Hi,
How goes it? I spent an hour or so cleaning up your room. You have to turn over a new leaf when you get back. We’re going to get rid of some clothes you don’t wear and even look at the books. You’ll feel good when you’re better organized, and it won’t be a big deal.
Anyway, I found a wallet with a driver’s license, etc. Don’t you need it?
Would you like me to send you the articles on your desk that you probably didn’t have time to read when you were home?
Do you have a mailing address?
You had a role of undeveloped film, so we’re having it developed.
I’m throwing out the dildo (or however you spell it). Not funny or cute, in my opinion.
Would you like your Appalachian trail certificate framed? If so, with our without the badges?
Did you realize that we bought you that clock (in Germany)? You never said anything.
Are all the arrows usable? I guess you’ll have to sort them out yourself.
You have tons of shoes now, by the way.
I hate it when moms go throught their children’s stuff. “Just cleaning your room.” Yeah right, why do you care about my room if the whole house is a mess.
But I never experienced what a friend of mine had to endure: “I washed your dildo’s and arranged them by size.” This mom is nearly as bad.
July 2, 2010 at 3:42 pm
At least she didn’t want to make a big thing of it. (Pardon the pun)
July 2, 2010 at 4:17 pm
I’m not sure the dildo(or however you spell it!) was meant to be cute OR funny.
July 2, 2010 at 8:47 pm
I wonder what’s on the undeveloped film…
July 2, 2010 at 9:54 pm
@ Vicki…That was My first thought!
July 3, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Jesus H. Macy, I would not handle this email well if my mom sent it.
July 4, 2010 at 1:05 am
Is Mom making sure you never come home again?!
July 4, 2010 at 3:18 pm
All I read was excuse to get a new toy.
What? she already has a ton of shoes.
July 4, 2010 at 9:31 pm
that was my email, and you’ll realize even more how weirded out i was if you know that i’m a dude.
July 5, 2010 at 8:20 pm
A mom here (not this mom – but I feel her pain). I do not clean my “children’s” rooms. However, an underachieving 20-year old man-child is still living in MY house…but not for long. When I see ants marching out of said bedroom and an unpleasant odor whafting from under the door, it is my right to inspect for the probable cause. Those who want to live like slobs may certainly do so – just not in my house.
July 6, 2010 at 1:35 pm
this mom is awesome! i love her!
July 6, 2010 at 1:38 pm
I love how this mother just weaved the dildo line into this message so nonchalantly and then calmly moves on to the next topic. Its as if she were saying, “btw I found an old piece of cardbord in your room.” I wonder if the rest of the email was specially crafted to give it this subtle effect. This thread is one of the most hilarious things I’ve seen on the internet.
July 6, 2010 at 6:14 pm
I love this post! And I think moms of adult children have every right to clean out their kids rooms – it’s their house. My mother ‘took over’ every one of our rooms, made them into ‘sewing rooms’, studies etc. and that was just when we left for college!
July 7, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Maybe your underachieving son can’t find a decent job BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE. Sorry, an “underachieving” recent college graduate has to vent somehow (not living at home btw). But seriously, I’m sure that the child would clean it out gladly when they got home if their mom would just ask them. No need to dig through their stuff.
July 9, 2010 at 1:58 am
Don’t keep sex toys at your parents’ house, kids.
July 10, 2010 at 5:49 pm
Lol. My mom does the same thing when my room gets too messy. She’s actually a great organizer. I don’t mind that she goes through my stuff since I really don’t have anything to hide but I really should start cleaning my own room–I’m 17.
July 14, 2010 at 4:31 pm
My mom just dumped everything from my childhood through college years on me without warning. It’s occupying an entire room in my small apartment, and I have no idea where I’m going to put all of it. I have to stop all of the other stuff I’m supposed to be doing to sort through it because I need to cut it all down to a reasonable amount.
Parents, seriously, just ask us to clean this stuff out ourselves! We can and will do so. Or just give us a heads up that you’re doing this sort of thing before doing it.
July 14, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Could be worse, my friend found a statue of the virgin Mary in place of her dildo while she was home on college break once.
July 18, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I like the “do you have a mailing address” question. how does she not know this? and the arrows… what an odd collection of items this person has.
July 25, 2010 at 9:59 pm
wow – if my mom had sent this to me, there would have been some serious fireworks.
October 13, 2010 at 2:17 pm