There are twelve days of Christmas for a good reason! So, don’t stress about presents. We have a major problem here with a squirrel who fell down the living room chimney and is wedged behind a metal damper. The fire chief has been here and an animal control officer who lowered a trap down from the top, not him personally because he weighs 300 pounds, but that was two days ago and the animal is still there, moaning. It’s awful and I can’t go in the living room so no T.V., no plant time and no piano. Your father is planning to borrow a gun to shoot down from the top of the chimney tomorrow or I think we may have to move out. Love, Mum
-
"I asked myself the same question many a time during my years of teaching teenage boys! Poor Mom and poor Mr. Harrison.
(No, I never had X is a Penishead written on a desk, thank goodness, but I did have to throw out a dozen textbooks at the end of the year at one point because just about every picture had been, ahem, similarly embellished.)"— Anne
-
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
- thetanofa: When I first moved to NY from CA it was similar. In CA you can buy ANYTHING at the...
- Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name? (131)
- So It’s Not the Phone? (6)
- nolalola26: Poor daughter! Sick AND worried her mom is losing her marbles??
- Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- nolalola26: This is adorable.
- Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- Terry: Oh, Lordy! I have to send this to my mom and brother. In addition to 60 years of Field...
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
-
-
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 2. Something to Tell the Police +28
- 3. Macho Died With Your Father +8
- 4. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) +8
- 1. Camel Toe Explained +67
- 2. So It’s Not the Phone? +60
- 3. That’s How Bad This Haircut Is. +42
- 4. At Least She Remembered to Wave +42
- 5. Freedom Through Dementia +41
- 6. How Twitter Works +38
- 7. The Meaning of Gray Hair +36
- 8. Urgent New Guy Questions +35
- 9. Goiters and Such +31
- 10. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 1. Dept. of Useless Kitchen Gadgetry +186
- 2. Special Delivery +146
- 3. Google as Mom Replacement +134
- 4. Safe Sex for Strangers +128
- 5. Looking for Woo Loo +126
- 6. High Tech Momflix +122
- 7. Thought You’d Appreciate My Coolness +121
- 8. Looking for a Happy Father’s Day +120
- 9. Friend With Benefits +118
- 10. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired +112
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1413
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1093
- 3. Get me out of here! +994
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +955
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +927
- 6. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +895
- 7. What Mom Learned From AARP +893
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +839
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +813
- 10. Cleaning Out The Closet +772
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 2. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- 3. "Sex and Defenders" (1)
- 4. Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- 5. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 6. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 7. "Sex and Defenders" (0)
- 8. (0)
- 9. Macho Died With Your Father (0)
- 10. Quake (0)
- 1. Airbrushed Makeup with Brian Champagne (7)
- 2. Old Dog Blues (7)
- 3. Give the Peace Sign a Chance (6)
- 4. So It's Not the Phone? (6)
- 5. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 6. That's How Bad This Haircut Is. (5)
- 7. Goiters and Such (5)
- 8. The Septic Tank Saga (Ft. Josh Groban) (4)
- 9. The Tao of Mom's Booty (3)
- 10. Just Say No to Vampire Fashion (3)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 2. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (25)
- 3. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired (23)
- 4. Today In Mom News: Does Yo Momma Have a Potty Mouth? (20)
- 5. Surprising Found Objects (19)
- 6. Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die? (19)
- 7. Today in Mom News: French Writer Says Motherhood Is Oppressive (13)
- 8. This is your mother speaking (13)
- 9. Bra Shopping with Mom (13)
- 10. Watch out for Spike (13)
- 1. Where Are You From? (178)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (97)
- 4. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
- 5. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (70)
- 6. And you are becoming a male hater (69)
- 7. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (64)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (51)
- 10. Obama's Speech Makes Muslim Mom Happy (47)
-
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
-
Tags
advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting tmi totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work
[...] I Think We May Have To Move Out » Postcards From Yo Momma [...]
December 15, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Umm, don’t try the gun thing, Dad.
December 15, 2009 at 4:19 pm
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…4 shotgun blasts, 3 hundredpoundguyonthe roof, 2 days of hell and a squirrel moaning on the hearth!
December 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm
How about no more terrible animal stories of suffering? Thx!
December 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm
A squirrel fell down a chimney in a house I was sharing with three other people in grad school. We called our landlord, who spent at least two hours with her (prodigious) bum in the air, poking a broom up the flue and swearing. No one could get him out. We put some food and water in the fireplace, and eventually the squirrel came down of his own accord. He made some awful sounds while up there, though. I completely sympathize with your mom.
December 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm
This….was completely depressing. I’m going to go sit in the corner…alone…now.
December 16, 2009 at 12:10 am
Yeah… my first response would have been food…. not shootin down at it… really didn’t find it funny…… sorry
December 16, 2009 at 2:12 am
Look y’all, I’m a squirrel hunter, so while I sympathize with this story, you gotta be practical. This is not pretty but if the squirrel is stuck, giving it food is not going to help. It’ll just keep it alive and squealing (barking, actually) longer. If you absolutely can’t get it out, it will find a way out if possible when it’s desperate enough. If not, it’ll die in there and your house will stink to high heaven for a couple of weeks.
I’m sure the gun thing was a joke, but just in case — do not, under any circumstances, fire anything larger than a BB gun down (or up) the chimney. And I wouldn’t even try the BB gun.
December 16, 2009 at 10:07 am
Couldn’t he just attach a weight to a rope and lower it down? then the squirell could just scurry up the rope.
December 16, 2009 at 4:38 pm
That is an excellent idea Erik. I hope they try something like that, otherwise if it dies they need to build a really big fire and cook that sucker so it doesn’t stink up the whole house. Roasted squirrel, hmmmm.
December 16, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Haha i was thinking the same thing… shooting down is NOt a good idea!
December 16, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Update, please!!!! What happened to the squirrell??
December 23, 2009 at 12:07 pm
[...] I Think We May Have To Move Out » Postcards From Yo Momma [...]
January 12, 2010 at 1:08 pm