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OK. So I have a recurring dream that I can pull some of my bottom teeth out and then put them back in. So, last night when that thought came in my head as I was dreaming, I remember thinking, oh yeah, that only happens in dreams. Let me check it out. So I did, pulled one of my bottom teeth out and put it back…always worried that it won’t stay in though.
Weird.
XXX,
Mom
Backstory: My mom sent me a link to the music video for “Uprising” by the band Muse, with the subject line “We do this song at Jazzercize”
Mom: Very cool song, they use it for the theme for the TV show “V”. The video is kind of disturbing. Makes me think of the Snuggle Bear gone amok
Me: Mom, you can’t like Muse. I like Muse, and it just can’t be cool to like the same song as your daughter.
Mom: okay, I don’t like Muse. I like his/her/their SONG!
We’ve reorganized our blogroll (scroll down to the bottom of the page to check it out!), and we’d love to add more blogs. If you’re interested in being added, and you want to add us in return, shoot us an email with a short description of your site. Thanks!
why would a young girl wear a short skirt and no utrow? in fact, why would anyone NOT wear utrow? this is bothering me. gross and not very hygienic.
Backstory: After writing a long email to me, this is the closing or signature (instead of “love,”) from my Mom.
I love you to pieces and to mieces, to veggies and wedgies, to Santa and Fanta, fall and tall, fitness and witness, prairie dogs and big fat hogs, etc. (that’s not at all as good as what I wrote Ben. I’m in a hurry, so I’ll have to scurry.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxMama
Backstory: My boss tells me at work one afternoon, “Don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re not stubborn.” I e-mailed my mom the boss’ exact quote, knowing she’d love to hear this. This is my mom’s response via e-mail.
No Shit.
You might be stubborn, but I know you came by it honestly.
I imagine there’s more than one teacher who had to hit the bottle after thouroughly explaining to your complete satisfaction whatever the concept being taught that day happened to be. I always got satisfaction from knowing that they were earning every penny they made because, by golly, you made sure you understood what there was to learn. Because of that, my dear, you will always be successful.
If you use it to your advantage , you’ll go far.
I love you
Momma
Backstory: I e-mailed my mom the cast list of a movie I’d gotten an “Extra” role in. This email was her reply.
YOU BETTER try and get a part in this movie, these men are fine, make a good impression, I will be praying for you, this is GREEEEAT!!!!!
PS If all else fails give them your MOMMA number and i will come and ACT A FOOOLLLL !!!!!!!!
Backstory: I’m the out-of-work Democratic daughter of Republican parents.
Did you apply for unemployment, by the way? or do you still not qualify? Dad has paid into this program for years and paid a fortune doing so, so take advantage of it, please!! (This does not make him a liberal, rather one of those whom the government is trying to redistribute his wealth, so it might as well be redistributed to you.)
Instead of iron cookware, would you like the mechanized toothbrush for
your birthday?
Lots of questions, need answers.
Love, MOM
Sweetie,
Here are some sleeping kitty pics. I’m enjoying this camera that Peter sent for my birthday.
Thanks for all the info you sent. So, mother-in-law is still from Hell, I hoped that would resolve. In my case it never did, but i had hope for you. Actually, it did resolve…when she died.
Love Mom
ok, so less than 30 min ago you asked me to ‘dig out’ something or other for you…. I vaguely remember saying no problem…. but what the h is it?????? please let me know again…. sorry you have such a spastic mom !!! I do love you though, does that count for anything???
I just have no idea what it was!
Love you tons, see you soon! MOM :)XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Backstory: My mom is addicted to the Shopping Channel.
Mom: Hey guess what I bought? These gloves that, when you wash a potato while wearing them, they scrub the potato skin off for you! Neat!
Me: Mum, you like potatoes with the skins on. You always go on about how the only healthy part of a potato is the skin.
Mom: OMG you’re right! What have I done!
Also — When is your next large-item garbage pickup? I managed to stab the bar refrigerator last night, and now it is dead. Would like to bring it over to your alley.
Just passed my mammo and sonogram but my boobies are really pissed!
Love
M
Mom: im going to check fb real quick and then i will lay down with dad
Me: ew i don’t want to hear about that
Mom: not like that you freak!
Mom: too much freud
Me: question,LOL, in Grade 2 did I ever come home complaining about some kid trying to give me CPR?
Mom: gees you really do sound like you are in a good mood. No, you never shared that trauma on me. Who was the kid? CRP or just the ‘R’ part which stands for respirations meaning mouth to mouth. Was it a pick up line for a Grade 2 kid.
Me: He was just telling me about this, I don’t remember it happening actually. I think he dreamed it.
Mom: The question is.. Is he single? Does he want to try an updated version of CPR?
Backstory: Like every other college grad, I’m looking for a job. Thank goodness Mom is there to reassure me of my most important skills.
Hi Sweetie – it doesn’t look like the MediSpa job is posted on Monster or JobNoggin so that’s great news. The more narrow the circulation the better.
I did see that Noodles is looking for happy “shiny” people. You are the poster child for shiny. :)
Love you
Mum
This one is sure to provoke some interesting conversation: The Times of London has an interview with French author Elisabeth Badinter, who argues in a new book that “women have thrown off the shackles of male domination only to impose a far more pernicious tyranny on themselves—that of their own children.” Intense! Badinter believes that women put their children first, to the detriment of their own lives. She also says that mothers feel too much guilt about everything, and should “Give the baby a bottle and have a drink and a smoke, too, if it takes your fancy.” What do you all think about Badinter’s philosophy?
Is there any chance you would go to a quilting meeting with nana from 7-9 tonight? She is out of control in the bitch department and maybe this will get her out of her element, which seems to be only hassling papa. let me know,
thanks, me
Backstory: I have lived in Brooklyn for 15 years and am about to get tenure at my job. This is my Japanese mom’s supportive message from Canada. No idea why she starts by referring to me in the third person.
If Sophia gets tenure, that means
we will spend our remaining years in two different countries far away from each other. That thought always makes us sad. Our sadness will make our life shorter, and is that what you want?
Okay, [Grandmother] just “friended” me on FB and I’m not happy about it–confirmed with a disclaimer that my stuff will probably upset her.
So, I realized if I feel this way it would be similar for you all, so no friend request will be coming from me. The other weird thing is I just posted this youtube video on my wall this morning before I got her request. SOOOOO WEIRD!!!!
This is a very strange day….
