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Highest Rated Posts (last 7 days)

Way Harsh, Mom

Backstory: I only date guys who are very smart and, in the past, this has equaled NOT the most attractive men out there. I finally found a smart and really hot guy! My mom was clearly shocked!

Me: I just sent you an email with a picture of me and Jeff. Did you get it?
Mom: Yeah. I have your email.
Mom: OMG! Holy Shit! I’m so used to you dating fuglies that I was shocked to see how handsome he is.

posted on 02.03.2012 at 11:00 am (no comments »)

8 Likes +1

In Case of Charles Manson

Yesterday i found a crack in the foundation and called a guy from the yellow pages. He is going to fix it tomorrow or monday or tuesday for a trivial amount of money but he seemed a little strange so just wanted you to know who it is just in case he’s really a serial killer.

posted on 02.08.2012 at 11:00 am (no comments »)

5 Likes +1

I Have Fun Too

Backstory: My mother got a mammogram the same day that I had a quiz in geography, and felt the need to give me an update when I gave her one.

me: aced my geography quiz! i got them all right!
mom: u the bomb! i got my boobies smashed! see? i have fun too.

posted on 02.06.2012 at 11:00 am (no comments »)

4 Likes +1

Mom’s Hip with the Lingo

Backstory: We were having a discussion about drugs and mom got insulted when I started explaining certain references to her that she was apparently already aware of.

Oh please… I was snortin’ coke when you were still drinkin’ it out of a bottle!

posted on 02.10.2012 at 11:00 am (no comments »)

0 Likes +1

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"My grandma is always talking about all of these low-fat recipes she makes, then criticizes me for not slathering butter all over the bread when I make grilled cheese."
— Josh
on "Home Cookin’"
- Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
  - A Mom: We do this because we think about you all the time. We run-on our sentences, eschew...
  - KMc: My mom sends emails like this too! She writes in her own shorthand language that I...
  - Patrick: I think the response ‘roger’ is appropriate.
- How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
  - Cat: hahaha that’s my mom! :-)
  - Terry: Laughing, soda dripping down my chin.
- The Joys of Aging (1)
  - Anj: Oh dear. 62 is not old! :) LOL on the bowels…
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 2. In Case of Charles Manson +5
- 3. I Have Fun Too +4
- 4. Mom’s Hip with the Lingo +0
— view all —
- 1. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear +17
- 2. Do You Need Therapy Now? +10
- 3. The Joys of Aging +9
- 4. We’re Gone For A Day, We Might Die +8
- 5. Way Harsh, Mom +8
- 6. Happy Milk Day +7
- 7. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street +7
- 8. Christ in a Clown Suit +7
- 9. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. +5
- 10. In Case of Charles Manson +5
— view all —
- 1. Climbing & Unwrapping Are Skills of Mine +30
- 2. Flip Flops, Taco Bell–Your Generation’s Going to Hell +26
- 3. Patience Is a Virtue +22
- 4. What is a “Cannabis User”? +22
- 5. You’re the Best Adult Vomiter I Know +21
- 6. I Didn’t Just Fall Off the Turnip Truck +21
- 7. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate +20
- 8. Have I lost my “Hotness” ? +19
- 9. Trick or Treat? +19
- 10. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer +18
— view all —
- 1. Don’t Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME +1496
- 2. Mom, Dad and Facebook: A Dangerous Combo +1162
- 3. Get me out of here! +1054
- 4. Hear me…RABBITS. +1015
- 5. The Grown-Ass Woman’s Club +1014
- 6. What Mom Learned From AARP +973
- 7. Sometimes a Snake is Just a Snake +950
- 8. How to Save Your Marriage +910
- 9. Spring Cleaning? +871
- 10. What Men Want +813
— view all —
Past 7 Days Past 30 Days 6 Months All Time
- 1. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 2. Way Harsh, Mom (0)
- 3. I Have Fun Too (0)
- 4. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 5. In Case of Charles Manson (0)
- 6. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 7. Mom's Hip with the Lingo (0)
- 1. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 2. Christ in a Clown Suit (3)
- 3. Seth Rogen, the Thinking Mom's Sex Symbol (2)
- 4. Do You Need Therapy Now? (2)
- 5. How Mom REALLY Feels About Sesame Street (2)
- 6. We're Gone For A Day, We Might Die (1)
- 7. The Joys of Aging (1)
- 8. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 9. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 10. Good Luck with Your Mutant Ear (0)
- 1. What is a "Cannabis User"? (9)
- 2. If I Die, Tell Them What I Ate (7)
- 3. Hurricane Preparedness (5)
- 4. Call Me Crazy (5)
- 5. It's Not Called Mom's Nipple Book (5)
- 6. Mom's Mind Is Out to Sea (5)
- 7. Your New Criteria: No Prison Record, Not a Lawyer (4)
- 8. The Great Paranoid Pumpkin (4)
- 9. Dude!! It's Your Daughter's Wedding. (4)
- 10. Butt Dialing, Septic Tanks, Valentines. (4)
- 1. Where Are You From? (182)
- 2. Today in Mom News: How Did You Choose Your Child's Name? (132)
- 3. First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children (98)
- 4. Grandma Can't Be Bothered? (77)
- 5. Don't Passive-Aggressive-Smile-Face-ME (76)
- 6. Does Your Mom Buy You Undies Every Year? (72)
- 7. And you are becoming a male hater (70)
- 8. Who is the Baby Daddy? (57)
- 9. Mom the Grammar Nazi (52)
- 10. The Grown-Ass Woman's Club (49)
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Highest Rated Posts (last 7 days)

Way Harsh, Mom

In Case of Charles Manson

I Have Fun Too

Mom’s Hip with the Lingo

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