That’s Not My Name!

Backstory: We checked my birth certificate, I was right- it’s “Claire”.

Mom: Clare- Take out trash and empty dishwasher
Me: Wow, the person who named me doesn’t know how to spell my name, what a joke. I believe my birth certificate says “Claire”, I also believe I have been spelling my name “Claire” for the last 17 years.
Mom: Actually I believe your birth certificate says “Clare”…. so are you going to take out the trash and empty the dishwasher?
Me: You’re kidding, right?
Mom: No… now go take out the trash!

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    • 1.  Trixie

      That’s okay, my mother doesn’t know what year I was born in. In court documents she listed the year I was born as two years after I was actually born. She didn’ t realise she had made a mistake!

      February 23, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    • 2.  Stephanie

      That is one of the funniest things I have ever seen! I love it.

      February 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    • 3.  Anne

      Ooh, nothing like misspelling a name to get under someone’s skin!

      My family has a history of birth certificate name vs. actual name issues: my aunt’s birth certificate has her name badly mangled on it because my great-grandmother was the one to fill it out and hadn’t bothered to ask how the name was spelled, and my great-uncle went through most of his life wishing his middle name and first name had been reversed, only to find out when he applied for social security that they actually were.

      February 23, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    • 4.  Katie

      Haha, ironically, I believe technically, that name has been spelled three different ways in my family, even though my Grandma insists that she spells her middle name “Clare” and thus gave her daughter that name, the birth certificate may or may not say “Clair.” My sister? Claire. All the vowels. =)

      February 23, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    • 5.  Jeannie

      My grandfather didn’t know that his middle name was Roy until he was in his 40s! He also thought it was LeRoy, after his father and even used that on documents. Then he checked his birth certificate and….oops!

      February 23, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    • 6.  Lesath

      My great-grandmother went through her entire life being called Jean, and has three generations of descendants named Jean after her. It was only in her 40s, when she needed her birth records for some official matter, that she discovered that her name was actually Jane. Her mother was an Irish immigrant to Scotland, and everyone had assumed that “Jane” was just her mother pronouncing “Jean” in an Irish accent.

      February 24, 2010 at 8:11 am

    • 7.  Chocochi

      My uncle found out when he when he got his driver’s licence that his birthday is actually 3 days before what he thought it was. My grandmother said: “Well I can’t be expected to remember everything correctly you know! I had 6 kids!”

      My mother also forgot how she spelt my sister’s name on the birth certificate and had to get it sent through to find out before my sister went to school and learnt how to write her own name.

      My grandmother grew up thinking her name was Muriel, when in actual fact it was her second middle name.

      When my grandfather was 63 he found out that he was adopted and had three brother and sisters.

      February 26, 2010 at 4:30 am

    • 8.  EarleyDaysYet

      My mother’s middle name is spelled wrong because the small-town doctor was drunk; same doctor wrote June instead of May on my uncle’s birth certificate, so there’s always been “B’s Birthday” & “B’s DOB”.

      February 28, 2010 at 9:19 am

    • 9.  Fanboy Wife

      My mother and grandmother both have “Joan” as a name, but it’s pronounced “Jo Ann” instead. I don’t know how that one happened.

      February 28, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    • 10.  Sara

      The case before mine at small claims court (I was there for my employer, who was suing an ex-employee for money he borrowed from my boss) was a man who didn’t have a legal name at all! His parents couldn’t decide on a name before they left the hospital so his birth certificate only listed his last name! He applied for a passport and they wouldn’t accept a blank birth certificate, so he had to legally change his name to ‘John Bob Doe’!

      March 5, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    • 11.  Laura

      My grandmother is also a “Joan” that insists that it’s pronounced “Jo-ann”! Maybe that was how they rolled back in the day?

      March 13, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    • 12.  Saz

      One of our customers at my work is called Rick. His full name is Rictor, because his dad was too soused to spell “Victor” properly.

      March 15, 2010 at 7:33 am

    • 13.  Mikai

      My father and pretty much my whole family say and spell my name wrong. Its sad. I would go by my middle name but its just as bad “Lecita”. My grandmother’s name is wrong on her birth certificate and my grandfather has 2 birthdays- the day he was told he was born and the actual day he was born.

      April 14, 2010 at 5:39 pm

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Love, Mom