I just found out what it means when they call Sarah Palin a MILF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a little moment for your father.
This morning he left me a message that my cell phone was in the
microwave.  My first thought this morning was what the heck did I drink
at Auntie Mary Ann’s, but I did not drink that much because I had things
to do and wanted to watch Desperate House Wives.
He put [...]

I understand how easy it is to get hooked on daytime TV talk shows.  This past summer my best friends were the ladies on the view and I finally realized they were not really that interesting most of the time.  I was only watching to see what they wore.  I also watched the beginning of [...]

Work hard, vote, do good, avoid evil and eat your frozen vegetables. (equally nutritious as and cheaper than fresh).

Madge is a ho and I hope that cute englishman cleans her out! Maybe he can make a decent movie now. Love mummy ps Ihave had a little wine

Please e-mail Nick’s address…..I want to send a small wedding gift.   Oh, found Melissa’s polka dot thong…washed it, fluffed up the cute black bow & will mail it to her office.  love you , Mommy

Write to me, dammit…Please?

I believe we have  a situation going on. Roy was outside over by the fence. That new Pomeranian was barking and Roy was crying a little bit. I think he likes her! We’ve got a Roymeo and Juliet thing perhaps. She (?) had her paws up on the deck, like a balcony, calling out to [...]

Daddy asked me to ask you what you would do if you fell outside your apartment and broke an arm: either one–right or left–would you get paid by work when you are of limited ability?
Why do you wait when this is like walking a tight rope over a chasm…which is what you area doing right [...]

____     I’m OK, just busy
____     Please don’t bother me
____     I’m sick
____     I’m sick, come and see about me
____     I’m home, but don’t call me
____     I’m at work; but don’t call me
____     I’m too busy to answer this.

Are you eating foods that have fats or fish oil for the brain?

I thought I would send an e.mail so you don’t think I have abandoned you.  I spent considerable time on the phone to your sister last night and was quite wrung out by the experience!  I had no energy to phone anyone else.  Our family don’t seem to be cutting the mustard regarding the wedding. [...]

Laura & I are going to the Mary J. Blige concert tonight.  I got free tickets from work.  $77 a ticket.  Amber wanted me to give her the tickets but I told her Laura & I will wear our thug out clothes so we fit in.  She corrected me with “it’s thugged out, mom, not [...]

Hi from mom,
Yasmin, scroll down to bottom of message and please read.  I have never forwarded anything, but this is something different.  Bill Gates is giving away money.  Please forward this to anyone you can think of.  Love mom.

Backstory: I got a tattoo and told my mom via an email that said “Guess what I did??” with the picture attached.
EEEEEEEEK!  WHAT DOES IT MEAN?  Did it hurt?  Are you nuts?  etc! Etc! Etc!  PS: I love you anyway! Talk to you later!

Just a quick email to say I love you all before your trip to the beach starts.
BE SAFE (tell my granddaughter she is N E V E R allowed near the ocean).
Have a great time at the beach.
Much Love,
Mom

Dad and I woke up this morning thinking about how different our lives would have been if we had stayed in Porterville. You both should be very thankful. We figure that your sister would have gotten into leather work or possibly specializing in large belt buckles and you would not have handled all of the [...]

Airports are the best places to kidnap someone.  Be watchful.  Stay together.  Buddy system.  If you are kidnapped, speak french… no one wants them!

Backstory:  I sent my mom the website http://palin.appspot.com/
But it now turns out I have something in common with her - no, I’m not the flat tire on your new bike but I do use Microsoft IE as my browser. I’ve never, ever felt like a cyber has-been before but I’m apparently so has-been that I [...]

am bringing home two different boards, a science board and a yard sale board, I need to make a poster for Linda’s 40th birthday and was wondering if you might help me (being the teacher part of you).
I want to attach bras to it and say Happy 40th Birthday from your Bosom Buddies.
Doesn’t that sound [...]