There are twelve days of Christmas for a good reason! So, don’t stress about presents. We have a major problem here with a squirrel who fell down the living room chimney and is wedged behind a metal damper. The fire chief has been here and an animal control officer who lowered a trap down from the top, not him personally because he weighs 300 pounds, but that was two days ago and the animal is still there, moaning. It’s awful and I can’t go in the living room so no T.V., no plant time and no piano. Your father is planning to borrow a gun to shoot down from the top of the chimney tomorrow or I think we may have to move out. Love, Mum
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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
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[...] I Think We May Have To Move Out » Postcards From Yo Momma [...]
December 15, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Umm, don’t try the gun thing, Dad.
December 15, 2009 at 4:19 pm
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…4 shotgun blasts, 3 hundredpoundguyonthe roof, 2 days of hell and a squirrel moaning on the hearth!
December 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm
How about no more terrible animal stories of suffering? Thx!
December 15, 2009 at 7:13 pm
A squirrel fell down a chimney in a house I was sharing with three other people in grad school. We called our landlord, who spent at least two hours with her (prodigious) bum in the air, poking a broom up the flue and swearing. No one could get him out. We put some food and water in the fireplace, and eventually the squirrel came down of his own accord. He made some awful sounds while up there, though. I completely sympathize with your mom.
December 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm
This….was completely depressing. I’m going to go sit in the corner…alone…now.
December 16, 2009 at 12:10 am
Yeah… my first response would have been food…. not shootin down at it… really didn’t find it funny…… sorry
December 16, 2009 at 2:12 am
Look y’all, I’m a squirrel hunter, so while I sympathize with this story, you gotta be practical. This is not pretty but if the squirrel is stuck, giving it food is not going to help. It’ll just keep it alive and squealing (barking, actually) longer. If you absolutely can’t get it out, it will find a way out if possible when it’s desperate enough. If not, it’ll die in there and your house will stink to high heaven for a couple of weeks.
I’m sure the gun thing was a joke, but just in case — do not, under any circumstances, fire anything larger than a BB gun down (or up) the chimney. And I wouldn’t even try the BB gun.
December 16, 2009 at 10:07 am
Couldn’t he just attach a weight to a rope and lower it down? then the squirell could just scurry up the rope.
December 16, 2009 at 4:38 pm
That is an excellent idea Erik. I hope they try something like that, otherwise if it dies they need to build a really big fire and cook that sucker so it doesn’t stink up the whole house. Roasted squirrel, hmmmm.
December 16, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Haha i was thinking the same thing… shooting down is NOt a good idea!
December 16, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Update, please!!!! What happened to the squirrell??
December 23, 2009 at 12:07 pm
[...] I Think We May Have To Move Out » Postcards From Yo Momma [...]
January 12, 2010 at 1:08 pm