Head of the (Cl)ass » Postcards From Yo Momma

« A Very Important Question // Where Did You Go? (On AIM) »

Head of the (Cl)ass

Mom: One of the boys at school found my home phone number and called and left a dirty message about what he wants to do with my ass.
Me: Really?? What did he say?
Mom: I don’t know something about he wants to pop it, or spank it.
Why would he like my ass?
Me: What exactly did it say, humor me.
Mom: Yo, Mrs.— I’m going to pop a cap in your ass.
Me: Omg Mom that means he wants to kill you.
Mom: Really? I thought he liked me.

Tagged: school, slang, work

Posted on 01.29.2010 at 9:30 am

Leave a Comment »

1. Jess

Aw, poor mom!

January 29, 2010 at 10:14 am

Reply
2. Terry

Oh, my.

January 29, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Reply
3. katzkid

wow…scary.

January 29, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Reply
4. dorys

A friend of mine called a random number from a pay phone in our high school and did that on an answering machine. His was just a joke, but they figured out it was him and still he narrowly escaped prosecution for making death threats. Hopefully someone can get this kid some help because he is obviously not playing with a full deck.

January 30, 2010 at 1:12 am

Reply
5. Little Lemon

I’m with you Dory, not funny and quite frightening.

January 30, 2010 at 10:49 am

Reply
6. Lizzie

too funny!! x

February 1, 2010 at 6:35 am

Reply
7. Julie

WOAH! Does she know who this kid is?! Call the cops!

February 1, 2010 at 9:25 am

Reply
8. Alexis

I’d kick the crap out of a kid if he threatened my mother >:(

February 5, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Reply

Love, Mom

"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
on "Home Cookin’"
- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
  - A Mom: We do this because we think about you all the time. We run-on our sentences, eschew...
  - KMc: My mom sends emails like this too! She writes in her own shorthand language that I...
  - Patrick: I think the response ‘roger’ is appropriate.
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
  - Cat: hahaha that’s my mom! :-)
  - Terry: Laughing, soda dripping down my chin.
- The Joys of Aging (1)
  - Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 2. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 3. I Have Fun Too +4
- 4. Mom’s Hip with the Lingo +0
— view all —
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +17
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. The Joys of Aging +9
- 4. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 5. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 6. Happy Milk Day +7
- 7. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 8. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 9. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
- 10. In Case of Charles Manson +5
— view all —
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 4. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 5. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 6. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 7. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +20
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer +18
— view all —
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +950
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +910
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
— view all —
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 2. Way Harsh, Mom (0)
- 3. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 4. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 5. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 6. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 7. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Seth Rogen, the Thinking Mom's Sex Symbol (2)
- 4. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 5. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 6. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 7. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (72)
- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
Fan of Postcards? Sign up for email updates about our book/website

email:

or let us know you like the site by becoming a fan of ours on Facebook, following us on twitter or subscribing to our rss feed.
search:
Tags

advice Animals appearance Babies birthdays Christmas college dads dating death dogs dreams drinking drugs facebook family food gifts grandmothers grandparents health holidays jobs memories men missing you pets pets and animals pooping pop culture relationships school sex shopping siblings slang technology texting totally random travel tv vices weather weddings work