 2009 at 11:46 am
Anyone seen the classic Japanese movie “Tampopo”? Goldfish were used … creatively … there.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tampopo
December 6, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Hamstering?!
I’ve NEVER heard of hamstering but now I’m super fearful that animals were harmed during the making of that sex game…!
December 6, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Hey Bella,
No worries — I believe that’s it’s pretty much physically impossible and is a total urban myth:) Much easier to go with a vibrator! And same goes for the goldfish — way too damn slippery!
December 6, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Haha, Heather is the one needing a humour transplant, this mum is amazing :)
December 7, 2009 at 10:01 am
Be careful girlfriend, Yo Mamma is going to stop emailing you if you keep posting her emails on here!! LOL… Good story.
December 7, 2009 at 11:27 am