Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com A repository of modern day maternal correspondence Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:00:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 Mom’s Hip with the Lingo http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/10/moms-hip-with-the-lingo/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/10/moms-hip-with-the-lingo/#comments Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:00:46 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=7003 Backstory: We were having a discussion about drugs and mom got insulted when I started explaining certain references to her that she was apparently already aware of.

Oh please… I was snortin’ coke when you were still drinkin’ it out of a bottle!

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/10/moms-hip-with-the-lingo/feed/ 0 In Case of Charles Manson http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/08/in-case-of-charles-manson/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/08/in-case-of-charles-manson/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:00:24 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=7001 Yesterday i found a crack in the foundation and called a guy from the yellow pages.  He is going to fix it tomorrow or monday or tuesday for a trivial amount of money but he seemed a little strange so just wanted you to know who it is just in case he’s really a serial killer.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/08/in-case-of-charles-manson/feed/ 0 I Have Fun Too http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/06/i-have-fun-too/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/06/i-have-fun-too/#comments Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:00:37 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6999 Backstory: My mother got a mammogram the same day that I had a quiz in geography, and felt the need to give me an update when I gave her one.

me: aced my geography quiz! i got them all right!
mom: u the bomb! i got my boobies smashed! see? i have fun too.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/06/i-have-fun-too/feed/ 0 Way Harsh, Mom http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/03/way-harsh-mom/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/03/way-harsh-mom/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:00:42 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6997 Backstory: I only date guys who are very smart and, in the past, this has equaled NOT the most attractive men out there.  I finally found a smart and really hot guy!  My mom was clearly shocked!

Me: I just sent you an email with a picture of me and Jeff.  Did you get it?
Mom: Yeah.  I have your email.
Mom: OMG!  Holy Shit!  I’m so used to you dating fuglies that I was shocked to see how handsome he is.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/03/way-harsh-mom/feed/ 0 How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/01/how-mom-really-feels-about-sesame-street/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/01/how-mom-really-feels-about-sesame-street/#comments Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:00:10 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6995 Me: So, the Halloween party I went to was really fun
Mom: Were there a lot of Snookis?
Me: No, didn’t see any Snookis.
Mom: She’s a degenerate.
Me: There were a lot of Lady Gagas.
Mom: I can’t stand Lady Gaga; she should be ashamed of herself.
Me: What?  I like Lady Gaga.  Oh, the group of guys we went with dressed as the Sesame Street characters!
Mom: I can’t stand Sesame Street.
Me: What?
Mom: They’re obnoxious.  I just never told you that growing up.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/02/01/how-mom-really-feels-about-sesame-street/feed/ 2 The Joys of Aging http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/30/the-joys-of-aging/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/30/the-joys-of-aging/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:00:30 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6993 Backstory: Mom’s response to my email asking how old Dad is turning next week.

He was born in 1950…………….yikes, 62.  Don’t say anything about getting old.  It is bugging him that we are getting old and he is a little depressed.  When he gets depressed, he obsesses about his bowels.
Love MOM

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/30/the-joys-of-aging/feed/ 1 We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/27/were-gone-for-a-day-we-might-die/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/27/were-gone-for-a-day-we-might-die/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:00:03 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6991 We’re leaving to go to South Carolina by plane tomorrow and back on Sunday.

Will call when we get back…love you!!!

Mom

PS:  If anything happens to us, coordinate with Aunt Sue and Matt.  Matt and you will split everything 50/50.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/27/were-gone-for-a-day-we-might-die/feed/ 1 Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/25/butt-dialing-septic-tanks-valentines/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/25/butt-dialing-septic-tanks-valentines/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:00:29 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6989 Backstory: More irreverence from my mother who feels that all news must be put in to one email, less than 500 words, telegram style.  I don’t even know how to respond to this.  Where to begin?

Yesterday we went to the barbershop (Dad’s hair covering collar). While I was sitting there waiting for Dad, the cell phone rang. It was your aunt. She was sitting at Reagan airport and didn’t mean to call me, she said. The barber said that’s called “butt dialing.”  Septic Tank people called to say they had an emergency so didn’t come to us-coming this afternoon since ours is not an emergency. This morning I had annual mammo. I am at work but have to leave now that the boys are here. I got an email from your sister-just checking in. That’s nice for a change. Still haven’t got the mouse who gets the peanut butter. My colleague says if I bring in a brand-new trap he will show me how to set it foolproof. He says twist bacon around the trapper. I have got to catch this mouse. The dog had a restless night–lots of snorting and sneezing. SHe finally stopped and went to sleep but I got up and did aerobics. I think that’s all the news. I need L’s USPS address so I can send a Valentine. Ciao.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/25/butt-dialing-septic-tanks-valentines/feed/ 4 Happy Milk Day http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/23/happy-milk-day/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/23/happy-milk-day/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:00:46 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6986 Am in the taxi and watching the crazy tv in the back and I see that we along with mayor bloomberg and many more are celebrating milk day! I am thinking, what the hell, is the recession so bad that we have to say thanks to the cows?!?

I now see that it was MLK day as in Martin Luther King!! I think I am really losing it!

Your mom!

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/23/happy-milk-day/feed/ 0 Do You Need Therapy Now? http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/20/do-you-need-therapy-now/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/20/do-you-need-therapy-now/#comments Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:00:57 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6982 Backstory: I had been teasing my mom about having a tough childhood, which of course we didn’t, and she gave me way TMI.

