I’m texting you because you didn’t answer the land line twice so I thought you must be lying unconscious with carbon monoxide poisoning.
-
"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
-
- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- The Joys of Aging (1)
- Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
-
-
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +18
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. The Joys of Aging +9
- 4. Way Harsh, Mom +9
- 5. Happy Milk Day +8
- 6. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 7. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 8. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 9. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
- 10. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 4. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +22
- 5. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 6. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 7. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Which One Wants to Pull the Plug? +18
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +951
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +911
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 2. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 3. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 4. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 5. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 6. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 7. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Christ in a Clown Suit (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (72)
- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
-
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
-
Tags
advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pooping pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work
That worst case scenario engine comes with the territory of Motherhood. GO CRAZY!!!
January 20, 2010 at 1:03 pm
I can just imagine the local emergency services have this mom’s name and number posted on their walls with the explanation that she’s a frequent customer, so to speak.
January 21, 2010 at 9:40 am
My Mom is deaf and really really good at the text messaging. If you dont answer her right away, she gets worried and send you 47,000 messages…. I finally explained that if I dont answer right way it doesnt mean I’m dead…. just not able to answer. She still sends me 47.000 messages.
January 22, 2010 at 7:35 pm
How is a text going to help her child from dying in the carbon monoxide?
January 24, 2010 at 10:18 am
this is totally my mother in law.
January 25, 2010 at 11:20 am
Oh, c’mon, commenters 2 and 4–the mother is joking! Even mothers have a sense of humor.
February 4, 2010 at 6:17 am