Backstory: My grandmother went in for a routine outpatient colonoscopy.

Apparently they didn’t use enough anesthesia because your grandmother just yelled through the whole thing.  Afterward she asked them if this was Elmwood Hospital or Auschwitz!

you are ignoring me, I can tell
your computer is on, I can tell via skype but you don’t answer me
you don’t love me…

OR

you are so busy with school, life, love and all the other stuff going on that you just don’t have time for your mother
I understand but…
you are ignoring me and I miss you

Love your nagging mother

Didn’t check my email yesterday-getting ready  to go now so I don’t have time to look up recipes but off the top of my head….Take a can of veggie chili and lite cream cheese (8oz) heat together until cheese is melted. Voila-chili cheese dip!! Serve with baked chips. Or soften 8 oz cream cheese, spread in 11×7 pan (or on a dinner plate or an 8×8 or a 9x9pan), next layer ff refried beans, then some mashed avocado or guacamole, then sour cream, then lettuce, then some chopped tomato, then a bit of green onion. Surprise layered Mexican bean dip!! to make the beans a bit easier to spread, heat them slightly and mix a couple spoons of salsa in them. You can also put some salsa on top of the sour cream layer then the rest of the stuff. Be sure its a thick salsa though.

Ok-Gotta run-feel free to call and relieve me of the craziness. We’ll be back home on Monday late afternoon.

XOXO,
Mom

Backstory: I just told my mom I was having my first facial at a local salon.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THEM, BUT FACIALS ARE WONDERFUL. ARE YOU GOING TO LET THEM MAKE YOU UP? THAT TIME I WENT TO ELIZABETH ARDEN THEY MADE ME LOOK LIKE A HOOKER.

Backstory: I hadn’t seen my mom in a few months, since having broke up with my ex husband.
Wow, divorce really suits you! You look so thin!

Hey girls,
I just want you to know that I was surprised that not a single card came for me for my birthday. I love that you called but it’s been bugging me for the last few days so instead of taking up space in my bug head, I’m sharing it. As you well know I am not a “need to have a gift mom” but I guess I am for sure need to have a card/thought mom. So, no need to send one now however I want you to know the dates to which I like to receive a thought in the mail

Nov 9th (you did this year, thanks)
April 15
Mother’s Day
July 25th.

Thanks and have a good day/night.

Backstory: My brother John is a chef and frequently admonishes my mother about the dangers of bacterial spread in food left out on the counter.

I just made the most delicious enchiladas I’ve  ever eaten!
Ground turkey with seasonings, enchilada sauce,  black beans, white corn, vegetarian refried beans, a sprinkle of cheddar, and sauteed red and green jalapenos, in a whole wheat tortilla with lettuce…….heavenly!!!

However if daddy and I die from eating them (ground turkey thawed on the counter ALL DAY) please give John permission to speak at my funeral and say that he told me SO.

Backstory: My parents are hoping to sell their house in a few months and are cleaning furiously before listing it on the market.

I found a box of high school stuff of yours. As much as want to be a grandmother, I wouldn’t suggest using those old condoms…

I’m going to sign you up for Equestrian Singles: as Seen on Oprah. Then, I’ll pretend to be you so I can find you someone.

Got free dvr for 6 months, have it set up to record multiple quilting shows.  Sweet!!!!

Backstory: My mom mails me tapes of TV shows I want to watch (and occasionally Lifetime movies I don’t).  It’s like netflix, but more interesting.

Okay, here’s the thing -
I ran out of tape on the second ‘Castle’ on this tape, so the conclusion of the mystery is written down inside this envelope.
No peeking! :-)