Me: Get your panties out of a bunch, I was just kidding!
Mom: Since I met my new man, panties are optional.  yes you did have a great childhood.
Me: Oh wow…
Mom: Do you need therapy now?
Me: Yes

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/20/do-you-need-therapy-now/feed/ 2 Christ in a Clown Suit http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/18/christ-in-a-clown-suit/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/18/christ-in-a-clown-suit/#comments Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:00:15 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6979 Backstory: my mom is religious, I am not.

Me: i got THE CUTEST green dress with bloomers for hopie (my boyfriend’s new niece)
Mom: COOL….I BET IT IS SOOO CUTE
Me: it is! i texted geoff to make sure it was ok
Mom: I’M SURE THAT AS LONG AS IT DOESNT’ HAVE JESUS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN ON THE CROSS WEARING A CLOWN SUIT IT WILL BE FINE

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/18/christ-in-a-clown-suit/feed/ 3 Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/17/good-luck-with-your-mutant-ear/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/17/good-luck-with-your-mutant-ear/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 16:00:55 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6976 Backstory: I got an ear infection while scuba diving in Thailand because I got a small piece of seaweed lodged in my ear.

hi honey-
sorry to hear about your ear.  i saw a movie on the sci-fi channel about that once.  he turned into a swamp thing.  good luck with that.
love-
mom

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/17/good-luck-with-your-mutant-ear/feed/ 0 Seth Rogen, the Thinking Mom’s Sex Symbol http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/11/seth-rogen-the-thinking-moms-sex-symbol/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/11/seth-rogen-the-thinking-moms-sex-symbol/#comments Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:00:07 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6974 Mom: I am watching Knocked Up.
Me: What a surprise.
Mom: I have seen it about 8 times at least.
Me: Wow.
Mom: I love that Seth Rogen. I think he is very attractive. I haven’t liked a young star this much in a while.  He is in another movie Pineapple Express.
Me: When you come here, we’ll rent it through Netflix
Mom: Well, I would love that.  He is just so adorable.  I never liked men like him. But I really like him.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/11/seth-rogen-the-thinking-moms-sex-symbol/feed/ 2 New Year, New ‘Do http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/09/new-year-new-do/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/09/new-year-new-do/#comments Mon, 09 Jan 2012 16:00:17 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6972 I just got a haircut.  Lianna just cut my hair DRASTICALLY. I look like a naked mole rat. Love, Mom

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/09/new-year-new-do/feed/ 0 Holidays at Grandpa’s House http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/06/holidays-at-grandpas-house/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/06/holidays-at-grandpas-house/#comments Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:00:21 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6965 Backstory: Splash is their new bichon frise

Grandpa gave us a personal tour of his nude art collection with the latest addition from Paris & Splash pissed 3 times in the living room.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/06/holidays-at-grandpas-house/feed/ 0 Special Delivery at Mom’s House http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/04/special-delivery-at-moms-house/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/04/special-delivery-at-moms-house/#comments Wed, 04 Jan 2012 16:00:08 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6961 Backstory: I ordered some things from a Slumber Parties (adult toys) representative that got delivered to my mom’s house (I don’t live there anymore) and apparently she took it upon herself to look inside the bag and see what I had bought.

Stephanie dropped off your bag of goodies!  Some of the things look very interesting!  Just interested and I don’t really care what you do with the stuff as long as you are happy!

Love,
Mom

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/04/special-delivery-at-moms-house/feed/ 1 Aspirational New Year’s Resolutions http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/02/aspirational-new-years-resolutions/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/02/aspirational-new-years-resolutions/#comments Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:00:29 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6968 Backstory: My New Year’s resolution was to quit smoking.  My mom had apparently had a few which compromised her texting abilities.

Mom: Have you quit smoking!
Me: Pretty much
Mom: Cool.  I have given up drinkin4
Me: Why did you quit!?
Mom: Still dimling.
Mom: Got any cigarettes?

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2012/01/02/aspirational-new-years-resolutions/feed/ 0 Who Cares What You Want for Christmas? http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/23/who-cares-what-you-want-for-christmas/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/23/who-cares-what-you-want-for-christmas/#comments Fri, 23 Dec 2011 16:00:22 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6958 Mom: The kindle cover you picked out for Christmas is ugly. I’m buying you a different one.
Me: Why do you care?! It’s not for your own kindle and you’ll never have to even see it.
Mom: It has velcro on it. Seriously? VELCRO.
Me: Mom, it’s the one I want.
Mom: Who cares what you want?

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/23/who-cares-what-you-want-for-christmas/feed/ 1 Meat Fixes Everything http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/21/meat-fixes-everything/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/21/meat-fixes-everything/#comments Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:00:28 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6956 Backstory: I ended up owing the government some money due to filing my taxes wrong. This was my mother’s advice.

Yes, tax debacles can be problematic.  Hopefully, if you take a page from Anne of Green Gables, you won’t make that mistake again. Positive imagery.  Have a piece of meat (I’m reading your joy of chemistry book.  I forgot about it for awhile), you must have a pork chop someplace.

]]> http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/21/meat-fixes-everything/feed/ 1 Husband Hunting at Barnes & Noble http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/19/husband-hunting-at-barnes-noble/ http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/2011/12/19/husband-hunting-at-barnes-noble/#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:00:07 +0000 Postcards From Yo Momma http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/?p=6954 Backstory: At the ripe old age of 24, my Jewish mother is concerned that I will never meet my nice Jewish husband.. Apparently a visit to Barnes & Noble is exactly what I need.

“How to Shop For A Husband” by Janice Leiberman.
I was told that it is a good read. Might be worth having coffee and reading in the store.

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