Backstory: Since this is my mother’s first grandchild, she’s still getting used to the idea of parenting as a spectator’s sport.

Me: Here is a copy of the program for A’s ballet recital.  I don’t have many addresses here at work so please forward this on to M and K for me.

Mom: Is A only in the Butterfly one?

Me: If you are referring to performance 19 of 26 you would be correct…  Make sure to go to the bathroom and eat something before we go.

Mom: So, what you are trying to say is that we have to make nice and sit through every tap dancin’, glitter-spewing, fall down balling, pageant on crack event until we finally get to some real talent.  Grand…  Oh, and since K’s ex-wife’s daughter’s chubby little tinkerbell is in A’s class, I may have to hold off on that invite.