Mom: One of the boys at school found my home phone number and called and left a dirty message about what he wants to do with my ass.
Me: Really?? What did he say?
Mom: I don’t know something about he wants to pop it, or spank it.
Why would he like my ass?
Me: What exactly did it say, humor me.
Mom: Yo, Mrs.— I’m going to pop a cap in your ass.
Me: Omg Mom that means he wants to kill you.
Mom: Really? I thought he liked me.
Head of the (Cl)ass
Leave a Comment »
-
"I asked myself the same question many a time during my years of teaching teenage boys! Poor Mom and poor Mr. Harrison.
(No, I never had X is a Penishead written on a desk, thank goodness, but I did have to throw out a dozen textbooks at the end of the year at one point because just about every picture had been, ahem, similarly embellished.)"— Anne
-
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
- thetanofa: When I first moved to NY from CA it was similar. In CA you can buy ANYTHING at the...
- Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child’s Name? (131)
- So It’s Not the Phone? (6)
- nolalola26: Poor daughter! Sick AND worried her mom is losing her marbles??
- Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- nolalola26: This is adorable.
- Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- Terry: Oh, Lordy! I have to send this to my mom and brother. In addition to 60 years of Field...
- Jug o’ Sangria (4)
-
-
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 2. Something to Tell the Police +28
- 3. Macho Died With Your Father +8
- 4. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) +8
- 1. Camel Toe Explained +67
- 2. So It’s Not the Phone? +61
- 3. That’s How Bad This Haircut Is. +42
- 4. At Least She Remembered to Wave +42
- 5. Freedom Through Dementia +41
- 6. How Twitter Works +38
- 7. The Meaning of Gray Hair +36
- 8. Urgent New Guy Questions +35
- 9. Goiters and Such +31
- 10. “Sex and Defenders” +30
- 1. Dept. of Useless Kitchen Gadgetry +186
- 2. Special Delivery +146
- 3. Google as Mom Replacement +134
- 4. Safe Sex for Strangers +128
- 5. Looking for Woo Loo +126
- 6. High Tech Momflix +122
- 7. Thought You’d Appreciate My Coolness +121
- 8. Looking for a Happy Father’s Day +120
- 9. Friend With Benefits +118
- 10. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired +112
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1413
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1093
- 3. Get me out of here! +994
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +955
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +927
- 6. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +895
- 7. What Mom Learned From AARP +893
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +839
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +813
- 10. Cleaning Out The Closet +772
-
Past 7 Days
Past 30 Days
6 Months
All Time
- 1. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 2. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (1)
- 3. "Sex and Defenders" (1)
- 4. Macho Died With Your Father (1)
- 5. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 6. Blind Date (Just as a Friend) (0)
- 7. "Sex and Defenders" (0)
- 8. (0)
- 9. Macho Died With Your Father (0)
- 10. Quake (0)
- 1. Airbrushed Makeup with Brian Champagne (7)
- 2. Old Dog Blues (7)
- 3. Give the Peace Sign a Chance (6)
- 4. So It's Not the Phone? (6)
- 5. Something to Tell the Police (6)
- 6. That's How Bad This Haircut Is. (5)
- 7. Goiters and Such (5)
- 8. The Septic Tank Saga (Ft. Josh Groban) (4)
- 9. The Tao of Mom's Booty (3)
- 10. Just Say No to Vampire Fashion (3)
- 1. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 2. Today in Mom News: Not Realizing You're Preggo (25)
- 3. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired (23)
- 4. Today In Mom News: Does Yo Momma Have a Potty Mouth? (20)
- 5. Surprising Found Objects (19)
- 6. Would You Like the Mounted Antlers When I Die? (19)
- 7. Today in Mom News: French Writer Says Motherhood Is Oppressive (13)
- 8. This is your mother speaking (13)
- 9. Bra Shopping with Mom (13)
- 10. Watch out for Spike (13)
- 1. Where Are You From? (178)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (131)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (97)
- 4. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (71)
- 5. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (70)
- 6. And you are becoming a male hater (69)
- 7. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (64)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (51)
- 10. Obama's Speech Makes Muslim Mom Happy (47)
-
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
-
Tags
advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting tmi totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work


















Aw, poor mom!
January 29, 2010 at 10:14 am
Oh, my.
January 29, 2010 at 12:46 pm
wow…scary.
January 29, 2010 at 2:38 pm
A friend of mine called a random number from a pay phone in our high school and did that on an answering machine. His was just a joke, but they figured out it was him and still he narrowly escaped prosecution for making death threats. Hopefully someone can get this kid some help because he is obviously not playing with a full deck.
January 30, 2010 at 1:12 am
I’m with you Dory, not funny and quite frightening.
January 30, 2010 at 10:49 am
too funny!! x
February 1, 2010 at 6:35 am
WOAH! Does she know who this kid is?! Call the cops!
February 1, 2010 at 9:25 am
I’d kick the crap out of a kid if he threatened my mother >:(
February 5, 2010 at 12:06 pm